The Meeting
by JustForkIt
Summary: They've known each other for years but never actually met. Through IMs, phone calls, and text messaging they've become best friends. But what happens with Bella takes an unexpected job opportunity that will put them both in the same town?
1. Jumping In Head First

**Not mine.**

"Have you lost your mind?"

I shushed my best friend, who also happened to be my coworker, and ushered her into my tiny cubicle. Alice grumbled while she practically crawled over my chair and then shoved my stapler and tape dispenser into my arms. I took them and peeked above the top of the partition while Alice made herself a seat on the only empty surface of my desk. When I realized no one was watching us, I turned around and asked her, "What did I just agree to?"

Alice, who was now twisting a paperclip into an origami shaped mess, only shrugged her shoulders. "Well, I am pretty sure that you just volunteered for an assignment in which you would have to interview one of the most eccentric men alive while accompanying him on a sail boat."

I opened my mouth to say something but Alice kept talking.

"While you we're throwing your arm in the air and practically begging Withers to give you this assignment, did it ever cross your mind that you can't swim, Bella? Or that you have an innate since of fear for water that is more than 4 feet deep?"

I leaned back against fabric covered wall of my cubicle and sighed. "I… what… _shit_!"

Alice nodded her head. "Exactly."

"I don't know what happened... it was like… everything sane thought in my head just-"

"Oh, I know what happened!" She found my cell phone amongst the mess of paperwork littering my desk and chunked it at me. "While everyone else was paying attention to the fact that this assignment would include _sailing_, in the dead of _winter_, in _Seattle_, you were day dreaming of Boy Wonder who just happens to live there!"

I wanted to lie… I wanted to tell Alice that it wasn't because of him. But she would know I was lying… so really what was the point? While our editor had been talking about the details of the interview, I'd only been focused on one specific detail. If I did this, if I took this assignment, I would have an all-expense paid trip to Seattle. I could finally meet Edward and we would finally know if this… if we… were meant to be more.

Never, in all my life, had I ever thought that I would meet someone on the internet. In fact, I'd always been pretty cautious about it. But when I was eighteen, I'd randomly met someone in an AOL chat room. We'd started out talking occasionally when both of us had been online, and then it turned into a weekly occurrence. Within a few months we were talking every day, then on the phone, and now… it was like Edward had become a permanent fixture in my life. It been ten years since I'd "met" him, and after several failed attempts at relationships with other men, I had to start wondering if Edward was more than just the best friend I'd shared some of my deepest secrets and most precious dreams with…but hadn't ever met.

"Are you even listening to me?"

When a paperclip hit my forehead, I focused back on my friend. "What?"

She shook her head. "You do realize you'll actually have to do this assignment, don't you? This can't be some glorified booty call that-"

"Alice!" I hissed in a whisper before looking over my partition to make sure no one was listening.

"What?" She laughed. "You're the one that said the phone sex with him was better than any of the actual sex that you've ever had."

I didn't need a mirror to know that my face and neck were the color of a tomato.

"I'm just saying, as your friend, I think you're in over your head."

I sighed before agreeing with her. "I think so too."

"Which is why I convinced Withers to let me go with you."

I pushed away from the partition and practically yelled, "You did?"

A few spaces over, I saw Caroline raise her head and look in our direction; I lowered my voice and smiled. "You did?"

"We leave next Sunday." Alice stood up and crawled over my chair again. "Call Edward and make reservations for your booty call. Then call the YMCA and make plans to take swimming lessons. I'll start researching this Jasper Whitlock that we're supposed to be interviewing and we can get the portfolio together before we leave."

I wrapped my arms around her tiny shoulders and hugged her tightly. "Thank you so much, Alice!"

She muttered something about me being an idiot, but I felt her smile against my shoulder. When she pulled away from me, she fixed her skirt and then shook her head. "Can't let you go gallivanting around the country meeting weirdoes from the internet, now can I?"

I watched as she made her way back to her own desk and then sat down. With nervous fingers, I typed out a hurried text message to Edward.

_Guess who's coming to Seattle._

**AN: Took a nap and had a dream about this fic. I just had to write it down. More to come!**


	2. What If?

**Not mine.**

**Edward**

"Coach."

I could hear someone talking but my entire focus was on the small screen of my telephone. With just five small words my entire day, maybe even life, had changed. Bella, _my_ Bella, was coming to Seattle.

"Coach Cullen?"

Blinking, I finally tore my eyes away from the phone and stared at the kid standing in front of me. He nervously cleared his throat before sliding a piece of paper onto my desk.

"I was just turning in the extra credit you asked for…"

I nodded and tried not to act like I was on the verge of screaming like a little girl. "Great, Anderson." Taking the paper, I slid it into the rest of the stack of shit I had to grade and tried to pull myself together. "I'll see you at practice."

The kid gave me another nervous glance and then quickly shuffled out of the room. After making sure the classroom door was shut, I frantically picked up my cellphone and dialed Bella's phone number. We normally agreed not to call each other during the work day but I was pretty positive that this warranted a change from the normal. Unfortunately, Bella was too busy working and the call went straight to voice mail.

"Please, _please_, tell me that the text message you sent me wasn't a joke. I've got practice in thirty minutes but call me when you get this."

This was big. Huge. I'd known Isabella Swan for nearly ten years but hadn't ever actually met her. Sure I'd seen picture of her from Facebook and MySpace; she'd even mailed a couple of pictures for me to keep, but this would be the first time that I'd actually _see_ her. I'd get to see the smile that matched her laughter. I'd know what it felt like to physically touch her. The two of us would finally know if we were meant to be more than just two long distance friends.

I'll be the first to admit that meeting someone from an AOL chat room was not something I was exactly bragging about. I didn't really consider myself the type of guy that needed help finding a woman, but there was something about Bella that was just different. It had started out innocently enough, just two kids bored on a school night and avoiding homework. But then it had grown into a flirtatious friendship that had morphed into something addictive.

Throughout college, and even after, I'd always tried to convince myself that Bella was just Bella and that she was nothing more than a friend. But she was always there, in the back of my mind, making me ask myself, _what if_? What if she was really the one? What if I was just wasting my time on all these other girls? What if I was meant to fall in love with someone that lived thousands of miles away?

So slowly, over time, I began to compare other girls I'd dated to Bella. Somehow, they never really measured up. I needed someone that would understand that with teaching and coaching, I'd be away from home a lot. I needed someone to call me on my bullshit and tell me when I was being an arrogant asshole. I wanted a girl that would be totally fine with sitting home on a Saturday and waste the day away watching college sports and playing video games. And then the realization had hit me. Bella was every one of those things and more. Hell, she'd kicked my ass playing Call of Duty and had a subscription to the DirecTV football channels. Isabella Swan was perfect for me. The only problem was that she lived in Arizona and I lived in Washington.

I'd thought about going down and there and surprising her but the one time I'd seriously considered doing it, Bella had called me the next day and wanted my opinion on a guy that had asked her out on a date. I was jealous, and I freely admit that, but I couldn't ruin an opportunity for her to be happy. Bella had a life in Arizona, I had one in Seattle, and we both had to accept that. She'd dated that idiot Tyler and then I'd had that whole fiasco with Victoria… the timing wasn't ever right for us. Until now.

"Hello, Captain Dumbass!"

For the second time in the last hour someone had been talking to me and I hadn't even noticed. It wasn't until a balled up piece of paper hit the side of my head that I even realized Emmett standing in front of me.

"Huh?"

My brother-in-law and fellow coach just smiled. "Morning, Sunshine!"

"Sorry, I was… just thinking." I started shoving all of the paperwork covering my desk into my bag. "What were you saying?"

"Well, originally I asked if you were ready for practice. When you didn't answer me, I asked what you were thinking about. When I saw the look in your eyes, I asked _who_ you were thinking about." Emmett stole one of the protein bars out of my desk drawer and after taking a huge bite out of it, started talking again. "Having sexy daydreams at school, huh? That's cool. I do it all the time. In fact this morning before we left for work Rosalie-"

"Over share, Em!" I stood up and shook my head. "I don't need to know about what happens between you and my sister. Ever."

The big oaf shrugged his shoulders and then shoved the rest of the protein bar into his mouth. Once he'd swallowed he said, "Then tell me who you were thinking about when I walked in."

I regretted telling him before the words even left my mouth. "Bella."

"Bella again? When will you ever learn to move past that and start taking the opportunities that are right in front of you and not a million miles away? Rosie wanted to set you up with that nurse from the hospital. And what about Kate? I thought the two of you had been pretty friendly lately."

I ignored the whole idea of Rosalie hooking me up with someone and the conversation about Kate. Instead, I pulled the strap to my bag over my shoulder and started walking about of the room. Before the door shut behind me, I turned around and smiled at my brother-in-law. "For your information, Bella is coming to Seattle."

I laughed at the surprised look on his face and made my way to the baseball field house.

xXxXxXx

"So, our flights should get in around five-thirty. Alice said the hotel is pretty close to downtown so I'll probably have to get you to give me directions to your house."

Staring up at the ceiling of my bed room, a week after originally hearing the news that Bella was visiting, it was still hard to believe that it was true. "You're not kidding me, are you?" I smiled at the sound of Bella laughing and threw an arm behind my head. "I might not ever forgive you if you are."

Bella gave me an exasperated sigh. "I'm coming to Seattle, Edward. When will you finally believe me?"

"When you're actually standing in front of me."

I could hear the breath catch in her throat and both of us became silent. It was a few seconds before Bella spoke again. "It's going to be weird, isn't it? Finally meeting."

"No," I lied. The truth was that I was scared to death that us meeting would be the end of everything.

Bella, being Bella, called me on my shit. "You're lying."

I nodded even though she couldn't see me. "I'm just… scared you won't like me." The second the words came out I wanted to stab myself with a dull knife. Could I sound any more pathetic?

"I'm scared you won't like me either. So I guess that makes us even. Doesn't it?"

"But… what if?" My question kick started our old familiar game.

Bella asked, "What if I come up there and you think my eyes are set too close together?"

I rolled my eyes at her ridiculousness. "What if you hate the way that I sing along with the radio?"

That made her laugh and I smiled.

"What if I'm not everything you expected?"

She tried to make her question seem sarcastic but I knew her well enough to know that there was a serious edge behind it.

"What if you _are_ everything I expected and more?"

Neither one of us had really talked about what would happen if this did end up being exactly what we both wanted. Would I move to Arizona? Would she move to Seattle? Everyone said that long distance relationships never worked but maybe Bella and I could make it.

"Edward?"

The hesitation in her voice made me close my eyes. "Yeah?"

"What if we never tried to see if this was meant to be more?"

I answered her truthfully. "That's a chance I'm not willing to take."

"Me either."

Bella's answer erased any doubt that I had about us meeting. I would be nervous, probably the entire time she was here, but I knew that this was something we had to do. We had to know.

**AN: I love that yall are so excited about this story because I am too! Thanks for all the favs, alerts and reviews. Also, for everyone asking, I haven't given up on any of my other stories. I'm working on updates for all of them.**


	3. At First Sight

**Not mine.**

**Bella**

This was really happening. I was really on a plane headed for Seattle and I was really going to meet Edward Cullen in less than four hours. As I watched the scenery transform below us, I couldn't help but worry that all of this was going to end in one big mess. Not only was I supposed to be meeting someone that could possibly be the best thing to ever happened to me, I was also interviewing one of the most eccentric and philanthropic men in the United States that never, ever, did personal interviews.

Jasper Whitlock was known for being very bizarre in his personal life and somewhat reclusive, all the while giving millions of dollars to different organizations or charities that he deemed appropriate, or so Alice told me. I'd been so wrapped up in meeting Edward that I'd neglected the majority of my duty to research Mr. Whitlock.

"His publicist is calling us tonight to arrange a time to meet up and get the pictures taken for the article. I still don't understand why he is insisting on the damn sail boat but apparently that was a breaking point in the agreement to do the interview. You interview him, he takes you out sailing."

I nodded my head at Alice's ranting and flipped through the portfolio she'd thrown together.

"Then, hopefully, that will just leave your little sailing jaunt on Friday and then we can head home Saturday morning. I made a list of… Bella are you even listening to me?"

"What?"

Alice shook her head and then turned to face me. "Bella, you have to focus. I know that meeting Edward is exciting and that… I dunno, you're jazzed about the prospect of finally getting laid again, but if you screw up this interview you will get fired. We could both get fired."

"Alice!"

"What?" She innocently asked.

"Why do you keep insisting on the fact that I will be hooking up with Edward? I'm not some floozy that just throws herself at the first guy showing the slightest bit interest!"

"Okay," Alice laughed. "Number one, you just used the word floozy. And number two, I am willing to bet you a hundred bucks that the second you lay eyes on Edward that your panties drop faster than-"

"Oh shut up."

She kept laughing so I yanked the interview notes away from her and tried to focus on my job.

xXxXxXx

"I'm going to be sick…"

Alice gave me a shove towards the airport bathroom and then pulled her makeup bag out of her purse. I numbly stood there and let her apply lip gloss and fluff my hair. "You'll be fine. Just take a deep breath."

For the past two weeks I'd been so excited about meeting Edward. But now, with him downstairs and waiting for us by baggage claim, I was ready to turn around and fly back to Arizona. What if he hated me? What if this was a huge mistake?

"Why did I agree to let him pick us up at the airport?"

My question was rhetorical but Alice gave me an answer anyway. "Because you're in love, darling. Now mush your lips together, straighten your shirt, and let's get this initial awkward meeting thing over with."

"I'm not in love, Alice."

She just nodded her head and smiled. "Sure you're not. Let's go."

I reluctantly followed her and tried to convince myself that Alice had it all wrong. I cared for Edward, a lot, but there was no way that I loved him. How could you possibly love someone that you'd never met?

"Do you see him?"

I cautiously looked around the crowded lobby, searching the crowds for him. I looked for a tall, slender man with bright auburn hair. When I saw someone fitting that description standing next to the rack for luggage carts, I couldn't help but smile. "He's there."

Alice followed my subtle pointing and then nudged my shoulder. "Not a bad view from the back, Bella."

I took a deep breath before carefully stepping off of the escalator and made my way to finally meet Edward Cullen. When I was standing directly behind him, I smiled and asked, "So do you believe that I'm actually in Seattle now?"

He turned around, and the smile that I had planted on my face fell to the floor. This guy wasn't Edward.

"I'm not sure you're looking for me, Sweetheart, but I'll be glad to show you around Seattle if you want."

"I'm sorry…" I stammered, backing away from him. "I thought you were someone else."

"How do you not know who he is?" Alice laughed.

I apologized again to the random stranger I'd just mistakenly hit on and turning to grab my friend's hand. When I did, I accidently collided with someone that wasn't Alice and fell backwards, landing directly on my ass.

When my butt hit the concrete floor I made a very unattractive grunting noise.

"Bella?"

I knew that voice. Looking at Edward's feet, I started shaking my head. "This was so not how I pictured you meeting me."

He laughed before offering me a hand. I took it and let him help me up off of the floor. It wasn't until I was standing in front of him that it really hit me. This was Edward. This was the person I'd known for ten years and never actually met face to face. Taking a slow breath, I lifted my eyes to look at him.

He smiled before squeezing my hand. "Hi."

I wanted to talk, to say hello back, but I was too stunned by how absolutely freaking attractive Edward was. The pictures I'd seen through the years definitely didn't do him justice. He smirked at my gawking silence and I forced myself to say something.

"Um, you're really hot in person."

He barked out a laugh and Alice snorted behind her hand. I shook my head and immediately started trying to cover up my stupid non-filtered rambling. "I mean…. Hi."

"Well, now that Bella has gotten the awkward first moment out of the way, I guess I should introduce myself." Alice moved her purse to the other arm and held a hand out for Edward. "I'm Alice."

"Nice to meet you Alice, I'm Edward."

The alarm for the baggage check started beeping, telling us that our luggage was on its way. My best friend gave Edward's hand one last shake and then smiled. "Nice to meet you too, Boy Wonder. But I'm warning you right now, hurt my best friend, and I'll make you regret it."

With that, she turned around and made a bee line for the baggage carousel. Leaving me standing slack jawed and completely embarrassed by her behavior. Edward laughed before taking my hand again. With a gentle tug, he motioned for us to join Alice. I wanted to apologize for her behavior but he stopped me.

"I like her. Glad to know she's looking out for you."

"She can be a little… much. Don't take it personally, she hates everyone."

He nodded before leaning down and whispering, "I'm glad you're here."

As if it were the most natural thing in the world, Edward's arm made its way around my shoulders. I leaned into him and held onto his side before nodding my head. "Me too…I was totally scared that I'd make a huge ass of myself. Oh, wait…"

The three of us made small talk while we waited for the carousel to bring our luggage around, and afterwards, Edward had been a complete gentleman and carried both of our bags out to his car. He held the car door open for Alice, and after she'd crawled into the back seat, he held onto my arm to keep me from getting in after her.

I looked up at him and my stomach fluttered from nerves. "Yeah?"

"For the record, I don't think your eyes are set too close together," he said with a smile. "And you are everything I'd imagined you would be, so don't be nervous."

I smiled, hoping that he wouldn't notice the blush that was covering my neck and face. But, he did.

"By the way, I love the blushing thing."

Edward shut the car door after I'd gotten in. As he walked around to the driver's side, Alice nudged the back of my chair with her knee. "You owe me a hundred bucks, Swan."

Before Edward got in the car I smiled and told her to shut up.

**AN: Oh Bella.**


	4. Its a Date

**Not mine. **

"So, Edward's bff-slash-soul mate is coming for a visit in a few days."

I dropped my fork onto the plate in front of me and glared at my brother-in-law. "Thanks, Asshole."

"Wait," Rosalie slid back into her chair and shook her head. "That Bella girl is coming to Seattle? To see you?"

It wasn't that I was ashamed of Bella. In fact, I was pretty much willing to start singing in musical verses because I was so damn excited that she was visiting. But, my sister had a tendency to be a little over protective of her little brother. And the last thing I wanted was for Rosalie to show up and intimidate the shit out of Bella. Now, thanks to the big mouthed idiot sitting across from me, my entire family would know that she was coming to Seattle. That would mean Rosalie would want to meet her and my mother would want to have some sort of family function.

"She's got to interview some guy for the magazine she works for," I answered evasively. "We might get together while she's here. No big deal."

It was a damn lie and Rosalie knew it. She turned her chair so that it was facing me and then turned on her I'm-your-big-sister-and-I-know-what's-best-for-you charade. "Edward, do you know how many people are scammed by meeting someone off of the internet? What if this Bella, if that's even her name, is just out to get your money or something?"

I had to laugh at that. "I'm a teacher, Rosalie. It's not like I'm just rolling in the extra money I have stuffed away in my closet." She tried to speak over me, but I raised my voice. "I've known Bella since I was eighteen. If she was going to scam on me, it would have been when I was young and stupid."

"As opposed to now when you're old and stupid."

We both ignored Emmett's smartass comment.

"And what about Kate, Edward? You guys have seemed pretty in sync these past few weeks. I mean, you're on the same team at Boozers and-"

"And why can't you just be excited about the fact that maybe, just maybe, Bella will be the one person that I've been waiting for?"

"Edward, be serious. Do you really think this is how you'd meet the person you'll spend the rest of your life with?"

I looked at her for a second before nodding towards Emmett. "Did you really think that you would find your husband at a baseball field while watching your little brother coach? Or that he would be the same age as me?"

We'd all been shocked beyond belief when Rosalie had finally given in and taken Emmett up on his offer for a date. We were even more surprised when they showed up engaged two months later. But, here we were, four years later.

My sister gave her husband a small smile before turning her attention back to me. "Edward, I just don't want you to get hurt."

"Bella isn't like that, Rosalie." I reassured her, and maybe even myself. "Besides, who says that we will be anything other than the two friends that we've always been?"

Emmett gave a low laugh and shook his head. "If you don't end up falling head over heels in love with this girl by the end of the first night…" He stood up and gathered my plate up with his. "You're whipped and the chick doesn't even live here."

It wasn't like he had any room to talk about being "whipped". Rosalie had him wrapped around her little finger from the second she muttered hello to his ass. Plus, she'd been a huge bitch to him and he'd put up with and begged for more until she had agreed to go out with him.

"Well, will we at least get to see her?" My sister continued. "Mom and Dad will want to finally meet the infamous Bella."

Grinding my teeth together, I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know, Rosalie. I mean she's only here for a week. And she has to work while she's here."

I tried to make it seem like she would be too busy to deal with their nonsense, but in reality I didn't want to make this into a huge ordeal. It would be stressful enough on the two of us as it was. We didn't need to add in the whole "lets meet the family" thing.

I stood up from the table, offering to help Emmett with the dishes and hoping my sister would take the hint. She didn't. Rosalie just spun around in her chair and gave me the angelic smile that I knew better than to believe.

"You'll have to bring her around at some point in time, Edward. You're still in the league at Boozers and you can't just bail on us."

Emmett took the bowl from my hand before pointing at me with the scrub brush. "The woman has a point. We're in the top three. Don't be a jackass and screw us over."

And just like that, in less than ten minutes, the guilt tripping had already started.

XxXxXxXx

"So let me get this straight," I sat back in my chair and shook my head. "You've agreed to interview this guy, knowing that you would have to go sailing with him, even though you can't swim?"

Alice turned in her chair to look at Bella. "See, I'm not the only one that thinks you're an idiot."

I wouldn't ever call Bella an idiot, but I was severely concerned about the fact that she would be venturing out into the ocean without knowing how to swim. Surely the guy would at least put a life vest on her.

Bella shook off our comments. "But see, I'll be _in_ the boat. No need to know how to swim if you're not getting in the water. I took that cruise with my parents, remember, Edward? And I didn't drown."

I wanted to remind her that a cruise ship and a sail boat were completely different. But she'd only been in Seattle for forty-five minutes and it seemed a bit soon to be bombarding her with my concern for her drowning in the Pacific Ocean with some millionaire that was forcing her onto the damn boat to begin with. Besides, Alice seemed to be harassing her enough for the both of us.

I tried really hard not to smile like an idiot when she'd started explaining that the whole philosophy behind Bella even coming to Seattle had very little to do with the interview and a whole lot to do with me. I'd sat across the table from her and watched as her entire face lit up in a scarlet blush. It was one of the most adorable things I'd ever seen.

"Well, now that you've completely embarrassed me, please excuse me while I go hide in the bathroom." Bella gave me a small smile before pushing away from the table and leaving me alone with her friend.

I watched as she walked away, trying not to be too obvious, and found a frowning Alice when my attention was brought back to the table. I gave her a tentative smile, only to shift in my chair when she shook her head at me. "Um…"

Alice leaned closer to me, across the table. "Just so you know, Edward Cullen, I don't like you."

"What?" I started to laugh, thinking that she had to be joking, but stopped when her face remained serious. I sat up in my chair and faced her head on. "And why would you have any reason not to like me?"

"Bella has been my friend since we were both interns at the magazine together. Never, since I've known her, has she even blown off an assignment. She's always been professional, always on top of her responsibilities. Until now. She is completely unprepared for this interview, Edward. And it could end up costing her her job. And mine."

Granted, I didn't know Bella like Alice knew her, but I still considered myself someone that knew her character. "Bella wouldn't do that. She's very serious about her job."

"You don't have to tell me that," Alice snapped at me. "I'm just telling you that if you end up being a distraction this week, I _will_ make you regret it. This interview could end up being one of the best things that has ever happened to Bella. Don't fuck it up for her."

I opened my mouth to tell her exactly where she could shove the self-righteous attitude that she had, but stopped when I noticed Bella walking back to our table. Alice glanced over her shoulder and then turned backed to me.

With a fake smile, she whispered. "Don't forget what I said. Got it?"

I simply ignored her; instead, I stood up and pulled Bella's chair out for her. Once we were all seated again, I reached across the table and stole a piece of broccoli off of her plate. Bella playfully swatted at my hand, but I just caught hers in mine and smiled. "Can I ask you out on a date, Bella Swan?"

The blush came back full force, but she nodded her head. "When?"

I shrugged before squeezing her hand. "Tomorrow?"

"Bella, we have to-" Alice started to interrupt, but she was completely ignored.

"Pick me up at six," Bella nodded her head. "And don't be late."

I smiled and leaned back in my chair, ignoring the threatening looks from the girl sitting next to Bella. "It's a date."

**AN: Blah, Blah, Blah.**


	5. Kiss Quick

**Yada, yada, not mine.**

**Bella**

"Why the hell didn't I pack anything date appropriate?" I asked myself while digging through my suitcase. Alice was sitting at the desk behind me, prattling on about something to do with Jasper Whitlock's assistant but I wasn't really paying attention. I had managed to pack every "nice" thing I owned but nothing was going to work for tomorrow night. "Maybe I should just go buy something. Something like a little black dress… although it is freaking cold and-"

"Bella!"

I dropped the shoe I was holding and turned around to look at my friend. "What? Gees, Alice you don't have to yell at me."

I saw her jaw move, telling me that she was grinding her teeth together. "We have to meet Maria in twenty minutes! Twenty minutes, Bella! And instead of getting prepared to talk to her, you're worried about what you're going to wear on a date tomorrow night! You do remember that we have a job to do, right?"

She had a point, but that didn't mean that I wasn't annoyed. As my friend shouldn't she have understood how important this was to me? Shouldn't she have understood that I'd waited ten years for this? But instead of asking those questions, I slowly walked away from the suitcase and sat down across from her. "I know I have a job to do, Alice. And I will be completely prepared to interview Mr. Whitlock when the time comes."

"This is a huge interview, Bella."

I picked up her pen and nodded my head. "I know."

"And you can't just halfass this."

"Alice, I know."

"And-"

"I know!" Shaking my head in frustration, I pushed away from the desk and grabbed my coat and scarf. "In case you can't remember that far back, I got the same job you did. I graduated and busted my ass just the same as anyone else, Alice. I don't need you to remind me of how to do my job."

"Then maybe you should start acting like you actually give a damn."

Alice yanked her coat off the back of the chair and stormed out of my hotel room. I followed behind her but we both remained silent the entire way to Jasper Whitlock's office in downtown Seattle.

xXxXxXx

To be honest, I wasn't really sure what to expect when meeting Mr. Whitlock or any of his staff, but any preconceived ideas I had were completely blown away while we went over the details of the interview with his personal assistant.

When we had arrived at his office, I'd been expecting exactly that- an office. Instead we ended up in a cave of a room that looked like something out of prehistoric times. The walls were painted a muddy brown and were covered in primitive drawings. The only desk was made up of something similar to drift wood and huge fur rugs covered the floor. As annoyed as Alice and I were with each other, we both shared amused glances. If this was what his office looked like, I couldn't wait to actually meet Jasper Whitlock.

"Here are the terms and conditions of the interview. Page one,-" She trailed off in her thick Spanish accent while Alice and I followed along. It was all pretty straight forward until we got to the part that discussed the little sailing adventure that I would be going on.

I swallowed back my nervousness and focused on the booklet Maria had just handed me.

"This is a booklet for nautical terminology and it would be greatly appreciated if you would familiarize yourself with them before joining Mr. Whitlock on the _Arroyo_. Also, I have included a list of rules that must be strictly followed while on board."

"No shoes?" Alice skeptically asked as her eyes drifted down the list. "It is February. In Seattle. Does he just expect her to let her toes fall off from frost bite?"

Maria gave her a blank stare before turning back to me. "You are permitted to wear as many pairs of socks as you wish but no shoes are permitted."

Smiling a little uneasily I just nodded my head. "Looks like I'll be making a trip to find as many pairs of woolen socks as I can find." I laughed at my own joke but Maria just pushed a pen towards me.

"Please sign and date showing that you understand and agree to the terms of this interview."

I did what she asked and Alice mimicked me, signing her name as well.

Fifteen minutes later were in the backseat of a taxi.

"If this was just the preliminary meeting, I can't wait to see what happens when we do the pictures on Monday."

Alice nodded her head. "We've got to go find you some socks."

"And something for tomorrow night."

She sighed before shaking her head. "Okay, I admit that… you have every right to be excited, Bella. And honestly I'm happy for you. But… just promise me that after this… after the date that you'll focus on this interview. Okay?"

I turned in my seat to look at her. "Have I ever blown off an assignment? Why do you think that I would just -"

"You've never had Edward Cullen as a distraction with other assignments."

"Edward isn't a distract-"

"Are you two just going to sit in here and yammer away all day?"

I turned my glaring eyes away from Alice and focused them on the driver of the taxi. "Just take us to the closest mall."

The guy muttered something under his breath and pulled away from the curb. Alice and I didn't speak the entire drive.

xXxXxXx

To be perfectly honest, I didn't know why I even bothered buying a new dress. Underneath my coat, gloves, and scarf you couldn't really see anything I was wearing. As cold as it was, I doubted I would ever be warm enough to take off my coat. While I walked with Edward along the pier that lead to the restaurant he'd picked I was just thankful that I at least had on cute boots. Granted, I wasn't thrilled with the tights that made my legs itch, but at least what you _could_ see below the hem of my coat was fashionable.

Edward was perfectly adorable, wearing a button down dress shirt and black pants. I knew that he was more of a jeans a t-shirt kind of guy and the fact that he'd put in so much effort into tonight meant a lot.

As we walked, I smiled at his nervous chattering about baseball statistics and tried to let my hand casually brush against his. When our pinkies finally touched, I looked down to try and hide the blush that was covering my face. But Edward simply took my hand in his and kept walking, letting our entwined hands swing between us.

I was in the middle of explaining how utterly bizarre Mr. Whitlock's office had been when Edward came to stop. I turned back, smiling at our arms that were outstretched but still connected by our intertwined fingers. "Why did we stop?"

"Can I just… do something?"

I moved so that I was standing directly in front of him and shook my head. "What do you mean?"

Edward's eyes bore into mine for a second before his hands let go and his lips gently pressed against mine. I awkwardly stood there, wondering what the hell I was supposed to do, until it hit me that Edward was kissing me. His hands carefully cradled my face and I leaned forward, pressing my hands against his hard chest. And then there I was, kissing Edward Cullen. And it was freaking amazing.

Much too quickly, he pulled away from my lips and leaned his forehead against mine. I kept my eyes closed and smiled at the way his breath fell against my mouth.

After a second that seemed to last an eternity Edward whispered, "I've been thinking about doing that for over a decade."

I pulled against the front of his freshly pressed shirt, drawing him to me. "You don't have to stop now."

He gave me a quiet laugh before placing another chaste kiss on my bottom lip. "Actually, I do. Or we will be out here all night."

I wanted to tell him that that sounded perfectly marvelous to me, but he had put so much effort into tonight. So I nodded and slowly took a step backward, putting a small distance between the two of us while leaving one of my hands carefully resting against his chest.

Within seconds, Edward had taken a step closer and wrapped his arms fully around me. It didn't bother me that it had started to snow, or that we had missed our reservations for dinner. Standing there, enveloped in Edward's body, I didn't care about anything but the way his tongue tasted in my mouth. And that finally, I didn't have to wonder "what if" anymore.

This, now, with him… was what I wanted and needed.

**AN: So, I live in Texas. Most of you know that. And in case you hadn't heard; half of our state is on fire. A marvelous group of people are raising money through a fic drive to help out the people affected by the wild fires. I am going to do something, maybe more than one something, and need ideas. Are there any Stalking (yes I know you just want the next chapter already) or Groupie outtakes that ya'll would want? Send me your ideas and I will see what I can do!**


	6. Its All Fun and Games

**Not mine.**

**Edward**

I smiled, completely smitten, and watched Bella kneeling in front of the glass case trying to pick which donut she wanted. True, donuts and coffee didn't make a great dinner but she'd told me to take her to my favorite place in the city. And this was it.

"I just can't pick one, Edward."

I kneeled down next to her and smiled. "Then don't. Get however many you want."

"Yeah." She playfully hit her shoulder against mine. "Like I should give my ass anymore reason not to fit into my jeans."

I leaned back to take a look at exactly what she was talking about and laughed when Bella tried to look scandalized. I knew better. "I happen to like your hind parts, Miss Swan."

"Well thank you, Mr. Cullen but seriously, I can't pick. You chose. Surprise me."

With that, Bella gave me a quick kiss and left me kneeling on the floor while she found a booth towards the back of the shop. I smiled before standing up and ordering two of my favorite things that they offered; maple bars and hazelnut coffee.

I watched, with extreme pleasure, as Bella ate her maple bar. She made quiet moaning noises while telling me how delicious it was and I, being completely hormone driven, could only think about how I'd heard her make those noises before. And not because of donuts or coffee. I shifted in the booth and tried to think of something else and was thankfully distracted by my cell phone ringing.

"It's my brother-in-law," I muttered under my breath. "Sorry."

Bella smiled and stole a piece of my maple frosting. "Answer it. I don't mind."

Reluctantly, I did. "Hell-"

"EDWARD!" Emmett bellowed into the phone. "BOOZERS! NOW!"

I pulled the phone away from my ear and shook my head. "Emmett I'm busy tonight."

"Yeah," he kept yelling. "I know you're with Bella. Bring her with you. We need you."

I hung up, not even bothering with telling him goodbye.

Bella just gave me an amused look while sipping on her coffee. "What is Boozers?"

I sighed. "A bar. They… we've been going there since college and-" I was interrupted again by my phone ringing. "Emmett, I told you that-"

"We need you!" He yelled again. "You have all week to play footsie with Bella. Just come down here, help me kick some ass and then you can leave. Simple as that."

"Goodbye, Emmett." I hung up again.

"So," Bella tilted her head to the side. "You have something going on tonight?"

"Well, we kind of have a skeeball team and… I don't know. We're in the top three and Emmett—"

A look of complete seriousness covered Bella's face. "Did you say Skeeball?"

"Yeah," I laughed. "Why?"

"Oh my God!" She crawled out of the booth and moved to sit next to me. "I freaking love Skeeball! And how could you not tell me that you were on a team? I thought we told each other everything!"

"I didn't realize you were such a fanatic for arcade games."

Bella nodded before taking my last piece of maple bar and eating it. "When I was little my best friend's dad owned an arcade. I basically spent the summers perfecting my air hockey and skeeball skills."

"Oh really?" I asked, gently brushing a piece of icing off of the corner of her mouth. "So if I asked you to go with me and help kick my brother-in-law's ass, would you?"

Her cheeks blushed. "I thought that you were on the same team?"

"We are," I nodded. "But we always place individual bets to see which double can get the best score. My sister and Emmett cheat, somehow, and I've never been able to beat them."

"Hmm," Bella tapped her fingers against the lid of her coffee. "So you want to use me for my phenomenal skeeball skills?"

"Well that and I want to see Emmett's face when he gets beat by a girl. But, yeah. What do you say?"

I watched as Bella casually slid out of the booth and tightened the scarf around her neck. "Call your brother-in-law back and tell him to get his checkbook ready."

xXxXxXxXx

We walked into Boozers and I immediately regretted going.

"EDWARD!"

Bella spun around at the sound of Emmett yelling my name and busted out laughing when she read what was written across the chest of his shirt. "The Old Skeezers?" She asked me. "Who came up with that?"

"That would be me," Emmett answered, offering his hand. "Emmett McCarty, team captain, and brains of this operation. You must be _the_ Bella Swan."

"Guilty," she shrugged. "Nice to meet you."

Leaving me at the door, my brother-in-law threw his arm around Bella's shoulders and started leading her towards the table that everyone was sitting at. She looked back, giving me a nervous smile, but let Emmett lead her away. I shook my head before following.

When I joined them, Emmett was already making introductions.

"So, that's Ben and Angela and this lovely lady sitting right here is my old ball and chain and beautiful wife, Rosalie. Everyone this is-"

Bella interrupted him, sliding onto an empty barstool and smiling. "Hi, I'm the girl that Edward met on the internet. I'm not a serial killer. I don't secretly have a penis. And I promise I didn't come to Seattle to abduct Edward or steal his kidney while he's drugged and lying in a bathtub full of ice."

Emmett snorted while Ben and Angela laughed. But my sister just watched as I moved behind Bella and kissed the back of her head. "So, these are my friends. And sister."

"Nice to meet you guys, really." She reached across the table and shook Angela's hand.

Rosalie smiled a little before turning back to me. "You should go register yourself and Bella, Edward. I'd hate for them to think that you're here playing with Kate. That would be awkward."

The table went silent before Emmett accidently choked on a mouthful of beer. I turned to look at my sister, wanting to tell her to take her pretentious attitude and shove it up her ass. But I was stopped by Bella jumping off the barstool and saying, "I'll do it. I have to run to the restroom anyway."

Once she'd left the table, I slid off my coat and sat down. "Thanks Rosalie, way to make this uncomfortable for everyone."

She tried to fain innocence. "I just didn't want her to be called the wrong name, Edward. Lighten up."

I knew better. "I told you to drop the whole Kate thing."

"Well I'm sorry that I don't agree with my brother whoring himself around!" She whispered harshly. "Kate is a nice girl, Edward! And you just dropped her for a chance to have some long distance booty call with a random girl you met on the internet!"

Everyone else at the table tried to act like they weren't wrapped up in our little family drama but I knew they were all listening to what Rosalie was saying.

"What are you going to do when Bella leaves? Is it really worth throwing away something that could be a meaningful relationship?"

When Rosalie reached over to touch my arm, I shook my head and pulled away from her. Thankfully, Emmett took over the role of distracting everyone and I just stared at the black Formica table top.

Kate wasn't… anything but a friend. Sure, we had both sort of ventured away from the "friend zone" a few times, but she wasn't…Bella. We both had agreed to keep it casual and my sister just needed to mind her own fucking business.

"Do you think she fell in?"

Looking up, I gave Emmett a confused look. "What?"

"Bella's been gone for like fifteen minutes. Should we send in a search and rescue team?"

I turned around, looking towards the women's bathroom, realizing I'd zoned out while fuming over my sister's meddling habits. When I didn't see Bella coming or going out of the restroom, I stood up. "I'll go find her."

Moving through the crowded bar, I kept an eye out for Bella and found her punching keys on the juke box. I smiled before moving to stand behind her and gently held on to her waist. "Thought I'd lost you."

Bella spun around, smiling and shaking her head. "Nope, just making sure that we have a delectable arrangement of musical goodness to enjoy while kicking your sister's ass at skeeball."

The Commodores started blaring out of the overhead speakers and I smiled. "Nice choice."

"She's a brick," Bella moved her head along with the music, "houuuuuse."

I laughed before taking her hand and heading back to the table. When we arrived, she carefully removed her scarf and smiled at Emmett. "So I hear you like to make things interesting with a friendly wager or two."

Rosalie smiled and moved closer to her husband. "You mean Edward constantly losing his ass to us? I'm pretty sure he still owes me fifty bucks."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever. You cheat and you know it."

"Dude," Emmett laughed. "How the hell can you cheat at skeeball?"

"Well," Bella spoke over my response. "I would like to place a wager on the table. Best two out of three and the loser pays the bar tab tonight. Deal?" She held out a hand, smiling innocently.

Emmett shook it and nodded towards me. "Get your trust fund ready, buddy. I'm feeling awfully thirsty tonight."

Ignoring the whole thing, Bella unbuttoned her coat, slowly slid it off of her arms and then carefully laid it over the seat of her stool. "Ding, ding, round one."

With that, she spun on her heel and made a beeline for the skeeball table. I just swallowed, watching the way her ass looked in the dress, and then smiled. Emmett muttered something under his breath but I ignored him and went to join Bella at the tables.

"So really," she quietly asked me. "How good are you?"

I shrugged before typing our code into the machine and watching the balls fall into the slot. "I'm pretty decent, why?"

Bella picked up her first ball and smiled. "Because I just dropped a hundred and fifty bucks on the jukebox and ordered a bottle of Patron. Emmett and your sister are either paying my bar tab or we're staying late to wash dishes."

She pushed the sleeves on her dress up to her elbows and rolled her first ball, hitting a hundred.

"Did you just get lucky?" I asked, watching as she rolled another ball, hitting a hundred again.

Bella shook her head and carefully took her third ball. "Nope, but you might. Later on."

She bowled another hundred and then flagged down the waitress with her expensive bottle of tequila. After pouring two shots out, Bella handed me a glass and smiled. "To getting lucky?"

I gently tapped my glass against hers and smiled. "About fucking time."

We both downed our shots and then Bella rolled another hundred, bowling a perfect game.

I was getting lucky.

**AN: So… yeah. What did everyone think about the trailer? Also, Stalking will be updated this week. Try to contain your excitement. lol**


	7. Tequila makes you

**Not mine.**

**Bella**

"Who the fuck _are_ you?"

I laughed at Emmett's question before throwing my arms up in victory. "I'm the chick that is kicking your ass!" After bowling another perfect six hundred game.

I took a bow of appreciation while Edward clapped. "Nicely done."

"Thank you," I sat down next to him. "Don't let me down. Keep the streak alive!"

He gracefully slid off of his stool while running his fingers across the back of my hand. I told myself not to blush but it didn't do any good. He just gave me the signature Edward Cullen smirk before walking away. All night he'd been doing small things that he knew would make blush and I was beginning to think he was doing it on purpose. I kinda liked it.

"You're here interviewing Jasper Whitlock, right?"

I nodded at Rosalie's question before taking another shot of the stupidly expensive tequila I'd ordered. It was rude of me to do it, knowing Edward's sister would be paying for it, but she'd pissed me off and frankly I needed something to take the edge off.

Since I'd known Edward he had never hesitated to tell me when he had started dating someone. I hadn't heard him talk about someone named Kate, and I couldn't ever remember him telling me that he was currently dating. Maybe his sister was just making something out of nothing, and I probably shouldn't have put that much thought into it, but the fact that there was someone named Kate, and that Edward hadn't ever mentioned her, made me nervous. Kissing Edward was one thing but if this ended up going further, I didn't want to find out that I'd slept with another girl's boyfriend. No matter who he was.

Rosalie watched me throw back the liquor I'd poured before continuing our one sided conversation. "He's donated quite a lot of money to the hospital. Without his contributions I seriously doubt we would have been able to get the new MRI equipment for the ER."

Pouring another shot, I asked, "You work at the hospital?"

Rosalie smiled before tossing her blonde hair over her shoulder. "Edward must not have told you. I took after our father and went to medical school."

Annoying and pretentious. What wonderful qualities to have.

"We actually don't talk about family much." I said in a monotone voice, hoping she would get the picture.

She didn't.

"And what _have_ you talked about, Bella? After all these years, over the phone and internet, I'm surprised you actually have anything left to say to each other."

Wobbling a little while getting off of my stool, I turned back to look at Edward's sister. "Well to be honest Rosalie there wasn't a lot of time for idle chit-chat. What with all of the phone sex… you know?"

I left his sister sitting at the table looking like someone had just slapped her across the face, and joined Edward at the skeeball table.

"I think I pissed off your sister."

He laughed and turned to look over his shoulder at her. Sure enough she looked livid. Edward shook his head before asking, "And how did you do that?"

I waited, watching while Emmett got ready to bowl his next turn, before answering. When I did, I made sure my voice was loud enough for him to hear me. "Oh, you know. I just told her about all of the phone sex we'd been having."

Emmett's ball went flying down the table, hitting the rebound board, and then ricocheting onto the table next to him.

Edward barked out a laugh, asking me how drunk I was.

"Only a little." I leaned into him, swaying a little. "Are you upset that I made her mad?"

Edward smiled before kissing me. "Nope."

xXxXxXx

I wasn't really sure what I had expected to happen at the end of our date. Okay, that's a lie. I knew I would end up at Edward's apartment. I knew I would be pushed back against the doorway, kissing and groping, while he tried to unlock it. But what I hadn't known was that I would feel this guilty while doing it.

Once the door was finally opened, I tumbled backwards into his apartment; holding on to his shoulder's to keep me from hitting the ground. Edward dropped his keys on the floor and kicked the door shut behind us, all the while managing to keep me pressed up against his body and his tongue in my mouth. He was a very talented man.

We bounced off of the wall, off of the couch, and eventually fell against another doorway. I regretfully had to pull my mouth away from Edward's, but only so I could take a much needed gulp of air.

"God," Edward groaned, letting his lips move down my jaw and then to my neck. "You are so fucking perfect, Bella."

I leaned my head back, smiling a lazy smile, and telling my subconscious to shut the hell up. An annoying little voice had popped into my head, asking me if I really wanted my first time with Edward to be a drunken haze. I tried to ignore it, telling myself that I just wanted to feel him, right now. I didn't care what I would or wouldn't remember in the morning.

My subconscious and my heart knew that was a lie.

When Edward's hands slid up the back of my dress and over my ass, I stupidly whispered, "I wish I was going to remember this tomorrow."

Lips stopped. Hands stopped. Edward stopped.

Instantly, I started protesting. "No!" I whined. "What are you doing?"

Edward slowly took a step away from me and sighed. "I can't do this with you… not like this."

"Are you kidding?"I asked him. "We've… but… I'm _here_!"

"I know."

"And I'm… I want this, Edward! I'm ready and-"

"I know."

I slid down the door that I guessed led into his bedroom, and semi-cried when my ass hit the floor. "But… what if we never get another chance for this?"

He groaned before lacing his fingers together and placing his hands behind his neck. After a drawn out second, he gave me an answer.

"I'm not going to take advantage of you, Bella. I want this, you know I do, but I'm not doing it like this. I would rather face the chance of us never… letting this happen than have to deal with the fact that we had done it when both of us were drunk."

"And I don't get an opinion?" I asked, looking up at him from the floor. "What about what I want?"

Edward slowly sat down on the floor in front of me and smiled, sadly. "What do you want, Bella?"

I looked up at him, getting lost in the green that stared back at me and gave him an honest answer. "I just want you. Since I was eighteen… that's what I've wanted."

It was stupid to start crying, because honestly, what did I have to cry about? But the realization, that after all of these years, we were both finally together and there would be nothing more than this was heart breaking. I pulled the sleeves of my dress over my hands and shook my head before covering my face with them.

"Bella, don't."

Edward pulled me into his lap but I just cried harder. "I'm drunk."

He let out a small laugh before kissing the top of my head. "I know."

"And I really thought we would have sex tonight," I sniffled. "And I even got sexy underwear yesterday because I thought that you would be seeing them and now… now I just want to… sleep."

Maybe the skeeball had worn me out. Or maybe I was just a lot more intoxicated than I thought. Either way, I was suddenly exhausted and all I could do was lean against Edward's chest and cry because I wasn't getting laid. God, I was pathetic.

I felt the room move. Or maybe it was just me moving. Either way, I held on tighter to Edward's shoulders and closed my eyes. When the movement stopped, I tried to open my eyes but found it incredibly difficult to do so.

"Shh," Edward whispered. "Just sleep."

Reluctantly, I did.

xXxXxXx

I had to have been asleep; at least I thought I was until an obnoxiously offensive noise scared the ever loving shit out of me.

I frantically sat up, regretting it. My head felt like someone had cleaved it in half and my stomach felt like it was trying to escape through my mouth. I carefully lay back down, listening while someone tried to turn off the annoying alarm.

Oh my God.

Sitting up again, I turned to find Edward Cullen's hand fumbling with the telephone.

I was at Edward's apartment? I'd _slept_ at Edward's apartment? Oh my…

"Did we…" I lifted up the blankets and sighed when I saw I was still wearing my tights, and panties. "What the hell did I do last night?"

Edward just laughed for second. "You got really drunk. We _both_ got really drunk."

For a second I thought about what had happened last night and then I groaned. That was until something small, fussy, and hissing jumped onto my lap. Then I screamed.

"What the hell is… You have a cat?" Edward totally didn't seem like the type of guy who would have a cat.

He laughed before taking the animal and dropping it back on the floor. "I'm watching her for a friend. Do you want something for breakfast?"

I slowly shook my head before sliding back into his bed and under the covers. "The thought of food makes me want to hurl and I don't think that is something you should see."

Edward started to get out of bed but I stopped him. "Where are you going?"

He kissed the back of my hand. "It's Monday. I have school."

"Oh, shit!" I threw the blankets off of me, scaring the stupid cat in the process, and got out of bed. "It's Monday!"

"Yeah," Edward answered cautiously.

"What time is it?" I started groping around the floor looking for my boots.

And dress.

Wait.

I stopped and looked down at my nearly naked body. "You took off my dress?"

"It is seven thirty," Edward sat back against the headboard, watching me. "And yes, I thought you would be more comfortable that way. And I wanted to see the underwear you had mentioned. I approve by the way."

I ignored the blush crawling up my chest and kicked the cat away from my cashmere sweater dress. "Well, if it wasn't for the fact that I am supposed to be meeting Jasper Whitlock in thirty minutes, I would be completely embarrassed and say something to make myself look like an idiot."

He just laughed before asking if he would see me later.

While hopping on one foot and zipping up my boot, I smiled. "You want to?"

"Well, yeah." Edward crawled to edge of the bed and carefully took my hand, pulling me to him. "I have a scrimmage tonight and I would really like it if you came."

I frowned. "It's Feburary."

"Uh, yeah. I know."

"How do you play baseball in the snow?"

Again, Edward laughed at me. "We're used to it, I promise. And besides, it's supposed to be pretty nice today. No snow."

By nice he meant not freezing.

"What time is this scrimmage at?" I asked, playing with his fingers that were still holding onto my hands.

"Five o'clock."

I nodded, letting him pull me to him.

After agreeing that I would try to make it to his game, I leaned forward, letting my lips gently kiss his. Edward held me to him, making it incredibly hard to pull away from him.

"Have a good day," he whispered, kissing me again.

Reluctantly I pulled away, thinking that I would love to start every day this way. And it was then that it hit me. Leaving Seattle was going to be a lot harder than I had originally thought. I wanted to stay.

**AN: Sup, guys?**


	8. Realization

**Not mine.**

**Edward**

I tried to appear totally calm and collected while Bella struggled to find the right gear and back out of my parking space. But the more she ground the gears together, the more my face looked like I was being beaten.

"You've driven a stick before, right?" I asked, hoping to sound nonchalant.

She nodded, finally finding reverse. "It's been a few years but yeah. Why? Having doubts about lending me your car?"

The truth was yes, but I also knew that Bella was running late and needed to get to the Whitlock estate as soon as possible. So I just ran my hands over my thighs and shook my head. "Nope. I trust you."

Bella laughed before pulling out into traffic. "You're a horrible liar, Edward."

She drove like a bat out of hell, following the directions I gave her, and less than ten minutes later we had reached the school. She'd pulled into the faculty parking lot and the breaks squealed while the tires slid to a stop on the wet asphalt. Slowly, I unbuckled my seatbelt, praying for the life of my car.

Handing me my bag out of the back seat, Bella said, "Have a wonderful day, darling."

I smiled at her playful tone of voice but leaned across the console and kissed her. "You too."

The kiss lingered a little longer than it should have, which I didn't mind. What I did mind was Emmett opening the back door and sticking his head inside. "Well, look what we have here!"

We both winced at how fucking loud he was being.

"Are we a little hung over this morning?"

Bella just shook her head and smiled, refusing to give him any sort of satisfaction. "Nope. Just reliving the victory of kicking your ass last night."

Emmett smiled. "Well, you got lucky kid. There is no way that would happen again."

"As much as I would love to argue with that little fantasy of yours, I have to go." Bella gave me another quick kiss before waving Emmett away. "Have a nice day, boys! Make lots of friends! Don't talk to strangers!"

I got out of the car and basically had to yank Emmett out of the back seat. After telling her goodbye, Bella sped out of the parking lot, leaving me standing next to a smug and entirely too pleased with himself Emmett.

"Oh," Emmett said, letting his voice sound like an excited teenage girl.

"Don't even say it, Jackass." I walked away, leaving him standing there. It didn't matter because the big oaf just caught up with me. "Fine. Just get it over with. What? What do you have to say?"

"I knew it!" He laughed. "Not even a day and you're eating out of that girl's hand! Rosalie owes me ten bucks! Speaking of which, she's super pissed and not exactly a fan of the Bella."

I shrugged my shoulders, before opening the faculty door. "I could really care less, Emmett. She was a complete bitch for no reason."

"And Bella handled it like a pro," he admitted, following me up the stairs. "Which is why I won't get in the middle of their drama. Bella can handle herself. But I did promise your sister that I would tell you that she's just worried about you, Edward. Rosalie loves you, and you know that."

"Then shouldn't she be happy that I'm happy? That I'm happy with Bella?" I opened the door to my classroom before turning to look at my brother-in-law. "Why is it any of her business who I am with anyway? I wasn't asked for an opinion when she started dating you."

Emmett leaned against the door frame, shrugging."I live here Edward. And you knew me. Bella lives in an entirely different state. From a friend and family point of view, we are all worried about how this is going to end when she goes back to Arizona. Your sister is the one that put you back together after Victoria left. She just doesn't want to see you hurt like that again. None of us do."

Placing both of my hands flat on my desk, I sighed and leaned forward. "Bella isn't Victoria, Emmett."

"Yeah," he walked into the room and patted my back. "But your sister doesn't know that. She doesn't know Bella. All she does know is that you've given this girl your heart and soul. Rosalie just doesn't want you to end up emotionally bankrupt and heartbroken again."

"Emmett, it isn't like that. I haven't-"

"Don't try to tell me you haven't, Edward. You love Bella and you know it."

I didn't have a response to that. How could I? Obviously I cared for Bella, I always had. But did I love her? Was that what this was? I really didn't have anything to compare it to. My only other "meaningful" relationship had been with Victoria and that really wasn't a great example of what love was.

He squeezed my shoulder as the bell for the first class rang and left me standing in an empty classroom. I had a few minutes to try and pull my thoughts together before the students started filing into my room. Shaking my head, I found my notes for the lesson and headed towards the podium, watching as they took their seats.

"Alright," I said roughly, letting them know it was time to get started. "Turn to page three hundred and ninety four." BRILLIANT.

I was able to bullshit my way through a lecture about equations and fractions before giving the kids thirty minutes to work on their homework. While they did, I sat at my desk and tried not to think about the stark comparison that Rosalie had made between Bella and Victoria. While Bella had always been this warm, caring, and giving individual, Victoria had just been… one horrible mistake.

At twenty-one I had no idea what love was. All I had known was that I was in college, my parents were four hours away, and some gorgeous red head in my physics class was hitting on me. So we had started dating, casual in the beginning, but then becoming more serious as time went on. I'd listened, without really paying attention, while my father had warned me about being careful when having physical relationships. In my mind if I'd used a condom or the girl told me she was on birth control, then that was good enough. Or at least I had thought that until I'd found out that Victoria was pregnant.

At first, like any other kid my age, I panicked. When she'd stood there and told me, the only thing I could think about was myself. I'd lose my scholarship and have to stop playing baseball. I'd have to drop out of school. I'd have to tell my parents. That lasted all of an hour before I had to remind myself that this wasn't just about me anymore. And it wasn't just about Victoria. Together, we were both going to be responsible for a child.

We'd both agreed to keep the baby and try to make the best of the situation we had found ourselves in. I'd found us an apartment, gotten two part time jobs, and had really thought that we could make it work. Granted it wasn't perfect, and my parents were disappointed, but we had made the right choice. Or so I'd thought until Victoria met Riley.

It had started out with her working late, then not coming home at all. The next thing I knew, I'd been greeted with an empty apartment and a letter telling me that she'd aborted the baby and left. For good. After that, I had spent the next year mourning something that hadn't ever even existed. And it was during that time that I really started to understand what a great friend Bella had become. She listened when I needed her to, talked when I needed the silence broken, and made me realize that I would eventually be okay. I would live again. I would trust again. I would love again.

And she was right.

So was Emmett.

I loved Bella. I had loved her for a while. And that scared the shit out of me.

**AN: I hate Mondays.**


	9. Batter Up

**Not mine. And I am sorry that this chapter took FOR-FREAKING-EVER for me to write.**

**Bella**

Shit. Shit. Double shit!

As I drove through Seattle, trying not send Edward's car into a tailspin, I looked through the menagerie of crap that Edward had in his back seat. Baseballs, a bat, math books, papers that needed to be graded… definitely nothing that would help with my current wardrobe situation.

Obviously Alice would know that I hadn't made it back to the hotel. But she didn't have to know that I'd woken up late in a drunken stupor. So, taking a chance, I pulled into a gas station and popped the trunk. Thankfully, I found something that would work. A discarded dress shirt.

In the front seat of Edward's car, I slipped out of what I had on, left on the tights and boots, made his wrinkled shirt into something that resembled a dress, and threw the car back into drive. While following the directions on my phone, I ignored Alice's continued text messages and tried to fix my hair while applying the bare minimum make up I had shoved in my purse. Once I'd finally found the drive that lead to Jasper Whitlock's estate, I took a deep breath and tried to remind myself that I could do this. It was just pictures, just an initial meeting. It would be fine. Or at least that's what I'd thought until I saw Alice and Eric, our photographer, standing on the walk, waiting for me.

"Aw, hell." I sighed before parking the car, shoving a piece of gum in my mouth, and slowly getting out.

"Do you know what time it is?" She asked, harshly. "Where have you… Are you wearing Edward's shirt? As a dress?"

I ignored her questions. "Hi, Eric! We ready? I can't wait to see what you've got planned for this shoot."

"Isabella Swan!"

Again, I ignored her and started my attempt at talking my way out of this mess. "So, it turns out that Edward's sister works for a hospital that Whitlock donated to. I met her for coffee this morning and interviewed her. You know, from a recipient's perspective."

I was sure that Alice was on the verge of calling me on my bullshit lie, but as a wonderful distraction, out walked one Mr. Jasper Whitlock, looking like… well… an Indian. Although it had to be at least 40 degrees outside, there he stood in a pair of tan leather pants, bare foot, with tribal designs painted on his naked torso. I coughed to cover up my laughter and the nearly choked on my gum.

"Miss Swan? Miss Brandon?" He leaned against the front door, smiling and looking between the two of us. "I'm told that the two of you are here to take my picture." He looked at Eric, nodding towards his camera.

"Uh," I swallowed several times before finally being able to speak. "Ye-yes sir. I um… I'm Bella Swan and this… is my-uh-coworker, Alice Brandon, and Eric Yorkie, our photographer."

He held his hand out for mine, and then Alice's, but I noticed that she wouldn't shake his hand. Instead, she stood there, mouth hanging open, staring at the strange man in front of her. I cleared my throat before slyly elbowing her arm.

"I'm… Alice." Dumbly, she held her hand out and shook Jasper's. "Alice Brandon."

He smiled, a very attractive smile, before kissing her knuckles. "Welcome to Rancho De Whitlock. I am, Jasper, which I am sure you'd already figured out." After an awkward moment of silence, he just clapped his hands together and turned to Eric. "Are you ready to do this? I had some ideas, thinking we could use the teepee I have out back."

I learned a lot about Jasper Whitlock during that photo shoot. One, that he had a mildly obsessive interest with Indians. Two, that instead of living in his house that was amazingly spectacular, he chose to live in an honest to God tepee. He had shown us through his house, which could probably be described as a Victorian mansion, that held nothing but an array of random collections; comic books, presidential campaign paraphernalia, plastic indian and cowboy toys, and an entire room filled with trains. Each room held different collectables but no furniture. Instead, you walked out of the back doors and found a huge, authentic, teepee. Inside was a fire pit, a bearskin sleeping palate, and wooden rustic furniture.

Alice gave me a strange look before asking, "Do you mind me asking what the deal is with Indians?"

Jasper shook his head before smiling. "I was obsessed with them as a kid. Back home, I was only a few hours away from Oklahoma, and had an aunt that lived on one of the reservations out there. I just find the history… fascinating. And even now, I feel like there should be more awareness about their culture and traditions."

"Hence the reason for wanting to do the photo shoots dressed as an Indian," Alice nodded. "I get it."

"Well, that and the last thing I want is another picture of me dressed in some damn suit. That isn't who I am, never has been."

Like I said, I learned a lot about Jasper Whitlock. He was a strange man, who seemed to have a heart the size of Texas, and couldn't take his eyes off of my best friend. Which is why, when he had asked us to dinner, I explained that I had plans to continue an interview with Edward's sister and volunteered Alice to join him. Alone.

"I can't go to dinner with him!" She shrieked while walking back to our cars. "I don't know anything about him, Bella! What if he ends up being some… some… weirdo!"

I was about to point out that he was in fact a weirdo, the indian get up and tepee had settled that, but I just smiled and opened the door to her rental car. "Alice, Whitlock isn't going to tie you up and torture you. Unless that's something you want…. I'm sure he has a lasso somewhere."

My best friend just glared at me. "I came for moral support, Bella. Not to go on a date with him!"

"It isn't a date, Alice. Its dinner. And maybe you can get some info out of him. I am meeting with Edward's sister tonight to get more details about the donations he's made to the hospital."

While she got in car I was sure I heard her mutter something that sounded a lot like "bullshit" but I just smiled and promised to meet her at the hotel. Alice rolled her eyes and shut the door, ignoring me while I waved at her.

xXxXxXx

After a shower, a nap, and a few hours of researching Whitlock's charities with Alice, I started getting ready for Edward's baseball game. Since I'd left my sweatshirts at home, I settled for a sweater and jeans, not that it mattered because it was all covered up again by my coat. In Edward's car I found a baseball cap that had the logo of the high school he coached for, so I pulled it on to my head, and tightened the scarf around my neck before heading into the baseball stadium. I paid ten bucks for my ticket, three dollars for the biggest hot chocolate they had, and fifty cents for a bag of peanuts.

As I was making my way to my seat, counting the rows as I went, I was surprised when a hand grabbed on to my arm.

"Bella?"

I smiled at Angela, hardly remembering much of her or her husband, but was happy to see a familiar face none the less. "Hi!"

"Edward told Ben you were coming," she looped her arm between mine. "You should come sit with us, we're behind the dugout!"

Angela dragged me away, not giving me a chance to tell her that I was perfectly fine with my assigned seat, and before I knew it I was shoved into a chair and surrounded by women wearing matching "coach's wife" sweat shirts. They all shoved their hands in my directions, giving me knowing looks when I explained that I was there to see Edward, and then continued on with their endless chatter. I took a sip of hot chocolate, pulled Edward's cap farther down on my head, and prayed that these women would shut the hell up by the time the game started.

As the kids warmed up, the wives discussed high school baseball politics, and people filled the stadium, I watched Edward working with two of the team's pitchers. Actually, I focused more on the way his rear end looked in the baseball pants he had on, but it was nice to see him interacting with the kids he coached. It was endearing to say the least.

"You will not believe how ridiculous traffic was!" Rosalie, the opposite of endearing, plopped down in the seat next to mine and sighed. While she dug through an enormous bag that she probably considered a purse, she nearly made me spill my hot chocolate, crushed my peanuts, and just invaded my personal space in general. I leaned away from her, resting my elbow on the arm rest, and thanked God for an aisle seat. "I'm surprised you made it, Bella. I figured you'd be stuck in bed with a hangover today."

I just smiled, wanting to give her another sarcastic remark, but just shook my head instead. I really was interested in getting her point of view on Jasper Whitlock. And being a bitch probably wasn't the greatest way of getting her to agree to an interview. "Nope, fit as a fiddle."

She gave me a brief look, as if she knew that that wasn't what I wanted to say at all, and then turned to talk to one of the other wives.

Through the rest of the warm up and national anthem, I played with the plastic lid on my cup, and smiled at Edward's "covert" glances in my direction. He thought he was so sly, looking over the top of one of the player's heads, but I just smiled and watched as he tried not to grin. When the team headed for the dugout, ready to start the game, I gave Edward a small wave and smiled when he just blushed and ducked his head.

I sat through the game, trying to focus on the actual plays instead of the endless chatter of the women around me. As nice as they all were, I never wanted to watch another game with them again. I preferred to actually pay attention to what was happening on the field as opposed to discussing the politics of high school sports and the drama that came along with being a coach's wife.

After the game I watched as players filed out of the locker room, hugging their parents and girlfriends, and leaned against the cinderblock wall, waiting for Edward. It was while I was waiting, that his sister decided to join me.

"I'm sure it means a lot to Edward that you came tonight," she said, straightening the gloves on her hand. "For as long as he's been a coach here, that seat you sat in has stayed empty. Unless you count the times that our mother has come to see the games."

"It was fun, getting to see him coaching. I've always heard him talking about how much he enjoyed playing in college and coaching now… I'm glad I got to come."

Rosalie nodded, and the two of us were quiet for a moment. Then, without warning, she dropped the friendly pretenses and just asked me what she was thinking.

"Are you going to screw over my brother, Bella?

"What?" I shook my head. "Why would you even ask me that?"

"Edward is my little brother. It's my job to protect him."

"Well I have no intentions of hurting him, Rosalie. I care about Edward; he's one of my best friends."

"Someone else told me the exact same thing, Bella. When I asked if she really liked my brother, she looked me straight in the eyes and told me she loved him. And then… then… she just…"

As annoying as she was, it was obvious how upset the mention of Victoria made Rosalie. And that made me a little appreciative of Edward's sister.

"What Victoria did was… cruel, Rosalie. I would never, ever, treat him like that."

"You know about that?" She quietly asked me.

I nodded before looking down at the ground. "You forget that I've been friends with your brother since we were eighteen. I was there… well, figuratively, I was there for all of it. When he found out that she was…" I sighed and then looked back up at Edward's sister. "There were a lot of sleepless nights spent on the phone with your brother while he mourned the loss of…"

I didn't finish the sentence. I didn't have to. Rosalie knew exactly what I was talking about.

"I never want to see him like that again, Bella. Ever. And if that means that I have to be a bitch to every girl that he dates then I will. It isn't anything personal."

Nodding, I shrugged my shoulders. "Well, you can join the club. I've been suspicious of any girl he mentions."

For a minute neither one of us said anything. Rosalie sized me up, deciding on if she could trust me. And I stood there letting her see that I wasn't anything like Victoria.

When the doors to the locker room opened again, and Emmett's boisterous laughter filled the night air, Rosalie just nodded her head before pushing away from the wall and going to join her husband. But before she got out of earshot, she turned around and looked back at me.

"I like you," she said, smiling. "But I meant what I said. If you hurt my brother, I'll make sure that you'll regret it."

I nodded. "If I hurt Edward, I give you permission to follow through with that."

As Rosalie walked away, she mumbled something to her brother, who had followed Emmett out of the locker room. He stopped, just for a second to give her a confused look, and then made his way towards me.

"Go Tigers," I said when he got close enough to hear me.

Edward smiled, nodding towards me. "I like seeing that hat on you."

"Hmm." I pulled at the front of his sweatshirt. "Too bad you weren't around earlier today. I had to use one of your shirts as a dress."

He laughed. "You did?" I nodded and smiled as Edward leaned down to kiss me. "I'm sorry I missed that."

I was on the verge of sliding my tongue into his mouth when some punk ass kid interrupted us.

"Hey!" He yelled, laughing. "Coach Cullen's got game!"

**AN: Sex next. Maybe? I dunno. Does Coach C have that much game?**


	10. Between Us, Kind Of

**Not mine.**

"Hey."

"Edward?" Bella asked, yawning. "What… what time is it?"

"Like two or something."

It took a second for her to become semi-coherent and then the questions set in. "What was with your text message? And why wouldn't you answer your phone tonight?" You could have at least sent me a-"

"Who the hell is Ethan?" I interrupted her.

"What?"

"When I called you earlier a guy named Ethan answered. Who is he?"

"He is my boyfriend's roommate."

I stopped walking and my heart fell to the pit of my stomach. "Didn't know you had a boyfriend," I said quietly.

"What?" Bella asked, sounding frustrated and tired. "Ethan is my roommate's boyfriend."

I couldn't help but laugh as I walked up the stairs to our apartment two at a time. "How much have you had to drink?"

"Why are you so interested in my relationship status?" She asked, instead of answering. "Why all of a sudden do you get jealous because some guy answered my cell phone?"

Once inside, I kicked off my shoes, dropped my jacket on the couch, and headed for my bedroom. "I'm not jealous, Bella."

"Oh really?" She laughed. "Then what would you call it?"

"I just found it odd that some random guy answered your phone. That's it."

Bella got quiet after another minute of mocking my "jealousy", too quiet actually, and I was starting to think that she'd fallen asleep. Normally, I would have hung up, but tonight the sound of her breathing on the other end of the phone was as close to comfort as I could get.

Slipping out of my jeans, I got beneath the blankets on my bed, and closed my eyes. I lay there, just listening to her, but then a jolt went through my body when she spoke again.

"When are you going to admit that you're in love with, Edward?"

**AN: Dear lovely readers, please do not hate me. But this is an outtake for the Fandom4Texas fic drive! If you want to read the rest, which I know you do, then please head to their website and donate $5! All proceeds will benefit those affected by the Texas wildfires!- JFI**


	11. Trust Me

**Not mine, ever.**

**Edward**

"So, you feeling okay? You look a little feverish."

Before pulling my sweatshirt on I gave Ben a confused glance. Once my head was through the opening, I pulled at the neck of it and shook my head. "What are you talking about? I feel fine."

"Are you sure?" Emmett tossed his dirty towel into the hamper and continued to stand there, stark ass naked. "I'm pretty sure we all saw you puking up your toenails in the bathroom. Might be a twenty-four to forty-eight hour thing. You know?"

"Number one, put some fucking clothes on. No one wants to see that. And number two, I'm fine."

Emmett made some comment about my sister, which I ignored, and then proceeded to put his clothes back on. "Since you're too damn stupid to take the hint, we are telling you to take a fucking sick day tomorrow and spend it with Bella. Hell, take two sick days!"

I hadn't ever really considered taking time off while Bella was here. I figured she would be working during the days… not to mention that our principal was a Nazi when it came to unexpected time off.

After he was dressed, Emmett shut the door to my locker and smiled. "Listen to me. Take the sick days and spend them with Bella. We'll cover for you if Mrs. Cope starts asking questions. Okay?"

"You know, sometimes, when you're not purposefully being an asshole, you're an alright guy, Emmett."

He laughed before pushing open the doors that lead outside. "Don't tell anyone. I have a reputation to uphold."

I followed after him and immediately found Bella leaning against the wall talking to my sister. She said something that made Rosalie stop and look back at her, which made me a little worried. But then Rosalie turned back towards me, smiling.

Before she walked by me, she grabbed my arm. "Don't mess this one up, okay? I like her. So far."

I was going to ask her what the hell she was talking about but Rosalie just squeezed my arm and walked away to find Emmett. I gave her a brief glance before turning back to find Bella, leaning against the wall, smiling.

When I got close enough, she gave me a sarcastic fist pump. "Go Tigers!"

I couldn't help but smile. "I like seeing that hat on you."

Bella said something about wearing my shirt as a dress and I completely distracted by the mental image that that left me. Who the hell knows why, but a girl wearing a guy's shirt… or any article of clothing, was fucking hot. So when she grabbed the front of my sweatshirt and pulled me to her, I didn't put up a fight. My hands, which had been resting on her back, were making their way to her ass when one of my players interrupted us.

"Hey! Coach Cullen's got game!"

Bella slowly pulled her mouth away from mine and tried to hide behind my shoulders when I turned around.

Paul, our first baseman, stood with his friends laughing at the fact that he had just caught his teacher making out with someone under the bleachers. How fucking hilarious. "What time is it, Paul?"

He shrugged before looking at his watch. "Nine forty-five."

I nodded. "And what time is your curfew?"

The smile slipped off of his face. "Ten."

"You live at least twenty minutes from the stadium, right Paul?"

"Ye-yes, sir."

I smiled. "So, don't you think that instead of standing out here and making smart-ass remarks about one of your coaches that could potentially ruin your practice tomorrow by making you run until you throw up, you should be heading home?"

He muttered an apology before ducking his head and walking towards the gate. I heard Bella laughing behind me and turned around to see her smile.

"Gees, Cullen. When did you become such a hard ass? As I remember, you used to be a genuine smart as-"

I cut her off by gently holding her face between my hands and covering my lips with hers. She sort of sighed, and then held on to my forearms to keep me from letting go. I smiled and then asked if she was ready to go.

Bella just nodded, kept her eyes closed, and kissed me again.

**xXxXxXx**

"Wow."

I smiled at how sarcastic Bella's tone of voice was. "Don't judge. I make the best boxed macaroni and cheese you'll ever eat."

She laughed before taking a sip from the beer bottle she'd been holding. "I guess I can't complain too much. You offered to take me to dinner and I told you I'd rather just…"

I didn't even have to look up to know she was blushing, again.

"Be alone," I mock-whispered. "How scandalous."

Bella playfully slapped my arm. "You know what I mean, Edward."

"Yeah," I nodded. "I know. You've been here two days and this is the most alone time we've had together. Unless you count last night… while you were snoring."

"I don't snore."

"Sure you don't." I laughed when she hit me again. "Can you get me the milk out of the fridge and stop hitting me?"

Bella mumbled something under her breath but as she walked past me to get to the refrigerator, she let her fingers trail across my shoulders and back. "I don't think this cat likes me, Edward."

I stopped stirring long enough to glance towards her and see Cinnamon sitting on top of the fridge, hissing at Bella. When Bella hissed back, I couldn't help but laugh. I reached above her and pulled the cat off of the appliance before sitting her back on the ground.

"She doesn't like anyone," I said, kissing the top of Bella's head. "Don't worry about it."

Cinnamon hated everyone, especially females, except for her owner and me, for some strange reason. When Kate had asked me to watch her cat, I hadn't known Bella would be in town and thankfully Kate would be picking her up on Friday. The damn thing was annoying.

I took the milk carton from Bella, poured just the right amount into the pasta, and then added the powered cheese flavoring. While I was stirring, she leaned up against the counter next to me and watched.

"So…"

"So?" I mimicked her.

Bella moved her weight to her other foot. "Why do I feel so awkward?"

Concerned, I turned to look at her. "Why do you feel awkward?"

She laughed. "That's what I just asked you, Edward."

I shrugged. "You didn't seem awkward at the baseball game. Or last night. Or at the airport."

"Maybe," she sighed before looking up at me. "Maybe it's because… never mind."

"Tell me," I said quietly, moving her hair behind her shoulder. "I don't want you to feel uncomfortable."

"We're… You know that… tonight…"

I smiled. "Are you nervous about us sle-"

"We've been building up to this since we were eighteen, Edward. What if… it sucks? What if, after all of this time, there is no… spark?"

"Do you really think that's a possibility at this point?" I asked her. "We've… just touching you, seeing you, makes me crave more, Bella."

Her bottom lip was pulled between her teeth while she looked up at me.

I nudged her with my hip. "Tell me."

"How do you always know when there is something I'm not telling you?"

"Because I _know_ you," I answered. "Now tell me."

"I want to do this," she said quietly, looking at my chest. "I've… waited for this for a long time."

Nerves made my stomach tighten uncomfortably. "But?"

Bella took a deep breath before looking up at me. "I can't sleep with someone else's boyfriend."

"What?"

"Your sister… yesterday… she mentioned someone named Kate and you've never said anything about her so… I don't know. I mean, if you were in a relationship before you found out that I was coming to Seattle, but didn't want to tell me…" She kept rambling, making all of this seem more complicated than it really was.

I sighed before putting both of my hands on her shoulders. "Bella."

"What?"

"Kate… is a friend."

She raised an eyebrow. "A friend?"

"That's it."

Some of the worry seemed to leave her face. "So… there's nothing there? You've never… with her?"

Well fuck.

The chances of me telling Bella that Kate and I had, in fact, slept together, and her not freaking out, were slim to none. I could spend the rest of the night reassuring her that it hadn't meant anything, but because I knew Bella, I knew that she wouldn't believe me. In her mind, sex didn't just mean sex. It was always attached with emotions and there was no way to separate that. So I did the worst thing imaginable and lied.

"Never."

Relief flooded Bella's face. "God," she shook her head and laughed before covering her face with her hands. "You probably think I'm a huge idiot. I just… I've been the one cheated on and I wouldn't ever wish that on anyone else. Not that I think you're the type of guy that would do that but-"

She stopped talking when I pulled her hands away and kissed her. When I'd successfully managed to render her speechless, I whispered, "I'm not really hungry anymore."

Bella nodded while pulling me back to her by the front of my shirt. "Me either."

"You're okay with this?" I asked. "Because… I was able to stop last night but I'm not so sure I can do that again."

I didn't get a verbal answer. Instead, a kiss told me everything I needed to know. Bella wanted this. More importantly, she wanted me. Carefully, I walked her backwards towards my bedroom, making sure that she didn't bump into any of the furniture that stood in our way.

"I… um…" Bella spoke around our kisses. "I know that this is really… a bad moment to tell you but… Oh, Jesus." She leaned her head back, letting my lips move over her neck. "You need to know that I'm… you know… on the pill. So… yeah."

I sat back and looked at her. "Bell-"

"Edward, I know. I know that this is the completely wrong time to tell you this bu-"

"Bella," I whispered, kissing her gently. "I appreciate it, I do. But, I… I trust you."

She looked up at me, and even if those three little words weren't I love you, I knew, and she knew, that they nearly meant the same thing. Her fingers carefully traced over my lips. "I trust you too."

**AN: I had this chapter completely finished and then accidently deleted it. Oddly enough, when I rewrote it, none of it was the same. If the last "chapter" confused you, I'm sorry. It was a teaser for the Fandom4Texas compilation, set way before E/B meet. Thanks so much to those of you that donated!**


	12. Deal or No Deal

**Not mine, as always.**  
><strong>Bella<strong>

I watched as Edward slowly shut the door to his bedroom. His movements slow and careful while he smiled. When I heard the latch make a soft clicking noise, my stomach tightened from nervousness. This was really happening... after all these years.

He walked towards me, closing the distance in three strides, before leaning down and gently kissing the corner of my mouth, then my chin, and eventually my neck. As his lips left a trail against my skin, I closed my eyes and held on to his shoulders.

"You're shaking," Edward whispered. His hands slipped under the back of my shirt then up my back.

I smiled at the way it felt to be completely wrapped in his arms. "I'm just..." My voiced trailed off with uncertainty and my hands slid from his shoulders to his chest. "I'm here... with you."

Edward nodded. "You're here with me."

Looking up, I met his glance while my fingers moved down his body. They pulled at the hem of his shirt and lifted it over his body when he raised his arms. After dropping his discarded clothes on the floor, I held my arms up and let Edward take off my sweater.

He tossed it onto the chair in the corner of his room and then watched as I reached behind my back and unclasped my bra. I could feel his eyes following my movements as I pulled the lacy fabric away from my body and then threw it onto the chair to join my sweater.

Goose bumps covered my skin as Edward's fingers carefully skimmed over my naked stomach. His hand wrapped around my side before he pulled pulled me to him. Our bare chests pressed against each other when he picked me up, and I moulded my mouth to his before he laid me back against the bed.

There were soft kisses and touches that lead to wanting sighs, hurried attempts to remove the last pieces of clothing that kept us from feeling everyone inch of each other's skin, and then... there was just us.

Edward's lips and fingers explored my body, leaving me gasping and reaching to hold on to his body as I slowly unraveled beneath him. My skin sparked, as if a live wire, as he kissed his way up my stomach and neck.

"Promise me something," he whispered as his hand slid down my side and held on to my hip. I nodded, willing to give him whatever he wanted, and moved my legs open to accommodate him. "Look at me."

I did as he asked, and blushed from the way he was staring at me.

"I've imagined what this would be like with you," he whispered, kissing me softly. "I've always wondered what you would look like..." My stomach muscles tightened in anticipation as he moved his weight, shifting so that the majority of his fell against my pelvis. "Don't hide your face from me, okay?"

I nodded, biting my bottom lip as his hips pulled away. My breath shook and every muscle in my body tensed as Edward slowly, and carefully, moved his hips back towards mine. My hands pulled at his shoulders, trying to keep him as close to me as possible, while my back arched up off of the bed.

He moved above me, slowly, gently, sweetly, while leaving his forehead rested against mine. Edward's breath, hot and heavy, fell against my lips in short gasps while his eyes never left me.

I could feel everything, every inch of my body completely in tune with his. His chest pressed against mine, even though his weight was supported by his forearms that rested on either side of my face, and I could have sworn that I felt his heart beating against my own. My fingers held on to his shoulders, before sliding down his arms and then his back, and as they moved over his body, muscles tensed beneath my touch.

"Edward," I pleaded in a whisper, wanting more... of everything. More of him. More of this. More time. I wanted to stay here, forever, getting lost in him. I wanted to stop living half heartedly through long distance phone calls and text messages. I wanted to hold Edward, kiss him, touch him... I didn't want to say good-bye, ever.

"Bella." He stopped moving but his chest still rose and fell against mine as he fought to catch his breath. "What... whats wrong?"

I shook my head, trying to convince him that I was fine. But when I did, I felt the small trail of tears snake down my face and fall into my hair.

Edward started to move away from me, but my legs wrapped around his waist and my hands held his shoulders. "Don't stop... please..."

"But I'm hurting you... you're-"

"No." Again I shook my head before letting go of his shoulders and carefully cupping his face in my hands. "No... I just... please don't stop. You can't stop."

Edward looked down at me, and even though he had spent the last twenty minutes exploring every last inch of my naked body, I'd never felt more exposed. More vulnerable. He wasn't just looking at me, he was searching me. His eyes stared into mine, questioning and seeking.

"You're okay?" He asked, softly.

I nodded, lifting my head up off of the pillow and gently kissed him. "I'm okay... just please don't stop."

With hesitation, he did what I asked. And with my hands still on either side of his face, I guided his lips to mine and sighed when they skimmed over my jaw, to my neck. I turned my head, giving him better access, and closed my eyes.

"You feel so right," he whispered against my skin. "With me... like this..."

My fingers wove themselves though the back of his hair and I held him tighter against me, hoping he wouldn't try to pull away to look at my face. Edward had been telling the truth when he said that he knew me. He could read me like I was an open book, knew when I wasn't telling the truth, and always knew when I was holding something back. And if Edward looked at me now, he would know that something had changed. He'd see that sometime between me pulling his clothes off and him pressing his naked and sweaty chest against mine, letting me feel his heart beat, that I'd allowed myself to admit the fact that I'd fallen in love with him.

I kissed his shoulder, leaving my lips pressed against his salty skin, and squeezed my eyes tightly shut, hoping it would make the emotions rising up in my chest dissipate. I couldn't let him see it. I couldn't let him know it. Because if I admitted that I loved him, me leaving would kill both of us.

xXxXxXx

The second time that I woke up in Edward's apartment, it wasn't because of an obnoxiously loud alarm clock, or a hissing cat, it was because the man I'd fallen asleep with had woken up with an urge to kiss my naked back and neck. I didn't mind at all.

"Shouldn't you be getting ready for school?" I lazily smiled before turning my head to look at him. His grin made my stomach flutter.

"I'm feeling a little sick today. Maybe I should stay in bed."

Holding the sheet to my chest, I rolled onto my side. "You're skipping school? Such a bad influence on the young minds that you're supposed to be-" I was cut off by Edward leaning over me and pressing his lips against mine. I smiled beneath his kiss and let my hands drift over his back and shoulders.

"You don't want to stay in bed with me?" He asked, pulling the sheet away from my body and covering me with his.

I took a second to collect my emotions, so I wouldn't have an episode like I had last night, and then ran the bottom of my feet over Edward's calves as he settled himself between my legs.

"If I could stay in bed with you all day, I would. Undoubtedly. But I have to go find your sister and suck up her."

He laughed before shaking his head. "Excuse me?"

"Well, see, to keep Alice from ripping my head off yesterday morning I sort of lied and told her that I was late because I'd been interviewing your sister about the donations Whitlock had made to the hospital. You know, as a physician, how had it helped? So now... I actually do have to interview her. If I can get her to talk to me."

"Well." Edward leaned forward to kiss me. "How about I get you an interview with the Chief of Staff that arranged all of the donation details? Then would you at least stay in bed with me for the next hour or so?"

I laughed as his fingers tickled my sides. "And how would you do that? Do you know him?"

"Considering he is my father, I would say I know him pretty well." He kissed me again before slinking down the bed, kissing my chest and stomach as he went. "So, do we have a deal? I get you all to myself and then I take you to interview Dr. Carlisle Cullen?"

"You know, if you weren't so damn cute, you might be considered annoying."

Looking up at me, he just grinned. "Deal or no deal?"

I surrender, willingly. "Deal."

So Edward got his way, I got mine, and two hours later I was sitting in the passenger seat of his car wondering why we had just pulled into a gated community on the outskirts of Seattle and not into the hospital parking lot.

"What... I don't want to interrupt your dad on his day off."

Edward smiled. "He has a lot of days off since he retired three months ago. You won't be interrupting anything, trust me."

It was while he was busy turning left, then right, and then another right, that I realized exactly what I was about to do. "I'm meeting the parents," I said under my breath, trying not to freak out.

"What?"

I pulled down the visor and tried, in vain, to make myself look more presentable. I mean sure, meeting someone to discuss donations for a hospital was one thing. Meeting Edward's parents was something entirely different.

"What the-"

"I'm meeting your parents."

"Yes... I told you my dad was Chief of-"

"But its your parents, Edward. Your mom used to get pissed off that I would call you late at night and... then that time you ran up your cell phone bill because we were calling and texting each other so much. I just... I slept with you last night and... shit!" I flipped the visor back up and sighed.

He gave me a sideways glance before pulling his car over to the side of the road. Once he had stopped and put the car in park, he took his seat belt off and turned to look at me. "That was over eight years ago, Bella. My mom isn't going to hold it against you. And as for last night, I'm not planning on telling my parents. Just... relax. Rosalie is by far the scariest of my relatives. Trust me."

I nodded and took a deep breath. "Alright. You're right."

"They'll love you. Trust me." Edward started the car before he reached across the car and held on to my hand.

He drove another two blocks before pulling into the driveway of his parents house and I couldn't help but wonder what the hell I was doing. For all intents and purposes, I was acting like Edward's girlfriend. I held his hands, kissed him, slept with him, and now I was meeting his parents. I was getting pulled, deeper and deeper, into all of this and had no idea how I was going to be able to say goodbye when Saturday came.

"Ready?" Edward asked, putting the car in park.

Looking at him, I slowly nodded my head and for the first time since I'd known him, asked myself if I would be willing to leave my life in Arizona and trade it in for a new life in Seattle, with Edward. The answer scared the hell out of me.

**AN: Everyone behave themselves while watching Breaking Dawn this weekend. **


	13. You Can Call Me Carl

**Not mine.**

**Edward**

I held Bella's hand as we walked up the front sidewalk to my parent's front door. I'd hoped that she'd calm down after reassuring her that meeting my parents wasn't really a big deal. But she kept pulling at the bottom of her shirt and fidgeting with her hair. Before I opened the door, I squeezed her hand and smiled. "Relax, okay?"

She nodded. And didn't look convincing at all.

I let her walk inside first, and then called out for my dad as I shut the front door behind us. He yelled for us to meet him in the kitchen, and as expected, Bella hesitantly followed behind me as I led her through the house.

In the kitchen, I found my father sitting at the table reading a newspaper. His glasses were crookedly perched on the bridge of his nose, and the coffee cup he was holding was dangerously close to spilling, but he sat it down and smiled when he noticed us standing there.

"Well." My father folded the paper and then stood up to greet us. "I feel like I should already know who you are." He walked towards us, holding his hand out for Bella's and then kissed it once she'd given it to him. "Pleasure to meet you, Miss Swan."

I rolled my eyes at his exaggerated behavior. "Dad, knock it off. You'll make mom jealous."

Bella just giggled. "Its nice to meet you too Doctor Cu-"

He interrupted her."Oh, no. Just Carlisle is fine. Or Carl. Whichever you prefer."

"Who the hell has ever called you Carl?" I asked, pulling two coffee cups out of the cabinet. "My father has a tendency to be a little... overly... corny."

"Like father, like son." He kissed Bella's hand one more time before heading back to the table. "And don't be rude, fix your lady friend a cup of coffee. And give me a refill while you're at it."

"Getting cranky in your old age, father. Perhaps Rosalie and I should look into finding a home for you." He gave me a loud and obnoxious fake laugh and then sat down. I smiled as I poured Bella a cup of coffee, and watched as she stood there, completely smitten with my dad. "Cream or sugar?"

My question shook her from the Carlisle Cullen induced haze and she joined me at the kitchen island. "Oh, cream would be great. Thank you."

As I opened the door to my parent's refrigerator, my dad caught my eye and winked before nodding towards Bella. I ignored him.

"So, Bella." He patted the chair next to his. "Edward tells me that you're here interviewing Jasper Whitlock. Have you met him yet?"

While I finished fixing my own coffee, she joined him at the table. "I met him yesterday. He's... different."

"And by different you mean completely crazy," my father added. "He is. But he also has a heart of gold."

I stood at the island, sipping on my coffee, and watched as Bella and my father talked about the various donations that Jasper Whitlock had made to the hospital. I knew that my father had always been a "people" person, but seeing first hand, how he schmoozed his way into Bella's heart was impressive. And she was eating it up. Completely.

After a while, the conversation drifted off of donations and moved on to antics I'd pulled as a child. Thankfully, before he got too in depth, my mother strolled into the kitchen. She looked completely shocked that we were there, and embarrassed by the fact that she was covered in paint from head to toe.

"Hey mom." I smiled from my chair next to Bella's. "Been working on something new?"

"Edward! What are you doing here?" She tried to wipe away the blue paint that covered her left cheek, only to make it worse. "Darling, no one told me you were coming by... and with company no less! I never would have come downstairs looking like such a mess if I'd known!"

"Oh." My dad just grinned before leaning back in his chair. "Must have slipped my mind. Your son is coming by, bringing a very lovely young lady with him."

Bella carefully pushed away from the table, waving. "Hi, Mrs. Cullen."

"Well my word," My mom shook her head, smiling. "Aren't you just the most beautiful thing! Bella, I swear, you're practically like family around here! How are you? How are you liking Seattle?"

"Um..."

Ignoring her paint splotched clothes, and the fact that Bella hadn't had a chance to answer any of her questions, My mother wrapped her arms around Bella's shoulders and hugged her. "And none of this silly Mrs. Cullen business. You call me Esme."

"Esme," Bella nodded, awkwardly. "Its nice to finally meet-"

"Oh my... look at the mess I made of your shirt! I am so sorry! Come on… we can find you something to wear and I will get that in the washer right now!"

Looking a little confused, and overwhelmed, Bella gave me a nervous glance before being dragged out of the kitchen by my mother. Once they had turned the corner, Dad elbowed me, and smiled.

"I like her, Edward."

I couldn't help but nod in agreement. "Yeah... me too."

xXxXxXx

After my mother had successfully washed and dried Bella's clothing, fed us, showed off her newest artistic creation, and embarrassed the shit out of me by dragging out the family photo albums, we'd finally been able to make our escape.

"So," I asked, pulling out of their driveway. "They loved you. Just like I said."

Bella gave me a small smile. "Your parents are pretty bad ass, Edward. I'm beginning to think you were just a tit bag as a teenager. I can't see your dad being that 'hard' on you."

I snorted. "Yeah, well... I was a completely different person then."

"Not so different," Bella said quietly. "You've changed... but you haven't changed that much." When I turned to look at her, she blushed before shrugging her shoulders. "Its true."

"Sometimes I forget that we've known each other as long as we have... I mean, I know you're an amazing friend that has been there for me through a lot, for a long time, but... all of this is kinda new, you know?"

Bella nodded. "A lot of it is new. And different."

There was a change in her voice, something I didn't recognize, but made my stomach squirm uncomfortably. "Different bad?"

It took a second for her to answer but when she did; Bella reached across the console and held on to my hand. "No, not bad. Just different."

I wished that there was some way for me to figure out what she was thinking. There was something she was holding back, something that was closing a part of herself off from me, and normally I would have just asked her what was happening. But there was something telling me I might not have wanted to know the answer.

"Do you have anything you need to do today?" I asked, squeezing her hand.

Bella shook her head before smiling at me. "No... I will eventually need to get the notes from your dad's interview into my computer but that won't take me very long. Why?"

Instead of heading downtown, I took the waterfront exit off of the highway and smiled. "Because I want to spend the day showing you Seattle."

**AN: What did everyone think of Breaking Dawn? Considering how much I hated the book, I was really surprised at how good the movie turned out! All in all, I love that we finally go to see the real Edward and Bella from the books. Thanks for all of the birthday wishes and I hope you guys have a great Thanksgiving!**


	14. Try

**Not mine, as always.**

Bella

I followed Edward's mother through their house, trying to catch small glimpses of pictures and other items that were scattered through the rooms. There was one particular picture of Edward as a baby that I wanted to stop and get a better look at, but Esme's hand on my arm guided me away from it.

"I bet we're about the same size," she said happily. After depositing me on the edge of a bed, she disappeared in the closet for a few seconds and the reappeared with an assortment of clothes. "The bust might be a little small, but you can take your pick."

My face had to be the shade of a big fat tomato. "Um... " Standing up, I randomly took one of the shirts she was holding and tried to smile. "Thank you."

"No problem at all. Just change and you can bring your shirt downstairs. We'll get it washed and dried while I fix lunch. You are planning on staying for lunch, right?"

Again, I tried to articulate some sort of response. All that came out was another, "Um..."

But Edward's mother just grinned and touched my hand. "I know... We can seem a little enthusiastic. But, Carlisle and I both, we just are so thankful for you, Bella."

"For me?" I asked, surprised.

Esme nodded. "When I came downstairs, the first thing I noticed was Edward's smile. And the way he looked at you. I haven't seen that smile in a long time. Even Rosalie... well, we've all noticed the change in him since he found out that you we're coming to Seattle."

I played with the wooden hanger in my hands and looked down at the floor, wondering how I was supposed to respond to that. Thank you seemed a little too arrogant, I don't know what the hell you're talking about was too rude. So I just said the only thing I knew wouldn't be inappropriate. "Edward... He means a lot to me."

Esme gave me another smile and squeezed my arm. "Take your time, Bella. We'll wait for your downstairs."

She left me alone, shutting the door to their bedroom behind her. I sank down onto the bed, and for the second time since leaving Edward's apartment, felt like I was playing the roll of his girlfriend.

It made me smile, to imagine how it would be if we didn't live so far away from each other. To wake up, every morning, with Edward sleeping next to me. I would fix him a lunch, leaving sappy love notes on the napkins, knowing he loved it even if Emmett did make fun of it. There would be family dinners on the weekends, I could join their skeeball team, and become good friends with Rosalie and Emmett. I could see myself, sitting with all the other coach's wives at the baseball games and having my very own sweatshirt that matched theirs. But then I remembered that my job, my family, the only life I'd ever known was in Arizona.

Could I walk away from all of the time I'd put in at the magazine? Ignore the fact that in the next few months I would be up for the editor position that was coming open? Especially if this interview with Whitlock went well.

Would I be strong enough to pack up my life and leave everything behind for the oppertunity to be with Edward? Was I willing to take the chance of moving to Seattle, knowing that if we didn't work out, then I had thrown away everything? 

Slowly, I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and then whispered, "Bella, what the hell are you doing?"

xXxXxXx

Edward parked his car and smiled while taking off his seat belt. "What do you think?"

I stared at the ferry boat in front of us and tried to swallow. "You... want us to ride that?"

He gently moved my hair off of my shoulder before speaking in a quiet voice. "Just the same as a cruise boat, right? Plus, I think it might be a good idea for you to... get some experience before Friday."

He had a point.

"Are they safe?" I asked him. "Because there was a Grey's Anatomy episode where there was a horrible ferry accident. Some woman had to basically have her entire face surgically replaced and-"

Edward tried to cover up his laughter before shaking his head. "I promise, you won't have to have your face replaced. Its an hour and a half ride and I won't leave your side."

I nodded and then slowly took off my own seat belt. "If we start going down, don't you dare say anything remotely close to 'I jump, you jump', okay?"

He laughed, louder this time, and then opened his door. "Okay."

Walking onto the ferry, I was fine. Making my way to the back observation deck, I was... okay. But once the engine had started and we had pushed away from the dock, I was anything but okay, or fine.

I stood, with my back against the wall, and tried to fight off the impending fear that was making my breathing erratic and my legs shake. The smell of the water, the movement from the waves, even the sounds... it all made me want to scream.

A couple of kids were staring at me like I'd lost my mind, asking their parents why I was acting this way, and it made me feel like even more of a freak show than I already was. How many grown adults didn't know how to swim?

"Maybe this wasn't a good idea," Edward murmured while rubbing the sides of my arms. "I just... the view of Seattle from here is amazing and I figured it would be a good idea for you to get used to the water."

I nodded, appreciating his concern, but didn't open my mouth. Just in case I decided to vomit.

Edward's hands rested on the tops of my shoulders, kneading the muscles there before kissing my forehead. "Just take a deep breath, okay?" Again, I nodded and Edward moved closer, pressing his chest against mine. "Match your breathing to mine, Bella."

I tried to do what he said, knowing that he was trying to help. But every time I took a breath, I could taste the seawater on my tongue. My hands grabbed at the back of his coat, trying to hold on to something that wasn't swaying with the motion of the waves.

"Nothing is going to happen," he whispered against my ear. "Just relax, breathe in and out."

After a few moments, I wasn't hyperventilating anymore, but I still refused to move away from the wall. Edward stayed in front of me, whispering quiet words of encouragement while holding my hands.

"When I went on the cruise with my parents I didn't have to go outside." I laughed weakly and shook my head. "It was like being at a hotel. I hardly ever noticed we were actually on a boat."

There were no "I told you so"s from Edward, he just stood in front of me, blocking the view of the Pacific ocean. It was sweet really, that he would think of trying to help me prepare for Friday's interview with Jasper Whitlock. Even sweeter that he would stand here and hold me up when I really just wanted to melt into a pathetic pile of fear on the boat's deck.

The reminder of what was to come on Friday made me groan and lean into Edward's chest, hiding my face.

"What?" He asked, moving his arms so that they wrapped around me.

"How the hell am I going to do this on Friday?"

I felt the muscles in Edward's back and shoulders tighten, and they didn't match the "You'll be fine," that came out of his mouth. So I straightened up and leaned back to look up at him.

"You're mad?" I asked him.

Edward sighed before shaking his head. "I'm... worried."

"That I'll drown?"

He didn't appreciate my sarcasm.

"No." He answered forcefully. "That Jasper Whitlock won't take care of you."

His protective comment brought up the whole issue of me feeling like I was Edward's girlfriend as opposed to friend. One problem at a time was all I could handle, so I smiled and tried to make light of the situation. 

"Well, if there is an upside, its that it only took my twenty minutes to get over my panic attack. And, as long as I don't actually see any water, then I'll be fine."

Again, my sarcasm didn't impress him.

"I really hoped this would help you..."

The look of failure on his face made me feel like an ingrate. Logically, I knew that I couldn't help my fears, but I felt like I should have tried a little harder. So I took a deep breath, told myself not to be a coward, and then slowly stepped around Edward. The sight of the endless water before me made my knees week, but again, I took a deep breath and put one foot in front of the other.

"Bella, don't."

I shook my head. "I want..." Another breath and I started again. "If I can't do this interview then I'll lose my job, Edward."

"Is your job really worth putting yourself through this?" He held on to my arm and slowly moved with me as I walked towards the railing of the boat's deck. "Just call and tell him you're sick. Have Alice do it."  
>Bitterly, I laughed. "Yeah, I'm sure Alice would love for me to ask her to do the interview for me. Then she would have been right about me failing."<p>

Edward's fingers tightened around my arm, holding on to my coat's sleeve. "Bella..."

I was just two steps away from the railing, and I was going to make myself do this. So I took another breath, steeled my nerves, and walked to the edge of the observation deck. My hair whipped around my face from the wind, and the spray from the boat's wake was freezing against the skin that it hit, but I made myself stand still.

My hands wrapped around the metal railing, holding on for dear life, while Edward moved to stand behind me. His chest pressed against my back and his arms wrapped around my waist, holding me to him. I smiled through the fear, and allowed myself to enjoy the fact that I'd managed to do this. 

When I leaned my head back against Edward's shoulder, he kissed the top of my head. "So," he said, loud enough to be heard over the water breaking against the boat. "This is Seattle."

Together, we watched as the ferry made it's way around the Seattle coastline and Edward had been right, the view was amazing.

With hesitant movements, I loosed my death grip I had on the railing and carefully held on to his arms, making sure not to dig my nails into his wrists.

"You okay?" He asked before kissing my ear.

I nodded. "Better than okay."

Letting go had been terrifying but the feeling of knowing that I'd moved past something that had always held me back was exhilarating. I just had to make the choice to move forward, to try and put one foot in front of the other and not look back. There could have been consequences, just like with any other choice I made, but in the end the reward was completely worth it. Ultimately, I just had to let go and take a chance. I had to at least try.

Edward's arms pulled me against him and I smiled when he left small kisses against my neck. When his lips pressed against my ear, and stayed there, I closed my eyes and knew exactly what I had to do. I had to try.

**AN: HAPPY THANKSGIVING! What are you thankful for this year**? 


	15. Between us

**Between Us, an outtake for The Meeting**

**This was one of the controbutions I made for Fandom4Texas. It takes place before their meeting. A misunderstanding on Edward's part and a few drunken confessions from Bella. As always, I own nothing. If you donated, thank you!**

**Edward**

Another night. Another failure. It was the same fucking cycle that I'd been going through for the past year and a half. Meet a girl, decide that I should learn to trust again, ask her out, go on a few dates, then find out that she was nothing like what I wanted… or needed. I wanted someone I could just… be myself with. I didn't want to constantly feel like I had to prove myself. I was so tired of feeling like I couldn't trust anyone.

After dropping my keys onto the kitchen counter, I shrugged out of my jacket, opened the freezer and grabbed the bottle of vodka that I'd hidden there after our last party. I pulled a glass out of the cabinet, ignored the answering machine telling me that we had messages, and headed straight for my bedroom.

Once the door was shut and the stereo was on, I opened the bottle, poured a shot, drank it, and then fell back onto my bed. I stared at the ceiling debating on if I should or shouldn't call Bella. On one hand, I wanted someone to tell me that the self-pity and disappointment was completely justified. On the other hand, I wasn't sure how I felt about Bella knowing just how pathetic I was. In the end it didn't matter. It never did. My fingers dialed the numbers instinctively and as the phone rang, I closed my eyes, waiting for her voice to soothe the ragged edges of my heart.

"Hello?" A deep voice asked.

My eyes popped open. That definitely wasn't Bella's voice. Or a female for that matter. I checked the screen to make sure I'd dialed the right number and then asked who had answered her phone.

"This is Ethan. Who's-"

I hung up without waiting for him to finish and then heaved myself off of the bed to pour another drink. As I unscrewed the lid off of the bottle, I tried to rationalize the anger that was burning in my chest. Logically, I didn't have a reason to be mad that some random guy had answered Bella's phone. It wasn't like she was my girlfriend or anything…

I swallowed, poured another drink, and then swallowed again.

No, Bella definitely wasn't my girlfriend. And I shouldn't care if she was dating someone named Ethan, even if it was a douchebag name. She was hundreds of miles away, living her own life. The last thing she needed was my sorry ass calling her on a Saturday night complaining about the fact that… that I was just fucking pathetic.

I took another shot, grabbed my cell phone, and called my roommate to find out where he was. After getting the address to the party he was at, I headed back out into the cold Seattle night, wishing that Seattle and Arizona were closer.

xXxXxXx

**Bella**

I watched while my roommate and her boyfriend playfully flirted with each other, kissing and hugging, and tried really hard not to let my little green jealousy monster out of its cage. I'd been down that road before and it hadn't ended well. The whole being-jealous-of-someone's-relationship-and-then-finding-your-own-in-a-desperate-attempt-to-feel-something didn't really work, especially when you were in grad school and trying to keep up with classwork and fulfill your obligations as an intern at one of the most prestigious magazines in Arizona. I didn't want to be alone. But I also didn't have time to commit myself to anything other than school and work.

So, until something gave, I would just have to live vicariously through my roommate and Ethan. I'd watch her get ready for dates and then give her playful disapproving looks when she came wandering in the next morning with her hair and clothes in a rumpled mess. Then I would retreat to my bedroom and listen to depressing ass love songs that just made your heart ache with longing. And to make it all a little less pathetic, I'd wash my sorrows down with a box of wine. At least then I'd have a drunken excuse for listening to The Best of Michael Bolton at three AM.

"Hey, Bella, can I still borrow that black jacket?"

I nodded, pushed myself off of the couch and motioned for Chelsea to follow after me. She helped me dig through the insane amount of useless clothes I had, and then snipped the price tags off of the jacket before sliding it over her shoulders.

"You're sure you don't mind?" She asked, checking her reflection in the mirror. "You've never even worn it."

Taking the discarded hanger, I put it back on the clothes rack, and then shut my closet door. "Someone might as well get some use out of it. That thing hasn't ever even seen the light of day."

She muttered something about me wasting money clothes that I never wore and then hugged me. "I'll take care of it. Promise."

I hugged her back, smiling. "Have fun."

As I followed her back into the living room, I tried to ignore her offers of a blind date with Ethan's friend, and mentally wished they would leave already. I had a box of Chees-Itz and a glass of wine with my name written all over it.

"Well," I sighed, leaning against the door frame from the hallway. "You kids behave yourself."

Ethan rolled his eyes before tossing me my cellphone. "Some guy called for you but I think it was a wrong number. You sure you don't want to come with us? I can still call Jeff."

I shook my head while scrolling through my call history, smiling when I saw it had been Edward. "Thanks but no thanks. I have some stuff I need to finish for class."

The two of them left me, giving me looks of pity mixed with exasperation. Once I'd locked the door, I dialed Edward's number. It went straight to voice mail, which wasn't set up yet. So I hung up and sent him a quick text message asking what he had needed and how his date had gone.

While I was pouring Chees-Itz onto a paper plate, my phone vibrated with a received message.

_Didn't mean to interrupt your date._

I frowned while asking what the hell he was talking about. An hour later, I was four glasses into my box of wine, crying while watching Steel Magnolias, and still utterly confused by Edward's text message. I'd called, text, and would have sent smoke signals if I'd thought it would make him answer me. But no, there had been nothing but silence on his end.

After two more glasses of wine, and Pride and Prejudice, I decided it was time for me to go to bed. Matthew McFadyen had left me a mushy pile of goo; wishing I had someone willing to walk through a misty field in the wee hours of the morning just to tell me he loved me. I was on the verge of calling my go-to date night guy and that wouldn't end well for anyone. So, I tried to call Edward again, cussed when all I got was "a voicemail has not been set up for this number", and crawled into bed. As I waited for sleep to come find me, I pulled a pillow to my chest and drunkenly wondered what I'd be doing if I was Seattle… with Edward.

xXxXxXx

**Edward**  
>"So you play baseball?"<p>

God, this was bad. Really, really bad. I nodded while taking a drink from my beer bottle and tried not to roll my eyes when the girl standing in front of me started twirling her hair around her finger.

"I don't know much about baseball." She smiled up at me, batting her probably fake eye lashes. "Maybe you could teach me."

I took another drink to keep myself from saying something mean and was thankfully saved from Brittney, Whitney… whatever her name was, by my roommate stumbling down the stairs and throwing his arm around my neck.

"CULLEN! DUDE, I'M SO FUCKING GLAD YOU CAME! DID YOU MEET MALLORY?" He nodded towards the girl I'd been "talking" to.

She frowned before popping her hip to the side and planting her hand on it. "My name's Kristen."

I snorted into my beer bottle, loving how both of us had been completely wrong. Kristen tossed her hair over her shoulder and stomped off, calling both of us assholes. I just finished my beer and smiled. Eli watched her walk away, shook his head, and then turned back to me.

"Forget her; I've got to introduce you to Heidi. She's… uh-maz-ing!"

As tempting as Heidi seemed, in sounded out consonants, I'd had enough fun for one night. "I think I'm going to head home, actually. I've got practice tomorrow and-"

"And you want to go home, be a fucking pussy, and not get laid by any one of the willing females that are here tonight?"

Eli had no idea how absolutely horrible that idea seemed to me. He didn't know about Victoria, or the baby, or anything that had happened after she'd left. As far as he knew, I'd just had a serious bitch as an ex-girlfriend, which wasn't a lie, just not the whole truth. But, my departure obviously hadn't affected him too much because before I could even respond to his accusations, he'd given me a pat on the back and trailed after a blonde in a seriously tight pair of jeans. I dropped my beer bottle in the trash and heading out into the cold night.

As I walked the two blocks back to our apartment, I looked through the numerous text messages that Bella had sent me. The newer ones were full of misspelled words that didn't make sense and I knew she was probably drunk when she'd sent them. They all said the same thing, basically. Asking me what the hell I was talking about with me "sorry to interrupt your date" text message, and wondering why I never answered my cell phone.

I wasn't really in the mood to fight with her, and I knew that if I called her while we were both drunk it was likely to happen. But, I also wanted to know who the hell Ethan had been if it wasn't her boyfriend. So, I called her.

After five rings, I finally got a slurred "hello" on her end of the phone.

"Hey."

"Edward?" She asked, yawning. "What… what time is it?"

"Like two or something."

It took a second for her to become semi-coherent and then the questions set in. "What was with your text message? And why wouldn't you answer your phone tonight?" You could have at least sent me a-"

"Who the hell is Ethan?" I interrupted her.

"What?"

"When I called you earlier a guy named Ethan answered. Who is he?"

"He is my boyfriend's roommate."

I stopped walking and my heart fell to the pit of my stomach. "Didn't know you had a boyfriend," I said quietly.

"What?" Bella asked, sounding frustrated and tired. "Ethan is my roommate's boyfriend."

I couldn't help but laugh as I walked up the stairs to our apartment two at a time. "How much have you had to drink?"

"Why are you so interested in my relationship status?" She asked, instead of answering. "Why all of a sudden do you get jealous because some guy answered my cell phone?"

Once inside, I kicked off my shoes, dropped my jacket on the couch, and headed for my bedroom. "I'm not jealous, Bella."

"Oh really?" She laughed. "Then what would you call it?"

"I just found it odd that some random guy answered your phone. That's it."

Bella got quiet after another minute of mocking my "jealousy", too quiet actually, and I was starting to think that she'd fallen asleep. Normally, I would have hung up, but tonight the sound of her breathing on the other end of the phone was as close to comfort as I could get.

Slipping out of my jeans, I got beneath the blankets on my bed, and closed my eyes. I lay there, just listening to her, but then a jolt went through my body when she spoke again.

"When are you going to admit that you're in love with me, Edward?"

"Wh..what?"

Bella sighed, heavily, before speaking again. When she did, her words were slow and sloppy. "I… we keep pretending like this isn't happening… but some day we're going to have to face it, Edward. You're going to have to tell me you love me. And I'll have to tell you that I love you too."

"Bella…"

"Someday," she whispered before yawning. "We'll meet someday, Edward. And you'll see… you'll believe it then."

I could tell she was on the verge of falling back asleep, and I knew shouldn't have asked, but I just couldn't stop myself.

"Hey, Bella?" My voice was quiet,

"Hmm?"

"You love me?"

Another sigh left her mouth. "I've always loved you, Edward."

More to myself than anyone, I asked, "Why aren't you in Seattle?"

"Because it isn't time yet," Bella answered slowly.

I didn't want to think about her response, or the fact that she'd basically admitted her feelings for me in a drunken confession. So I laid my head back on the pillow and closed my eyes. I matched my breathing to Bella's as it got slower. And as my mind drifted off to sleep, I couldn't stop myself from pretending that Bella was actually right beside me, and not hundreds of miles away.

**I am nearly done with the next real chapter. The title from this came from a song called Between Us by Peter Bradley Adams. Give it a listen!**


	16. The Talk

**Once again, I don't own jack shit.**

**Edward**

I'd agreed to accompany Bella back to her hotel, to let her work on the notes she'd taken while talking to my father, but I hadn't expected it to be as entertaining as it was.

Granted, I would have done anything or gone anywhere as long as it meant I got to spent time with her. But I hadn't ever thought that watching Bella sit at the desk in her hotel room, tapping her pen against her forehead while trying to decipher her own handwriting would be fun. It was interesting to see how she worked in her own environment. She scribbled over her notes, chewed on her bottom lip while typing, and talked to herself quite a bit. And I sat on the edge of her bed and watched, trying not to smile at how damn cute she was.

"I just..." She started talking before her voice trailed off; her attention pulled back to the screen in front of her. After a few seconds she spoke again. "Sorry, I just need to... finish..." Again, she stopped talking and leaned down to take a closer look at her notes.

When I laughed, she looked up at me, giving me her full attention.

"I can only imagine how boring this is... I'm sorry, Edward. You missed work today to spend time with me and I'm just making you sit there while I try to read my own damn handwriting."

Shaking my head, I slipped off of the bed and moved towards her. "I actually think you're kind of cute like this."

Bella looked up at me, smiling. "Cute?"

"Cute." I nodded, leaning my hands against the desk. "In this sort of manic... attention deficit sort of way."

She threw her pen cap at me. "Shut up."

I laughed before moving to stand behind her so I could look see what was on the screen. "So, this is your writing process? Rambling to yourself and then writing in incomplete sentences?"

This time, Bella laughed. "I can imagine parts of what I want to say beforehand. So I write what I know and then... just fill in the blanks."

I nodded, even though it made no sense to me. I was a math teacher and therefore had to do everything in a specific order. If I skipped around, or did things without following the theories, I wouldn't ever get a correct answer.

"You don't get it." It wasn't a question. But a statement, followed by a laugh.

"I just can't imagine... Well, with algebra and trigonometry you can't work like that. I mean, I guess you could but you wouldn't ever get the right answer. You'd just keep going around and around in circles because you didn't follow-"

"_Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally_."

Her interruption made me laugh. Hard.

"Parenthesis, exponents, multiplication, division, addition, and subtraction. That one little sentence is the main reason why I hated math. That and the damn _FOIL _acronym; first, outer, inner, last. I've never liked following the rules."

She smiled while I moved her laptop to make room for me to sit on the desk.

"It is million wonders that we've been able to stay friends for this long. What with my blatant disregard for mathematical authority and your lack of creative leeway."

"Is that what we are? Just friends?" I'd meant for my remark to come off as playful, but it ended up sound desperately serious.

Bella's smile slipped, slightly. And I cleared my throat to try and relieve the awkwardness that made me feel choked. Several seconds passed in silence while she looked at the desk and I looked at the floor.

"Sorr-"

"Edward."

We both spoke at the same time.

"You go," Bella said quietly.

I swallowed before trying to articulate all of the questions and thoughts that were going through my head. "I...We..."

A soft, but annoyed voice, interrupted me. "Why is this so fucking hard to talk about?"

"Because we've never...talked about what this, _we_, are. At least not while we were sober. That is like years upon years of built up sexual frustration and awkwardness that we've never dealt with."

Reluctantly, Bella looked up at me. "So... talk."

I wanted to ask why I had to be the first one to broach the topic but then I remembered that it had been my dumb ass that had mentioned it to begin with. So I got off the desk, pulled the extra chair closer to hers, and sat down.

"You... Well, I mean obviously we..." Shit. This was harder than I thought. Taking a deep breath, I started over. "You have to know that I... care about you. I... I've always seen you as more than just a friend, Bella."

"I know," She nodded. "I always have, too."

That made me feel a little better. At least she wasn't telling me all of this was one sided.

"When we were younger I just... there was no way that I was able to be in a long distance relationship. Hell, I couldn't have even handled a relationship with someone that lived next door to me. So I just... I guess I sort of took advantage of the fact that I knew you wouldn't hurt me. You... were always there if I-"

"Needed a booty call."

I sighed before meeting her eyes. "You were always there if I needed someone to talk to, is what I was going to say. But yes... I am sure that there a lot of drunken phone calls that led to..."

"And some not to drunken ones," Bella added for me.

Smiling, I nodded. "And some not so drunken ones that led to us... pushing the boundaries of friendship."

She laughed and I couldn't help but join her. "That was very eloquent, Edward."

"Thanks, I try."

After a drawn out second, Bella turned to look at me. "So what do we do?"

"We... decide what we want. What we... will do."

"You know that eventually, a long distant relationship has to end. Either because the couple can't do it anymore or because things lead to the next level and they get married. So I just… what's the end result, Edward?"

Before I could answer, she quickly spoke over me.

"I'm not saying you have to marry me... at all.. I'm just asking if... I don't know. Do we pick Washington or Arizona? Who gives up what?"

I frowned before looking down at the floor. "Is it really giving something up? I think I would rather think of it as gaining something. Someone."

"I didn't... you know I didn't mean it like that. But if you moved to Arizona you'd leave behind your family and everything you've ever known since you were a kid."

"So would you," I interrupted her. "Your parents-"

"You know I'm not really close to either one of my parents. I'm not... rooted down like you are. Leaving would mean giving up a job but... you've... you belong here, Edward."

"Maybe, maybe not. Maybe I belong somewhere else, with you."

I couldn't believe that I'd said it, and judging by Bella's look, neither could she. But it was true. Seattle, Phoenix, Atlanta... it didn't matter. What did matter was that we had to decide if this was something worth trying. We had to know if this was ever going to be more.

Quietly, Bella asked, "And what if we do this and it doesn't work? What if we... lose everything?"

I couldn't help but smile. "I think we are past playing the 'what if' game. I _know_ I want to be more than just your friend. I _know_that being with you... holding you... feels more right than anything I've ever felt before."

She nodded. "I know, too."

"Then what do we do?" I asked her, smiling when she slowly looked up at me. "Tell me what you want."

She grinned, small and shy, before reaching over and taking my hand. "We try."

"We try." I agreed before leaning forward and softly kissing her.

**AN: Yes, this was short. Most of the chapters in this story will be short. Thank you for reading, reviewing, recommending and everything else. I have to say that only two people commented on my Grey's reference in the last real chapter… high fives for those of you that caught it.**


	17. Facebook Official

**I own nothing.**

**Bella**

"Wait, move your head. No, the other way."

I laughed as Edward situated himself around me, arm outstretched, while trying to balance his phone in one hand. We'd been like that for over an hour, lying across the bed on our backs, trying to take pictures of ourselves. We'd done goofy ones, really horrible ones, and a few of us kissing. Those were my favorite. But now, Edward was trying to take a normal picture and it wasn't going well. Smiling, I leaned my head into his shoulder, and waited as he counted down to the camera flashing.

After the flash went off, he flipped the phone around to look at the screen. His groaning made me giggle.

"Are you purposefully closing your eyes, Bella?"

Playfully, I hit his stomach. "You've taken like eighty pictures."

He ignored me and reset his phone. "Come on. One more."

I pushed my bangs off of my forehead and, once again, smiled for the camera. This time, when Edward looked at the picture we'd taken, he nodded in approval and turned the screen so I could look at it. "I think we're pretty cute together."

Staring at the screen he was holding in front of me, I couldn't help the giddy feeling that bubbled in my stomach. Edward's smile... the way my head fit perfectly on his shoulder... We looked like a real couple. Without realizing it, I reached forward and carefully ran my finger over the image, tracing the lines of our faces.

"Do you want me to email it to you?" Edward asked, gently kissing the side of my head.

Nodding, I let my hand fall to my stomach and laid my head against his chest. While his fingers made soft tapping noises against the screen of his phone, I closed my eyes and enjoyed the content feeling that had taken up residence in my chest.

It had been a really, really, really, long time since I'd been a relationship. I wasn't really sure if it was because my heart was holding out for Edward, or if I was still jaded by the mess that Tyler had left me in.

Finding out that you'd been cheated on wasn't easy. Waking up to find your boyfriend fucking one of your best friends, in the same bed you were in, while you were all on vacation in Florida, was excruciating. I'd laid there, in a drunken haze, trying to figure out what I was supposed to do. Did I ask what the hell they were doing? Did I roll over and just start throwing punches?

In the end, I'd laid there, silently crying into my pillow, and waited until they were finished. Then, I'd spent the rest of our vacation in a shocked stupor. It wasn't until we had arrived back in Arizona that I let either one of them know that I'd witnessed their little escapade. Then, I was left without a boyfriend, down a roommate, and absolutely heart broken. To this day, even after all this time, it still hurt.

My phone vibrated against the night stand, telling me I'd gotten Edward's email. I reached across the bed to get it, smiling when his arm moved to let me sit up, but still remained touching my back.

Opening my email, I was surprised to see one from Edward and several more from Facebook.

"What..." Opening the first one, I saw that it was a notification informing me that I was now in a relationship with Edward Cullen. A jolt of excitement, nervousness, and giddiness shot through my body.

It was one thing for me to know it. It was another thing entirely to see it as a public broadcast for anyone to see. I was Edward's girlfriend. And now, everyone knew it.

Fingers slipped under the back of my shirt and delicately ran over my skin. "I've waited a long time to put that on there."

Turning back to look at him, I smiled. "So now we're Facebook official?"

He nodded, and carefully pulled me back to him before holding my face so that my lips were pressed up against his. "You're mine." He kissed me. "And now, everyone knows it."

My phone dropped to the side of the bed, along with Edward's, as I moved to lie on top of him while keeping his lips on mine. I sat up, breaking our kiss, only so I could pull Esme's sweater over my head. Edward's hands on my hips held me against him, and it wasn't long before the two of us had fallen into a rhythm that left us moaning and panting.

Holding me in place, he sat up and laid me back against the bed before hastily unwrapping my legs from around his hips. I was on the verge of protesting, until I realized he had only done it to remove my jeans. Then I lifted my hips off the bed and tried to help him by kicking the fabric off of my legs while yanking his shirt off and then unbuttoning his own jeans.

I hadn't even pushed them past his hips when he'd forcefully kissed me and pushed me back against the bed. Seconds later, his hand was between my legs and all I could do was gasp and hold on to his shoulders.

Soon, we were nothing but a tangle of legs and arms, rolling from one side of the bed to the other. Edward's body trapped mine beneath his and while his lips kissed across my neck and chest, he growled something that sound a lot like "mine". But I was too preoccupied by his hips thrusting into mine to ask him if that was really what he'd said. Besides, it didn't matter. I was his. And had been for a really long time. 

xXxXxXx

Leaving a sleeping and naked Edward was difficult. But I was starving and the hotel gift shoppe had an assortment of over priced snacks and drinks. So, I'd stolen Edward's shirt, put on a pair of sweat pants and grabbed my house shoes before heading down to the lobby.

While debating on mustard pretzels or Chex-Mix, I saw Alice walk to the front register and ask the sales lady for a bottle of Aleve. I frowned, wondering if she was sick, and then grabbed a bag of her favorite cookies.

"Hey," I quietly asked, siding up to her. "You okay?"

She looked surprised as hell but narrowed her eyes before asking me where the hell I'd been. I nearly replied with a bitchy remark, but she did look sick. And exhausted. She was wearing the same thing she'd has on yesterday and that was a sure sign that something wasn't right with her. So instead, I sat my purchases on the counter and politely answered her.

"I stayed with Edward last night and then we had lunch with his parents. Edward's dad was the hosp-"

Throwing money down on the counter, Alice tossed her bottle of Aleve in her purse and interrupted me. "Yeah, I saw the good news on Facebook. Congratulations. I'm sure everyone at work will be thrilled to know that you've been trolling around Seattle instead of actually doing your job."

"Excuse me?" I knew Alice was annoyed with me for being a little preoccupied but this was just flat out being a bitch. "I'm not trolling anything! And why would anyone from work care if I-"

Ignoring me, she just shook her head. "Are you going to just stay in Seattle now? Or is Edward moving to... Never mind. It doesn't even matter. But you know what? At least have the decency to put yourself together before coming out in public, Bella. A bra would have been nice. You are here representing the magazine."

With that, she turned around and left me standing at the counter. I started after her, wishing I'd had the nerve to just slap her for talking to me like that. Instead, I was brought back to reality by the poor cashier asking me if I was ready to check out. I numbly nodded my head, apologized for her having to see that, paid for my stuff, and took the bag she was offering me.

Upstairs, I accidentally let the door to my room shut louder than I had meant to, and the noise made Edward sit up straight and mutter something that sounded a lot like "no those are my peanuts" before shaking his head.

I apologized, threw my bag of snacks on the desk and sat down in the chair.

"What..." Confused, he rubbed his eyes and then looked around the room. "What time is it?"

Shrugging, I moved the mouse on my computer and saw that it was only fifteen minutes past three. After telling Edward what time it was, I emptied my assortment of chips, cookies, and candy onto the desk. Seeing the bag of cookies I'd planned on buying for Alice, to make her feel better, only made me angrier.

I saw Edward's eyes widen as my hand pounded the bag into the desk, but I didn't care. As I kept repeating it, smashing the cookies into a tiny crumbs inside the package, he got out of bed and hurriedly put his boxers back on.

Carefully taking my hand in his, he pushed the crumpled wrapper into the trash. "Did the cookies do something to piss you off? Or did I miss something?"

I shook my head."Its nothing."

He slowly nodded and before kneeling down next to me. "Bullshit."

Smiling, sort of, I just answered. "Alice... she just... she thinks that this is a bad idea. That we're a bad idea."

"Well no offense to Alice, but it isn't any of her damn business. It isn't anyone's decision but ours. And I don't care what my sister thinks, what my parents think, or what Alice thinks. The only person's opinion that matters to me is you. And your answer is yes, right?"

I nodded, wishing that I seemed more confidant in my answer, but Alice's comments... I knew they shouldn't get to me. They shouldn't change my mind. But it brought back the nagging questions of how we were going to make this work.

Edward squeezed my hand and gave me an encouraging smile when I looked down at him. "Right?"

I had so many fears... so many questions. I didn't want to get hurt or hurt him. I didn't want to end up ruining our friendship because we couldn't make a relationship work. Could I walk away from my job? Or was I willing to let Edward leave his family?

It was easy to get lost in the eternal optimism that we'd had only a few hours ago. Wrapped in Edward's arms, laughing and kissing, had let me forget everything and just focus on the feeling of him being with me. But now that I'd ventured out of our bubble... I was faced with reality. And I didn't know if us trying would lead to our failure.

"Bella?" Edward whispered, his voice laced with worry.

I didn't know. That was the harsh truth. I was scared and uncertain, hoping that all of this would somehow miraculously work out on its down. But, I was also happy, so happy, with Edward. And I didn't want to lose that. Or him. So, I slowly nodded my head before touching his face. He smiled as I leaned in towards him and carefully let my lips rest against his.

"Right."

**AN: I like writing a bitchy Alice... Sorry.**

****


	18. Nearly Time

****I own nothing****

****Edward****

The day had been perfect. Waking up next to Bella in my bed, spending the day with her, watching as she laughed and smiled... it had been exactly what I'd always imagined. But then Alice had to throw a fucking wrench into the wheel and now I was left with a pissed off Bella. And as amusing as it was, to watch her beat the shit out of a bag of cookies, I'd have preferred to have the giggly-blushing Bella back.

A part of me understood how she had to feel; Alice was her best friend. On the other hand, who the hell cared what she, or anyone else, thought about what we did or didn't do? Alice had no right to judge Bella for the choices she'd made. And my opinion was that all of this was nothing but jealousy. From what I saw, Bella hadn't ignored or abandoned her job. She was willing to venture out into the ocean, even though she had a severe phobia of water. I'd say that was pretty damn dutiful.

But, my thoughts and opinions aside, Bella was still upset. And I hated it. So while she sat at her computer, halfheartedly working on the article, I decided that it was time for me to take Bella out on a real date. One that wouldn't include maple bars, skeeball, or anyone but the two of us. She was my girlfriend now, officially, and that deserved celebration.

"Let me take you out tonight. We can go get something to eat... maybe catch a movie or listen to music downtown."

Bella looked up at me, gracing me with a small smile. "You don't have to do that, Edward. I'm fine with-"

Shaking my head, I interrupted her. "Am I ever going to be able to take you on a real date?"

Her smile got a little bigger, and so did mine as I watched her cheeks blush.

Reaching across the desk, I gently took her hand in mine. "Come on, Bella."

Her hand squeezed mine and I knew I'd won her over.

xXxXxXx

Making sure to keep a hold of Bella's hand, I wove a path through the patrons of _Conor Byrne_; hoping to get a decent table. One of the bartenders gave me a friendly nod in recognition. I asked her for two, yelling over the noise, and then made a bee line for an empty table near the stage.

Bella, eyes wide, took in everything around her. She muttered her appreciation when I held her chair out for her, but was too busy looking around the pub to really pay me much attention. I couldn't blame her. This bar wasn't like most bars. From the brick walls, oak high-back bar, and chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, _Conor Bryne's_ was more old-world charming than twenty-something bar. Which is why I was a frequent.

"Do you come here often?" She asked, looking at me. I nodded and help her with her coat. When a waitress delivered two drinks to our table, Bella looked at the dark liquid and then at me. "What is that?"

Smiling, I pushed the pilsner closer to her. "Its a Guinness."

She eyed the glass. "I've never had one."

That wasn't surprising. Not a lot of people, especially females, liked stout beers. But, most of them didn't know what to expect when tasting it and automatically blew it off without giving it a chance.

"Try it." I said, giving the glass another gentle nudge."You might end up liking it."

Bella picked it up, daintily smelled it, and then laughed. "This is like a loaf of bread in a glass. You know that, right?"

Grinning, I watched as she slowly took a drink. And then tried not to laugh at her when she could hardly swallow all of it. Guinness wasn't a beer you just chugged.

"That is... really... heavy? And... I taste coffee?"

I nodded, taking my own glass. "Don't write it off yet. Take smaller sips and savor the flavors."

Bella gave me a questionable look but didn't push the glass away. "So, tell me about this place."

"It is an authentic Irish pub. They have really good live music and... I don't know. I like that it doesn't feel like a club or a bar."

Taking another, smaller, drink; she looked around the room. Her expression wasn't as bitter when she swallowed this time. "I like the atmosphere. It is very... you."

We waited for the band to take the stage, passing the time talking about things from our past and sharing stories. Bella's laughter, her smile, the way she used her hands when talking... all of it was so addictive. And I definitely wanted more.

While she talked, I watched all of her mannerisms, cataloging them in my mind. When she was talking about something she was passionate about, Bella would leave both of her hands on the table but clasp them together. When she laughed, she covered her mouth and nose while shaking her head. I loved it.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" She asked, playfully pushing on my arm. "You're making me nervous."

"What?"

She shrugged and then watched as the band finished setting the stage and tuning their instruments. "Sometimes when you... look at me like that I just feel like you can see right through me. Like I'm... an open book that you're reading; finding all of my secrets."

As her face blushed and she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, I ran my hand up her arm and leaned into her. "What secrets?"

Bella turned her head, smiling when she saw how close I was, then moved so that our noses touched.

The band had started, but neither one of us looked towards the stage. Instead our eyes stayed locked on each other's. Letting go of Bella's arm, I gently held on to the back of her neck and watched as her eyelids slowly opened and closed while her breath fell against my lips.

"What secrets?" I asked again, slowly this time.

Bella kissed me once, letting her eyes close, and then spoke without opening them. "I think you know."

She kissed me again, lingered for just a second longer than before, and then turned to look at the band that was playing in front of us.

I wanted to ask her to look at me again. To kiss me again. But even though she was smiling, and had a blush covering her cheeks, there was also a small line of worry that had settled between her eyebrows. So I settled for keeping my hand on the back of her neck and pressed my lips against her temple. She sighed and leaned into me, relaxing against my chest when my arm wrapped around her shoulders.

As the musicians played, Bella watched the band and I watched her. She'd said that she thought I knew what her secrets were but that didn't make any sense. If I knew, how could they be a secret?

A few songs later, a handful of couples had made their way onto the small dance floor and started swaying back and forth with the music. When Bella turned to look up at me, giving me a playful grin, I asked if she wanted to join them.

"Are you kidding?" She laughed. "I don't dance."

"First time for everything," I said, standing up. "Come on."

Hesitantly, Bella took my hand and then followed me. Her head shook slightly, while she laughed, but once I had my arms around her she relaxed.

Her forehead leaned against my shoulder, her hand held on to the back of my shirt, and she only stepped on my feet a few times as I led her around the dance floor. Then, she started giggling and apologizing.

"I told you I didn't dance."

The song came to a slow end, and while it did, I carefully lifted Bella's chin so that she was looking at me. Once she was, I held her face between my hands, and then kissed her.

"I don't care that you can't dance, Bella." I said, smiling against her mouth. "You could have broken all of my toes and I would still love everything about you."

Her entire body became rigid and a fleeting look of panic flashed across her face. She sort of smiled, quickly tugged at the bottom of her shirt, and then excused herself to the bathroom. Confused, I watched as she made her way through the people and tables filling the pub. Before turning down the hallway that lead to the restrooms, she cautiously looked back at me, her face blushing brighter than I'd ever seen it. Her eyes were shy and vulnerable. And the way she curled into herself, shoulders hunched, she looked terrified. And that was when I finally understood what her secret was.

Bella was in love.

With me.

And it scared the shit out of her.

Once she'd disappeared down the hallway, I slowly made my way back to our table. Bella's coat had accidentally fallen from the chair she'd been sitting in, so I picked it up before sitting down, and held it in my lap.

While I waited, hardly paying attention to anything and only focusing on the way the fabric of her coat felt underneath my fingers, I tried to figure out what to do.

Bella was obviously scared, maybe even a little confused, and I didn't want to make it worse. She was already freaking out about all of the bullshit with Alice and the interview with Jasper Whitlock. Bringing up any of this would probably send her over the edge.

So I knew I had to be patient. I had to wait and know that eventually, in her own time, Bella would tell me. The prospect of hearing her say she loved me, when she wasn't drunk, or scared, made the wait seem more bearable.

"It isn't time yet," I whispered to myself, quoting the words Bella had told me so long ago. I smiled, remembering how she'd accidentally told me she loved me that night, in a drunk and half-asleep stupor.

"Do I even want to know why you're smiling like that?" Bella asked while sliding into the chair next to mine.

I shook my head and laughed, quietly. "No. Probably not."

She nodded once before looking down at her lap and fidgeting with her fingers. "I'm... um... Sorry that I..."

"Hey," I gently rubbed her back. "It's okay."

Bella looked up at me, giving me a questioning look, but then I saw her shoulders relax. She didn't say anything else, and neither did I. We could both pretend that her apology and my reassurance was about her stepping on my feet, but we knew that it went deeper than that.

She knew I wouldn't press her for a declaration of her feelings. Just like I knew she would tell me when she was ready. Until then, I was willing to wait as long as I had to. She was worth it. This, what we had, was worth it.****

**AN: Hello, I love all of you. The end.**


	19. What About Seattle?

****I own nothing****

**Bella**

With cold water on my hands, I dampened my cheeks and neck, both of which were flushed. It wasn't particularly warm in the bar, but under Edward's gaze... heat flashed through my veins and left me feeling... like an idiot.

The moment had been perfect, with the music and chandelier light above us, the way he was holding me in his arms and smiling... but then I'd... blown it. All because I was too damn scared to admit, to him and to myself, that my feelings for Edward... Even now, I was to chicken to even think it. 

"You're here with Edward, right?"

Staring at the water splattered reflection in the mirror in front of me, I nodded at the girl Edward had shouted our drink order to at the bar. She finished buckling her belt before going to the sink next to mine and washing her hands.

"I'm Sasha." She smiled, rinsing the suds off. "I went to high school with Edward."

"Bella," I said, returning her grin.

"Nice to meet you." After handing me a couple of paper towels, and drying her own hands, she tossed the crumpled paper into the trash can and backed her. Before she left though, she said, "Don't let him go, Bella. Edward's a good one."

Once the door had closed behind her, I looked back in the mirror and told myself that she was right. I didn't know why I was so scared to admit my feelings for Edward, but I had three days before we left Seattle and I had to move past it. There wasn't another option. Unless I wanted to go back to Arizona and risk the chance of losing Edward because I'd been too scared and jaded to admit the truth.

xXxXxXx

With Edward asleep next to me, I stared up at the ceiling of my hotel room. It was a little past three o'clock in the morning, and I'd been lying there since Edward had fallen asleep, coming to terms with the fact that between now and Saturday, I was going to have to stop being a baby and make the choices I had to.

Admittedly, the choice to move to Seattle or to try a long distance relationship was a big decision. One that would ultimately affect Edward too. And even if I thought I knew what his decision would be, I wanted to hear his opinion. So, I placed that delima on the back burner and focused on things that I could do on my own.

If I did move, that would mean having to find another job. And since I'd only worked for the magazine since graduating, that meant that I would need one hell of a recommendation letter from them. So, like it or now, I was going to have to find a way to get my ass on that boat with Jasper Whitlock and get this interview finished. It needed to be better than anything I'd ever written, because if I left Arizona, this article was going to be the best asset I had on my resume. If we decided to try a long distance relationship, the article with Whitlock would still have to be nothing short of spectacular. I wanted that editor position and if venturing into the Pacific Ocean was what I had do to, then so be it. 

So, tackling one problem at a time, I carefully got out of bed and made my way to the desk. I put on my favorite playlist, opened up my files with Whitlock's notes and got to work. Four hours later, I was still sitting there. It wasn't until Edward gently pulled one of my earbuds out that I even realized he was awake.

"Did you sleep at all?"

"No." I shook my head and finished writing the sentence I was working on. "I have to meet with Alice tonight and I want to get as much of this finished as I can. Plus, I really think that I should meet with your sister because-"

I was interrupted by Edward's lips pressing against mine. I smiled and gladly shut up.

"How do you have this much energy after not sleeping at all?" He asked, kissing me once more before sitting down.

I shrugged and gave my screen a quick glance before answering him. "I really need this interview to go well."

"Are you scared?"

"Maybe a little... I mean, I seriously doubt that I'll end up thrown into the ocean, but I guess more than anything else I don't want to prove Alice right."

"Right?" Edward asked. "About what?"

I laughed quietly. "About everything. She has said I was crazy from the beginning for taking this assignment. And then... you know how she feels about us. I just want to show her that you aren't a distraction."

"Bella, I know that she has been your friend for a while but... why does her opinion matter so much? She hasn't been a very supportive of you. I don't understand why you even... care."

"Did you know that Alice and I were the only two UofA students that had articles published before we had even graduated?" I quietly asked him. He shook his head and I smiled while playing with the cord to my earphones. "We were both staff writers for the ADW before becoming editors. And then we both got accepted into the intern program for the magazine and when there were only two openings for full time staff members... guess who applied and got hired."

"You and Alice."

I nodded and looked up to meet his gaze. "Alice is the best competition I have. And even if I don't agree with what she says, I have to value her opinion."

Edward leaned back in the chair. "And how many editorial positions are opening up next month?"

Taking a deep breath, I answered him. "Just one."

"And if this interview doesn't go well..." He didn't have to finish the sentence.

"This... isn't just about the editor position. It's..." I shook my head, trying to figure out what to say. "Professionally, Alice's opinion means more to me than anyone else I work with. If she says its crap... chances are it is. It doesn't matter if I get hired as an editor or end up moving to Seattle... this article, this interview, it could make or break my career."

A smirk appeared on Edward's face before he reached across me to grab a pen. I watched as he quickly wrote down a phone number on the back of one of my pages. "This is my sister's cellphone number. She is probably working all day but maybe you can meet for lunch or something."

"Thank you." I smiled before kissing his cheek.

"I'm leaving you to work today," he quietly said, turning to look at me. "But tonight I want to hear more about this moving to Seattle thing. Okay?"

Nodding, I agreed. "Okay." 

xXxXxXx

"You've got twenty minutes to ask me all the questions you want." Rosalie surprised me by plopping down into the chair across from mine and opening the lid to her salad. "Then, if you want answers, you'll have to join me in the ER." She took a bite, smiled, and with a mouth full of food; told me to start.

"Uh..." I flipped through my notes, trying to get my thoughts together.  
>"Nineteen," she said, taking another bite of lettuce.<p>

I smiled before delving into the questions I had for her about the various donations Jasper Whitlock had made to the hospital. She told me about the conditions of the ER before hand, how they had had to transfer a patient to another hospital because they didn't have the right pediatric equipment needed. Then, she waved her hand towards the wall of glass windows that overlooked another portion of the hospital.

"And then we got the new pediatric unit. Hands down, we have the most up to date and high tech NICU unit in the state of Washington. Mr. Whitlock's donations don't just help the hospital, Bella. It helps the city. He provides more public assistance to patient's without insurance than any other private benefactor."

"That's a really good quote, Rosalie."

She thanked me before finishing her water and piling all of her trash onto the tray. "Just be sure to get my name right. Oh, and I requested to be your friend on Facebook. Since you and my brother and now 'official' and all."

She was smirking, exactly like her brother did, and waiting for me to give her details of our sudden relationship status. But, instead of giving her what she wanted, I flipped my notepad closed and looked up at her. "My twenty minutes are up."

Rosalie laughed before standing up. "Tell Edward to call me. I can always get him to give me the details."

Without waiting for a response, she dropped her trash in the container, squeezed a handful of sanitizer into her palm and left me sitting in the middle of the hospital's cafeteria. I smiled, while putting everything back into my bag, and realized that Rosalie wasn't as bad as I had originally thought. 

xXxXxXx

"Can I get you another drink?"

I shook my head before looking at my watch, again. Alice was supposed to have met me in the hotel's bar over two hours ago. I'd called her room, her cellphone, and even checked in with her roommate to see if she'd heard from her. All for nothing. It was now close to eleven o'clock; I was exhausted, worried, mad, and maybe a little drunk.

All day, I had done nothing but work on the article. I'd gotten several other quotes from the hospital's staff, researched other donations Whitlock had made throughout the community, and even gotten a ten minute interview with the mayor. And now, when I was ready to show Alice that I wasn't blowing this off, she was nowhere to be found.

Resting my elbow against the bar, and my head on my hand, I lazily sent Edward a text message asking him to come get me. Twenty minutes later, he walked into the bar and found me on the verge of passing out.

"Bella."

I frowned and closed my eyes. "She didn't show up. I worked all day and... she... just blew me off. What if something happened, Edward?"

"Do you need some help?" The bartender asked. 

But Edward told him no and then carefully lifted me off of the stool and into his arms. My head fell against his shoulder and before I realized we had even left the bar, I was being laid out across my bed.

"Edward."

He kissed my forehead and then started pulling my shoes off. "Just go to sleep, Bella."

"But we..." I swallowed and tried to open my eyes, barely succeeding. "I was supposed to talk to you about Seattle."

A heavy blanket was laid across my body and the weight of it was oddly comforting.

"We can talk about Seattle tomorrow, okay? You're exhausted."

Nodding, I turned on to my side and reached for his hand. With my face buried in the pillow, and head half covered up my the blankets, I tried to tell him that I wanted to stay. He kept shushing me, telling me that I just needed to sleep, but I wanted him to know that I'd made my mind up.

"Edward... you don't understand... I..."

Before I could finish, my eyes closed and no matter how hard I tried to open them back up, they wouldn't. The bed moved, and I was pulled closer to someone... something... and then there was nothing but silence. And sleep.

**AN: Sorry if my last AN made you guys think I was finished with the story... my sarcasm can be confusing. So, just to clarify... not the end. Although we are getting closer!**


	20. Swimming Lessons

**I own nothing.**

Edward

After missing two days of school I had figured that heading back to work on Thursday would be a genuine pain in the ass. And I was right. Aside from having to reteach an entire chapter because the substitute had been too idiotic to do it right, I also had to leave Bella sleeping at her hotel room knowing that she wanted to talk to me about staying in Seattle. But, having that conversation while she was drunk and exhausted wasn't how I wanted it to happen. So, I left a note telling her that I was taking her to dinner after weight practice and muddled my way through an ordinary Thursday-grading quizzes, avoided Emmett's pestering questions, and counting down the hours until I'd feel Bella in my arms again.

Practice was hell in the form of thirty people crammed into a weight room, and that didn't leave me much of an opportunity to avoid my brother-in-law. While I was trying to encourage one of our players into finishing his reps, Emmett sided up next to me and smiled.

"So?" He asked me. Before I had a chance to tell him to fuck off, he was yelling at one of the kids for dropping the weights. The distraction was only momentarily. Turning back to me, Emmett grabbed my shoulder and squeezed. "Feeling better?"

Nodding, I took the barbell and carefully sat it back on the rack. "I do. Thanks."

"And?"

I smiled, knowing he was expecting details. "And what?"

"Edwar-"

Turning my head so I wouldn't be overheard by any of our students, I interrupted him. "Not going to happen, Emmett. You might feel the need to give me details about your relationship with my sister, which is entirely out of line and disgusting, but I'm not going to discuss Bella with you or anyone else. Alright?"

To my surprise, he nodded in agreement. But then, in a quiet voice, asked if he was going to have to start looking for a new pitching coach.

"I think Bella might be moving to Seattle, actually."

A wide grin covered Emmett's face before he barked out a laugh that made a few of the players look at us. He yelled at them to get back to work and then slapped my shoulders. "She is totally joining the skeeball team." Before he walked away he added, "And taking your place as co-captain."

Practice continued, and an hour later the gym felt like a fucking sauna. The small space was filled with the sounds of teenagers grunting, coaches encouraging them to lift more, and weights hitting each other. So it wasn't until Ben yelled my name that I even noticed someone had entered the gym.

Confused, I looked up over the equipment, and was surprised to see Bella standing there. Then I really saw her, noticed the way her face was red and splotchy, how she was holding the handle of a suitcase, and the tears clinging to her eyelashes. Then I was panicked and concerned.

Everyone and everything stopped. They looked from Bella to me, but within a second Emmett was yelling for everyone to get on track.

"You've still got an hour and a half of practice left! Get to work!" He gave me a concerned look before taking my place at the bench press and then nodded towards the coaching office. "I've got this. Go take care of her."

Quickly, I grabbed a towel to wipe the sweat off of my face and then jogged over to meet Bella at the back door. "Hey… Are you okay? What happen-"

"I didn't know… I mean…" Bella shook her head while interrupting me. "I didn't mean to interrupt you. I just didn't know where else to go and… the cab ride to your house…"

"It's fine," I said, taking the handle of her luggage. "Come on, we can talk in the office."

Awkwardly, Bella ignored the curious looks of everyone lifting weights and followed me into office. Once I'd shut the door behind her, I hurried over to my desk and cleared off the chair so she could sit down. "Here, have a seat. Do you want some water or something?"

She shook her head before pulling her coat tighter around herself. When I gently touched her cheek, Bella's eyes closed and more tears left her eyes.

"What happened?"

After taking a breath, she answered me. "Alice… last night she went behind my back and interviewed Whitlock. She said that our boss had called to see how things were going and that… after finding out from Alice that I'd been 'ignoring my responsibilities' he reassigned the interview to her." She shook her head again before wiping off her cheeks. "I'm sure he'll be expecting my resignation by the time I get back."

My first reaction was to call Alice a bitch, because what else could describe her after what she'd done? But then I reminded myself that my opinions about what had happened wouldn't make Bella feel any better. So I carefully wrapped my arms around her shoulders and kissed the top of her head. "I'm sorry."

Holding on to the back of my shirt, she cried harder against my chest and spoke in incoherent-incomplete sentences. So I just rubbed her back and whispered words of encouragement until the tears subsided.

"All of that fucking worrying… for nothing."

"I know," I agreed.

"And… I even went on that fucking boat!"

When I hugged tighter, I didn't tell her that I was relieved that she wouldn't be heading out into the Pacific Ocean. I was all for her overcoming her fears, as long as I knew she would be safe. And sailing with Jasper Whitlock didn't calm my worries. But while she continued complaining that all her effort had been for nothing, I got an idea.

"Did you really want to get into the ocean?"

Bella shrugged when I let go of her shoulders. "I… I don't know. I'd kind of gotten myself worked up for it. I was… ready. Kind of." She saw me smiling and then frowned. "Why?"

"Because if you really wanted to face that fear then… well, I can help you."

"Help me how?"

xXxXxXx

I grinned, watching as Bella carefully looked into the one of the school's swimming pools.

"How deep is it?"

I pulled off my shirt before answering. "The shallow end is five feet."

"And the deepest?"

"More than five feet," I said evasively. Bella looked back at me and I quickly reassured her. "You can do this, if you want to."

Her bottom lip was pulled between her teeth and she looked back into the pool. "I want to."

Aside from apprehension, I also knew that there was a bit of excitement in her voice. When I'd told her that she could use the pool as a way of facing her fears, the sadness that had been a mask on her face disappeared.

"And… you'll help me?" She asked, peeking back into the water again.

Pulling her back against me, I kissed the side of her neck and promised that I wouldn't let her go. Bella took a deep breath, nodded her head, and then started pulling off her shoes. "There is no way I'm getting in there with just my underwear. Give me your shirt."

Ten minutes later, I was standing in water that hit my waist, waiting until Bella was ready to join me. She stood there, looking down into the pool and biting her lip, while fidgeting with the hem of my shirt.

"Is it cold?"

I shook my head. "Nope. Feels pretty good actually. Like a warm bath."

She started to put one foot in, then chickened out. "Edward…"

I walked to the edge of the pool and held my hand out for hers. "I promise I won't let anything happen to you. Trust me."

After a moment, Bella nodded and then took my hand. With careful movements, she kneeled down, and then sat on the side, letting her legs slip into the water. A second later she took a deep breath and slid in, holding on to both of my shoulders.

She stood completely still for a moment before looking up at me. I smiled and took a slow step backwards, pulling her with me.

"I've never been in a pool before."

"How do you like it?" I asked.

Bella smiled before answering. "It isn't too bad."

With her holding on to my hands, we walked around the shallow end for a few minutes. Then, after promising that I wouldn't let go of her, we ventured into deeper waters. She got nervous when the water got higher, hitting her chest, and once she was on her tiptoes, I pulled her legs around my waist.

"Just hold on," I said, lifting her up higher while holding on to the underside of her thighs. "I've got you."

"And you can still touch? I don't want to go underwater, Edward. I can't do that."

"Hey," I said quietly. "Just relax, okay? I've got you." Slowly, I felt the muscles in her legs loosen. "See, you're fine."

Bella nodded her head before resting her chin on my shoulder. "I'm okay."

I pressed my lips against her neck and smiled. "I won't let you go."

"Ever?"

Her voice was small and quiet, like she was so scared of the water, of us, of the future. I nodded before holding her tighter against me. "Never."

We didn't talk after that. But I held Bella to me and slowly walked around the swimming pool as the water lapped over my arms and her back. She eventually relaxed into me and I felt her lips against my shoulder. Then, out of nowhere, she said three very quiet words that made me stop.

"I… I love you."

I closed my eyes. "I love you too, Bella."

Slowly, she leaned away from me. I looked up into her eyes, so relieved that there wasn't any hesitation or worry in them.

"I can't do this from a thousand miles away anymore. I need you… and I want you with me… every day. This whole thing with Alice, I know that it sucks but maybe it was for the best. There isn't anything for me in Arizona anymore."

My heart, which was already pounding at the speed of light, clinched in excited hope. "So, Seattle?"

Bella nodded her head. "Seattle."

She leaned forward and kissed me, pulling at the back of my hair. I let go of one of her legs so I could hold the back of her neck, keeping her lips against mine, and then lowered both of us into the water so that only our heads remained above the surface.

"Say it again."

I smiled before giving her what she wanted. "I love you."

Bella kissed me and tightened her arms around my neck. "I love you, too."


	21. Going Under

**Bella**

I held my arms up as Edward's lips kissed my neck and his hands pulled my shirt up over my head. Once it was on the floor, with the rest of our clothing, I held his face in my hands and carefully led his mouth back to mine.

His hands held my hips and walked me backwards to his bed, following me down onto the mattress one we'd reached it. As he moved above me, pushing pillows out of the way, my hands slid down his neck until they rested against his chest and I was positive I could feel his heart beating against my palm.

I probably should have been terrified that in the course of one day my life had taken a drastic turn in the other direction, but I wasn't. Instead, I was relieved that I'd had Edward to comfort me, to talk to me, when everything had come crashing down. He wasn't in another state, and it wasn't just comforting words over the phone. Instead he had held me in his arms, promised me that everything would be fine and told me that he loved me… And it was perfect. He was perfect.

He promised me that he wouldn't let me go, that he wouldn't let anything happen to me, and I believed him. For the first time, in a long time, I didn't feel like it was just me. I had someone that would hold me up and never let me fall. I had someone that was willing to take the good and the bad and love me, unconditionally. I didn't have to do this by myself anymore. I didn't have to be scared anymore.

"Are you alright?"

I smiled at Edward's question because I was more than just alright. "Yeah," I answered, looking up at him. "But I'll be a lot better when you kiss me again."

It didn't take much convincing before he leaned down over me and pressed his lip against mine. And I didn't hesitate to wrap my legs around his hips. His lips were soft while his tongue moved against mine. And when his hand slipped between my legs, I held on to his shoulders and sighed into his mouth.

"Edward."

His forehead leaned against mine, while his breath fanned out across my lips. He wanted my eyes as I slowly relaxed into his touch and got carried farther and farther away by the feelings coiling in the base of my stomach.

I tried to hold on, to make this moment last forever, but I couldn't. And as I unraveled beneath him, Edward's voice quietly told me that he loved me. I held the back of his neck, brought his mouth to mine, and as he gently moved his hips between mine, filling me completely, I told him I loved him too.

xXxXxXx

"Bella."

I pulled the pillow closer to my face. "Hmm?"

I felt Edward lean over the bed, covering my back with his chest while his hand slipped under my hip and pulled me against him. I moaned before playfully pushing my butt back against him, and smiled when he buried his face in my hair.

"Don't tease me."

I pushed back against him again. "It isn't teasing if you plan on following through with it."

"And if I didn't have to be at school in twenty minutes, I would take you up on that offer." Edward kissed the back of my shoulder, then my neck, and finally my ear. Leaving his lips against it, he whispered, "I love you."

I rolled over onto my back, and held his face between my hands before kissing him. "I love you, too."

What was a perfectly romantic moment was completely interrupted and ruined by the stupid cat jumping on the bed and hissing at me. Edward shooed her away before giving me another kiss.

"How much longer will we be subjected to that?"

"Just till tomorrow." Edward tucked the blankets around me and smiled. "Emmett is picking me up so you can use my car if you need to go anywhere."

I nodded and covered my mouth when a giant yawn crawled up my throat. He just smiled, kissed me again, and then stood up.

"Go back to sleep. I've got tutorials during lunch but I'll be home right after school."

He said home, like I belonged there too, and that made a silly grin spread across my lips. Edward gave me another kiss, another I love you, and then left for the day. I rolled over once I heard the door shut, pulled his pillow closer to me, and fell back asleep with a smile on my face.

xXxXxXx

Standing in Edward's kitchen, wrapped in the sheet from his bed, I waited while the coffee brewed and curiously looked though some of his cabinets. The cat, perched on top of the refrigerator, watched me with judging eyes.

I shut the cabinet door, and shook my head. "Don't look at me like that."

The cat's tail swished in response.

I was seriously contemplating throwing the dish rag at it but stopped when the front door opened. I froze, completely horrified that I was standing there in nothing but a sheet, and then nearly dropped the material covering me when a woman I didn't know came walking into the kitchen. We both screamed when we saw each other and I immediately reached for the closest weapon I could, which happened to be a spatula.

"Oh my-" Her hand flew to her chest and then she took a step backwards. "I'm so… sorry!"

We stood there, staring at each other in complete silence, until the cat meowed happily and jumped from the refrigerator and onto the counter. She then pranced her way towards the woman and leapt into her arms.

She cuddled the animal into her chest before giving me an awkward smile. "I'm… I should have called before I just stopped by. I figured Edward would be at work and… I came back a day early."

"You're the friend he was cat-sitting for?" I asked her.

"Yeah, I'm um…" She fumbled with the cat before sticking her hand out. "I'm Kate."

"K-Kate? You're… the friend?" She was freaking gorgeous! With blonde hair and blue eyes she looked like a damn Barbie doll!

When I didn't shake her hand, she awkwardly dropped it and the blushed from neck to forehead before nodding. "Yeah, I'm the friend." She set a key onto the counter and then took a deep breath. "Um, I'm just going to get Cinnamon's things together and then I'll get out of your way."

I watched as she moved around Edward's apartment, opening closets and cabinets like she knew exactly where everything was, and after shoving the cat in a pet carrier, apologized again for scaring me.

"I really didn't know… I'm sorry."

"No," I shook my head, still flustered. "I… Edward didn't tell me…I'm sorry."

"Oh," Kate laughed and pulled the bag higher up on her shoulder. "It isn't like that… I mean… I guess we all know what we're getting into with someone like Edward. Right? Holding everyone at arm's length? Don't feel bad."

I swallowed around a very large knot in my throat and pulled the sheet higher up on my chest. "You mean, you and Edward…" I couldn't even finish the sentence because I had to have this all wrong. I specifically asked him if had slept with her, and he had specifically told me no. Praying I was wrong, I made myself ask her. "You and Edward were… together?"

Kate delicately shrugged her shoulders. "As together as you can be with someone like Edward. Seriously though, please don't feel like you're sleeping with my man or anything like that. He made it plainly clear what this was before we did… anything. No hard feelings. I promise."

She gave me another wave and then left me standing in Edward's kitchen in a fucking sheet. Once the door was shut, the spatula I'd been holding fell to the floor and I soon followed it.

xXxXxXx

I left Edward's car parked in the marina's parking lot, hoping someone would fucking hit it, and ran down the steps that led to the docks below it. I read the name of the boats as I ran and hastily wrapped another scarf around my neck. When I saw _The Arroyo_ rocking with the motion of the waves, I stopped to stare at it.

Granted I didn't know anything about boats but I was expecting a hell of a lot more than what was sitting there. This looked more like a dinghy than an actual boat. It could only hold three people at maximum and looked absolutely tiny next to the boats next to it.

Whitlock was doing something with a line of rope and looked completely surprised to see me standing there when I called his name. "Bella?"

I smiled before waving a gloved hand at him. "I'm ready for my sailing lesson."

That was a lie. In truth, I was on the verge of crying, throwing up, and screaming. But I didn't have time for that, not now. The only option I had left was to go through with the interview, give my version of the article to my boss, and hope like hell that it made Alice look like a lying bitch.

He gave me a curious look before leaning forward to see if anyone was following me. "I thought Alice-"

"Yes, well…" I took a deep breath and lied again. "Alice isn't much for sailing. In fact she hates it. She is terrified of water." Before he had a chance to say something else, I asked him if I was allowed to come aboard.

Whitlock looked a little confused but agreed and helped me climb aboard once I'd taken my shoes off.

xXxXxXx

"Are you sure you're feeling alright?" Jasper had to yell at me over the sound of the water.

I nodded at his question, too scared to open my mouth in case I decided to throw up, and held the extra life jacket closer to my chest. It was beyond freezing and I was pretty sure that I would never regain function of my toes, but the bitter cold and rain was nothing compared to the absolute fear that had left me a paralyzed mess.

Since we had ventured out into actual open water, I'd done nothing but sink deeper into my seat, and try not to start crying while Jasper went on and on about why he loved sailing. I didn't care about the interview anymore, or my job, or why the idiot steering the boat had decided to name it after a Spanish word that meant dried up river bed! I wanted out of the water, out of the boat, and back in Arizona where I could go back to living my pathetically normal life!

"Can you hold this for me?"

I looked up from my panicked ranting to see Jasper motioning to the rudder thingy at the butt of the boat. I asked him if he was crazy but Jasper just laughed. "I have to retie that line or we could lose the sail and end up tipping."

That got me moving.

With frozen limbs, I carefully moved to the back of the boat and held the rudder while he stepped over me and walked to the main mast. I watched as he tried to grab a hold of the loose line, growing more and more anxious when it flapped around in the wind. When the sail itself started waving wildly, I screamed for him to hurry the fuck up.

"Almost got it!" He yelled back at me. It didn't make me feel any better.

The wind was cruel and hard, pinching my cheeks and every other inch of exposed skin, while I tried to hold the rudder still. I closed my eyes and prayed that I would make it back to shore. I bargained with God, telling him that I would stop drinking, stop lying, stop doing every horrible habit I had, if he would just get me back to dry land.

But then the boat started rocking and I knew that my bargaining hadn't worked. I was going to die out here in the Pacific Ocean. I knew it. Tears started falling uncontrollably and I abandoned the rudder to put on the extra life jacket I'd been holding.

"Bella! The Rudder!"

My body, my mind… everything had frozen. All I could do was sit there and cry and pray that they would at least be able to find my body, for the sake of my parents. How horrible would it be to know your child had died and never have the closure of burying their body?

Whitlock kept yelling at me but I couldn't hear him, not really. I was too focused on the water that was creeping over the side of the boat and covering my feet. It was so fucking cold, not like the water in the pool. Thinking of Edward made my tears come faster and my chest ache.

He'd said he loved me… but after lying about Kate, just so he could sleep with me, how could I trust anything he'd told me? I guess it didn't matter, not now.

I took a deep breath, gasping around my sobs, and looked down at the water that was now up to my knees.

This was it.

I looked back, hoping Jasper would be there to tell me what to do, but I was alone. So very, very alone.

The water rose and I clawed at the slick body of the boat. I tried to crawl my way to the part that wasn't sinking, thinking that I might have been able to sit on it's belly once it had flipped, but the water kept pulling me back into it's icy grip.

The boat sank deeper, pulling me under with it, and once the water was up to my shoulders I closed my eyes and took a final breath before letting the water win. It pulled me under, stabbing me with its freezing temperatures.

And I let it take me, deeper and deeper, until everything was black.

**AN: No, this isn't the end. I'm having surgery soon so I am hoping to crank out as many chapters as I can and get this story finished before I go in. Thanks guys!**


	22. Panic

**I own nothing.**

**Edward**

Five more hours, just five more –slow agonizing hours- until I could get out of here and spend an entire weekend with Bella. I knew that we had a lot to figure out, like when and how she would move to Seattle, but even the logistics of figuring it all out didn't bother me. The hard part was over. Bella had made the choice to stay and even if that meant driving to Arizona and back in a weekend, with a damn U-Haul, then that's what I would do.

While the kids finished their assignment, I started daydreaming, imagining how our life together would be. I doubted that Bella would want to immediately move in together, but maybe I could eventually talk her into it. There wouldn't be any more lonely nights or desperate attempts at dating. Bella was it for me and I knew it. And her moving here, us being in a relationship, it was the beginning of forever.

A knock on the door startled me and everyone else and the second that Emmett stuck his head inside, I knew something was wrong.

"Can I talk to you for a second?"

Nodding, I pushed away from my desk, and joined him outside. Our department head, Jane, was with him, looking entirely too sympathetic for this to be a good conversation. I gave her a worried look before asking Emmett, "What's going on?"

"Rosalie tried to call you," he muttered, looking down at his feet. "So, she called me instead. We've got to go to the hospital."

"What…"

Jane gave my arm a reassuring squeeze before saying, "I'll take over your classes for the day and arrange a substitute. Don't worry about anything up here." She gave me another kind smile before going in my classroom and shutting the door behind her.

"Emmett, what's going on? Is it Mom and Dad?"

He took a deep breath before finally meeting my eyes. "A boat capsized about four miles off shore this morning and the coast guard brought in two people… one of them was Jasper Whitlock. The other one was Bella, Edward."

I shook my head and took a step away from him. "But, Bella didn't do the interview. She… she's at my apartment."

"Rosalie identified her. We've got to go, okay?"

Numbly, I agreed and followed him out into the faculty parking lot, leaving all of my stuff inside my classroom. Once we were in his car, I took his phone and immediately started called Bella's cell. As it rang, I knew he had to be wrong. Why would Bella have gone? Alice did the interview for her.

The call went straight to her voicemail, and with a shaking voice, I left a message. "Bella, call me back as soon as you can. Emmett… Rosalie said that you were brought in to the ER and I know you're at home, right? I love you."

Emmett sped through town, breaking several traffic laws, and I kept trying Bella's cellphone. Each time it went to voice mail, and every time it did, I left another message begging her to call me back and tell me that Rosalie was wrong.

By the time we pulled into the parking lot, I was so fucking scared that my arms and legs wouldn't even work. I tripped over a parking block, and managed a strangled "thank you" when my brother-in-law helped me up off of the pavement. We reached the emergency room and I couldn't even breathe.

People were everywhere, talking and moving from room to room. As someone was wheeled by on a gurney, with blood seeping through the bandage on their head, I swallowed back the bile in my throat.

"Rosalie!" Emmett yelled over the chaos and I looked around trying to find out where she was.

Once I saw her running towards us, I shook my head, arguing before she could even tell me anything. "Bella didn't go with him… She's at my apartment. You're wrong, Rosalie."

"I wish I was. Trust me. But Whitlock himself told me who she was. She didn't have any identification on her and I didn't know who else to call as an emergency contact…"

As if Emmett knew that the strength in my legs was wavering, he put a hand on my back to help me stay standing. I tried to process the fact that Bella had in fact gone onto the boat with Jasper Whitlock, and once I accepted that this was really happening, I looked at my sister and asked her where she was.

"They just took her to get a CT."

"Is she… okay?"

Rosalie shoved her hands into her pockets and shook her head. "She is pretty beat up, Edward. When the boat tipped… Whitlock said she was hit by the boom. She's got some facial lacerations and a few broken bones but she was trapped under the boat and… We just need to be thankful that she was in water that was so cold. It delayed the oxygen depletion to her brain."

My sister spoke in a slow and calm voice, one that she used when trying to keep people from freaking out. "It's called the Mammalian Diving Reflex, the cold water basically slows down the heart and the blood flow down and allows the brain to continue receiving oxygen at a delayed pace. Like a penguin or a… seal."

"A penguin?" I asked, hardly believing what she was telling me. "So… this… reflex saved her life? She'll be okay?"

"We hope she'll be okay. We don't know if there will be any long term or short term brain damage. The CT and other tests will tell us more, but right now we just need to be thankful that they were able to save her at all. If Whitlock wouldn't have set off the emergency services beacon… there is no telling how long they would have been out there before someone realized what had happened."

I nodded before absently rubbing forehead. "I want to see her, Rosalie. I can't… I need to know that she is really okay."

Emmett kept his hand on my back as we followed my sister through the mess of people and into one of the exam rooms.

"You can wait here until she comes back. Is there anyone else I should call? Her parents? Whitlock told me to call someone named Alice but I didn't know if-"

"Don't fucking call her. She…" I stared at the mess of medical equipment and supplies that were scattered around the floor, like someone had just discarded them in a hurry. There were tubes, blankets, towels… My chin started quivering, as I tried to come to terms with everything Rosalie had just told me, and I nearly fell onto the floor before Emmett steadied me. I swallowed back the anguishing sob that made my chest burn, and tried to talk again. "She hurt, Bella. And I don't want her near her."

I turned around and looked at my sister, making sure that she understood me. "I mean it, Rosalie."

My sister hesitantly nodded her head. "Alright."

After that, Rosalie left us to check on Bella's other labs, and Emmett and I sat in absolute silence while we waited for her to be brought back to her exam room. I let my elbows rest against my knees, folded my hands together, and prayed that God wouldn't take Bella away from me. I silently begged for him to punish me, to hurt me instead of her, and before I knew it I was slowly rocking back and forth as tears slid down the sides of my face. My brother-in-law remained quiet, but laid a steady hand on my back, reminding me that I wasn't alone.

xXxXxXx

I was able to sit there for a few minutes before an anxious restlessness took over my body. Then I had to start pacing around the room. Rosalie came back in, making my heart stop in anticipation every time the door opened, but she never had anything new to tell us. It was just a fucking waiting game.

"I just need to see her. Do you understand that?" I asked her.

"Yes, Edward I do understand that. But you have to understand that she has to be taken care of first. I can't just sneak you into the-"

The door to the room opened and all three of us turned to see if it was Bella. Instead, Jasper Whitlock stood there, with Alice hiding behind him.

"The charge nurse said I could find you here," he said to Rosalie, completely ignoring me or Emmett. "I wanted to come see if you'd heard anything about Bella yet?"

The sight of him, standing there completely unharmed, made me furious. The way he said her name, like he had any sort of right to even be concerned about her, sent me over the edge. I pushed away from the wall, slipped out of Emmett's hands that tried to stop me, and tackled Jasper Whitlock to the floor.

"You fucking asshole!" I accentuated every word a punch to the guys face, shoulder, or chest, whatever I could reach. "You let this fucking happen! She couldn't swim and you took her out on that fucking boat anyway!"

My sister and Alice both screamed at me, telling me to stop. But it was only Emmett's arms wrapping around my sides and hauling me off of him that made a difference. Even then, I struggled with his grip, trying to get away.

Rosalie kneeled over Jasper's body on the floor, trying to see if he was alright, while Alice just stood in the door way crying. Her tears pissed me off more than anything else.

"Fucking cry for this guy but have no goddamn remorse for the way you've treated your best friend!" I yelled at her, shoving Emmett away from me. "What are you doing here anyway, Alice? Did you come to gloat and tell Bella that you were right? That this would all end in a disaster?"

Her tears fell faster as a small sob escaped her mouth, but it was Whitlock that answered for her. He slowly got off of the floor, held his sleeve up to his nose, and then stepped in front of Alice, blocking my view of her. "She's here because I called her."

"And why did you fucking call her? She doesn't give a damn about Bella and has made that painfully obvious!"

Alice laid a hand on Whitlock's shoulder before carefully stepping around him. Then, she took a deep breath and answered my question. "He called me because… because…"

"Because she's my fiancé."

xXxXxXx

Rosalie and Emmett, who had no idea what had happened between Bella and her best friend the past few days, didn't look nearly as shocked as I did. But they both stood there and listened while Alice tried to explain her actions.

"I didn't… I was so annoyed with Bella for acting like this interview wasn't important. She acted like meeting you was the only thing that mattered and I hated that. But then Jasper and I… it just happened. And I felt so guilty for the way I had treated Bella and what I had told you that day we went to lunch… I made her feel like she was screwing up her job to make myself feel better about falling in love."

"With friends like you, who the hell needs enemies?" I asked her. "You know that she worked her ass off to get everything ready before meeting with you on Wednesday night, don't you? She didn't even sleep, Alice. And then you show up Thursday and tell her that you've called your boss and-"

"I know!" Alice cried. "And I tried to call her all morning to apologize and tell her the truth but… but then all of this happened and…I'm so, _so_, sorry!"

Completely disgusted with how she had acted this whole week towards her best friend, I just shook my head at her apology. After a minute of awkward silence, my sister cleared her throat and looked at Alice. "Do you happen to have Bella's parents' information? Or whoever we should contact from the magazine?"

The two of them were in the process of getting Rene and Charlie Swan's phone numbers when the door to the room opened and a guy in scrubs tried to wheel a gurney into the room. He stopped when he saw all of us, but then gave Rosalie a nod of recognition. "Dr. McCarty."

Instantly, she became in charge of everything and everyone in that room. "Alright." She gently pushed Alice and Jasper back against the wall. "Everyone move so they can bring her inside."

With people standing in my way, I couldn't see anything but the white blankets covering her body. But when Alice covered her mouth and started sobbing, and Emmett said "Oh, God" under his breath, I knew it couldn't be good.

"Edward." Rosalie warned me to move and then gave me a look that clearly meant this wasn't going to be easy.

I took a step back, moving so the orderly could push her gurney back against the wall, and felt like someone had punched me in the stomach once I was able to really see her face.

"Bella," I whispered, gently touching her hand while leaning over the side of her bed. She was so cold and still… her eyelids and lips were still tinted blue. "Bella?" I tried again, smoothing her hair back and off of her forehead and hoping she would open her eyes to look at me.

But there wasn't any movement or recognition, at all.

"Rosalie, do something." I begged, turning back to look at my sister. "Please… please don't let her…" I couldn't even say it.

She laid a gentle hand on my back and promised me that she was doing everything she could.

Carefully, I leaned forward and gently kissed Bella's lips and hoped like hell that my sister's best was enough to keep Bella with me.

**AN: Just remember if you're going to drown to do it in water that is 56 degrees or below!**


	23. Waking Up

**Still not mine.**

**Bella**

I could hear sounds, like water and someone telling me that I had to breathe. I also felt the movement of being rocked back and forth and the cold all over my body. But those things came in and out of focus, like I was being pulled between the absolute silence of nothing and the semi-awareness of things around me. But when I tried to open my eyes, to tell whoever was holding on to me that my arm and shoulder hurt, I couldn't. The silence was taking over my body, leaving me in nothing but darkness.

xXxXxXx

The feeling of hands touching me, everywhere, sent pain and panic reeling through my body. I wanted to scream and tell them to stop, but the blackness made everything so distorted and I couldn't understand anything that was happening. All of their voices were so loud, almost deafening, and I just wanted it all to stop. I wanted to cry, to plead with them to not hurt me, but my voice sounded like a muted mumbling. I felt myself wanting to panic, felt the anxious adrenalin spread through my aching body, but then I heard a voice that was so familiar. This voice wasn't loud, it wasn't harsh. These hands didn't hurt me. Whoever it was, they knew me. And I knew them.

"Bella, you're okay. You'll be okay."

I tried to hold on to the familiarity but again the darkness crept up my body until there was only the silence again.

xXxXxXx

The next time that I remembered being aware of anything, the fog had lessened. I was able to focus on sounds that I recognized, remembered parts of what had happened. Things made sense again.

I could feel the weight of the sheet and blankets against my legs and knew what something had happened to my left shoulder and arm; they felt tight and uncomfortable, like they had been splinted. I could hear the soft beeping of a heart monitor, as well as the deep breathing of someone close to me. Whoever it was, their smell was so familiar and comforting. So was the feeling of their hand on mine. I wanted to know who it was. I wanted to let them know that I was okay. But the more I tried to open my eyes, the more exhausted I became. I tried to squeeze their hand, to show them that I was still there.

Before I fell back into the darkness, I heard someone say my name. Their voice sounded so relieved and shocked, like maybe they didn't believe that I was real. I tried again to talk or open my eyes, but I couldn't.

xXxXXx

"How is her blood pressure?"

"Better. Still lower than what we want but better. Are you sure you don't want to go home and get some sleep? You've been up here for two days straight, Edward."

His name… I knew that name. I knew who Edward was.

"I'm not leaving her here, Rosalie. What if she wakes up?"

I felt the blinding darkness coming back and tried to shake my head, telling it no. I wanted to stay! I wanted to tell both of them that I was okay!

"Bella?" His voice was so anxious. I felt his hands gently touching my face, asking me if he could hear me.

But everything went black before I could tell him I could.

xXxXxXx

I could open my eyes but everything was still so dark and blurry. I looked around as much as I could without moving my head and saw the heart monitor and IV pole looming above me. A small light was on next to me, but the rest of the room was dark.

My body ached in a dull, throbbing, sort of way. But I made myself catalog everything I could feel from my toes up. I felt the blankets and could even make out their waffle like pattern through the sheet. I felt a pillow under my left arm and something heavy like a cast over it. In my other arm, I felt the needle from the IV and the tape that pinched my skin. Tubes were lying on my chest and I vaguely wondered what they were for. But then I felt something move on the bed next to my right hand, and looked down to see someone's hand lying there. I looked more to the right and saw someone sitting next to the bed.

Red hair… I knew who that was. Edward… it was Edward.

I tried to say his name, but I couldn't talk. That's when I realized that I had something in my mouth, and down my throat. I wanted to swallow against it, panicking when I couldn't, and tried to move my hand to wake Edward up. But I couldn't move more than my fingers.

They clawed at the sheet underneath them for a few seconds before it was enough to wake him up, and when he did, he wearily looked at my hand and then up to my face.

"Bella?" He pushed away from the chair, sending it flying back against the wall. "Oh my God, you're awake!"

I was crying, trying so hard to say something around the tubing in my throat, but he told me to stop. After he punched the call button for the nurse, and yelled that I was awake when she answered, his hands gently wiped away the tears on my face. "You're okay. You'll be okay."

I nodded, trying to tell him I understood.

Edward leaned over the bed, smiling and pushing my hair off of my forehead, before the nurse came into the room. He ignored her request for him to move, and it wasn't until Rosalie ran into the room that he even looked away from my face.

My eyes pleaded for her to help me, to take this thing out of my throat, and I pulled against the restraints that they had around my wrist.

"Bella can you hear me?" She asked, while looking over me. I nodded slowly. "Okay, listen to what I'm saying. We had to put you in a ventilator to help you breathe. That's what you feel in your throat. I need you to take a deep breath and calm down so I can get it out, alright?"

I took a deep breath to show her I understood.

"Edward, go wait outside."

"I'm not-"

"Get the fuck out of this room or I'll call security!"

Edward glared at his sister before looking back at me. I nodded, telling him I was fine, and squeezed his fingers before he reluctantly walked away from the bed. Once he'd left, I focused my attention on Rosalie and ignored the nurse taking the tape off of my face.

"You'll have a little gag reflex when I pull it out, okay?" She talked me through everything she was doing, reminding me to relax and telling me I was doing a great job. When she started pulling the actual tube out, I tried so fucking hard not to throw up, but before I could help it I was sitting up as much as I could and gagging.

Rosalie dropped the discarded tubing on my stomach and then carefully rolled me over onto my right side. "You're okay," she repeated over and over, while holding my hair back. "There isn't much in there for you to throw up, if that helps."

It didn't.

"How long..." My voice was so hoarse and raw I doubted she had even been able to hear me.

"Four days," she answered. "You've been out for four days."

She reached around me, untying the hospital gown that I was wearing, and then carefully helped me lie back on the bed. As the nurse helped her pull the soiled gown off of me, Rosalie asked if I remember what had happened.

"The boat," I croaked out.

She nodded while the nurse ran a damn washrag across my arms and chest. "You nearly drowned, Bella. If Jasper hadn't found you…" Rosalie stopped midsentence and then smiled. "We're just glad you're okay. Edward hasn't left once since you got here. Even when I threatened to have him removed from your room… he never gave in."

I took the ice chips that the nurse offered me and closed my eyes as they melted in my mouth and the cool water ran down my throat. They finished doing their assessment, telling me random bits of information about what had happened over the past four days. I tried to pay attention but the longer I sat there, the more tired I got.

"I'll go get Edward," Rosalie said, fixing the pillow that was under my arm. "Then you need to try and get as much rest as you can, okay?"

I nodded and sank further back into my pillows. Before she walked away though, I carefully took her hand. When she looked back at me, I whispered, "Thank you."

Rosalie gave me another smile before going to get her brother.

It couldn't have taken more than a minute for Edward to come back into my room, but already I felt my eyes closing from exhaustion. When I felt his hand holding mine, I slowly looked up at him. He smiled before leaning over the bed to kiss my forehead.

"I'm so glad you're okay," he whispered into my hair. "I was so scared that I'd lost you."

With my uninjured hand, I reached up and touched his face. "I love you."

"I love you, too." He smiled before kissing my fingertips, and then my knuckles. "But you need to sleep, okay?"

I didn't try to argue. Instead, I closed my eyes and smiled when he pulled the blankets up higher on my chest. While he fixed the pillow under my head, he said something about wanting to know why I'd been on the boat to begin with, and something in the back of my mind started nagging me.

Edward sat down next to the bed, and carefully took my hand in his. I squeezed his hand as I gave into the sleep that my body needed. Once I'd drifted off, an image of a woman standing in Edward's kitchen flashed behind my eyes. Her blonde hair was nearly white and even though I couldn't really understand what she was doing there, I knew she had taken something that belonged to me. Something I loved. Slowly, her hand dropped a brass key onto the counter top, and as it clinked and clanked its way across the tile, I remembered who she was.

My eyes opened, as if I'd been shaken awake. I let go of Edward's hand and turned my head to look at him.

"What?" He asked, leaning closer to me. "What's wrong?"

In the loudest voice I could, I said, "Kate."

**AN: DUN, DUN, DUN!**


	24. The Wait

****I own nothing****

Edward

Sitting still for extended periods of time was not my thing, at all. But the idea of leaving Bella, even for a few minutes, made my heart sink to the pit of my stomach. Rosalie said she was "better, but not out of the woods" and until I saw her eyes open, saw her lips smile, there was no way I would leave her bedside. Yesterday she had moved her hand, weakly holding mine for a few seconds. It was small but it was something. If I left, who knew what I would miss.

"You've got to stop pissing off the nurses, Edward. They're just trying to do their job. And you constantly hovering and getting in their way isn't helping anything."

With careful eyes, I watched as my sister flipped through Bella's chart, ignored her comment, and tried to catch any sign of warning that might have flashed across her face. She'd been keeping details about Bella's condition at a bare minimum, only telling me enough to keep me from going off on her. Something about patient confidentiality or some other bullshit.

"Are you even listening to me?"

Instead of answering, I asked my own question. "How is her blood pressure?"

Rosalie sighed before shutting the chart. "Better. Still lower than what we want, but better." She clicked her pen a few times before dropping it into her pocket, fixed the blanket sitting at Bella's hip, and then looked over at me. "Are you sure you don't want to go home and get some sleep? You've been here for two days straight, Edward."

I started shaking my head before she had even finished her statement. "I'm not leaving her here, Rosalie. What if she wakes up?"

My sister's mouth opened, a quick response on the tip of her tongue, but everything in the room stopped the second that Bella's head started moving back and forth. My breath caught in my chest, my stomach plummeted to the soles of my feet, and at the same time as Rosalie, I leaned over the bed. I ignored my forehead colliding with my sister's and carefully ran my fingers over Bella's cheek. 

"Bella?" I asked. Rosalie tried to push me back so she could get in closer, but I didn't budge. "Can you hear me?"

As soon as her movements had come, they left. In a matter of seconds her body was just as still. Her face resumed the lifeless blank expression, and my nose did the stupid tingling thing that always happened right before I started crying.

Nodding my head, I ignored the tear that fell off of my nose and gently tucked the blankets tighter around Bella's body. "Just sleep, okay? For as long as you need. I'll be right here."

"Do you want me to get you anything?" Rosalie's voice was laced with pity.

I shook my head before pulling the chair back to Bella's bedside. Once I had sat down, I reached through the bars of her bed rails and took her hand. "The one thing I want you can't give me."

Several seconds passed before Rosalie said, "You love her."

It wasn't a question. My sister had always been intuitive, and that often led her to being overprotective. But when I looked up to meet her gaze, I wasn't met with the icy indifference that had always been in her eyes at the mention of my relationship with Bella. Instead, I saw the same heartache that matched mine.

"You love her?" I repeated Rosalie's statement, making it a question.

Stiffly, my sister nodded her head. "Yeah, I think I do."

Her eyes, less clinical this time, scanned over Bella's still body. She adjusted the pillow under her arm, moved a piece of hair off of her shoulder, and then let out of a deep breath. In a matter of seconds, the physician-like calmness took back over.

"I'll go update Alice and Whitlock about her movement."

Looking up, I frowned. "They're still here?"

Rosalie nodded. "Out in the waiting room."

"Have you found her parents yet?"

"No, not yet. We can't find updated phone numbers for either one of them." With one hand on the door handle, my sister looked back at me. "I won't make you leave but I meant what I said. Stop pissing off the nurses."

With that, I was left alone with Bella, thrown back into the silence that scared the shit out of me. 

xXxXxXx

"I could stay... if you wanted to go home and shower or... sleep."

I stayed in my chair, glaring across Bella's bed at Alice. She caught the look on my face and then went back to clumsily playing with the ends of Bella's hair.

After a few more awkward-silent-seconds, she added on, "I just thought I would offer."

Honestly, she was lucky I even allowed her in the room. I still didn't know exactly what had driven Bella to attempt the little sailing expedition with Whitlock, but I had an aching suspicion that it had something to do with Alice. And even if it didn't, I could vividly remember how upset Bella had been the night she showed up at our weight lifting practice. Alice had hurt Bella, a lot, and anything that could cause her that much pain, didn't need to be around her. We didn't need anymore negative energy.

On the other hand, it was also obviously clear that Alice was scared for her best friend. The way she touched Bella, the way she looked down at her... those weren't fake signs of concern. Alice was just as worried as I was, but that didn't mean I had to admit to her that I knew it. Or like it.

She stayed for a while longer, just playing with Bella's hair and murmuring small words of comfort. Like every time before she left, she offered to bring me a cup of coffee or something to eat. And, like always, I refused.

She looked rejected while she leaned down and gently hugged Bella as best she could. The look on her face didn't bother me, but what I heard her whisper in her friend's ear chipped away at my anger towards her.

"I'm so, so, sorry... I know you hate me, Bella and I... I can't ask you... I love you and I need you to wake up. We... Bella, I need you to wake up and be happy. Alright? You deserve to be happy." Alice quickly wiped at her cheeks before finishing. "You've got to come back to him."

She didn't look at me while she gathered up her coat and purse, and kept her eyes trained on the floor as she walked away from Bella's bed. When her small hand went to open the heavy door, I quietly said her name.

Alice stopped, but kept her eyes down. "Yeah?"

I wanted to stay mad at her. I wanted her to hurt as much as Bella had been hurt. But I swallowed against the anger boiling in my chest and said, "A cup of coffee would be nice."

A small smile appeared on Alice's face and she nodded her head. "Is there anything else you need?"

I shook my head and watched she disappeared through the door, once against leaving me in the deafening silence. Leaning forward, I reached between the bars of her bed rails and gently touched Bella's hand. 

xXxXxXx

Four days. It had been four, long, excruciating, horrible, days. And I was wearing thin.

Without meaning to, I snapped at anyone who even slightly set me off. Emmett had accidentally knocked over an empty plastic basin that was sitting next to sink and I ordered him to leave Bella's room because he was being too loud. Alice had been smart enough to stay away, only walking by the room and looking in through the partially opened blinds. But it was Rosalie that had caught the worst of it.

"Still the same," she had said after finishing her assessment. "There isn't any change at all."

"Well maybe if you, and everyone else at this fucking hospital, would do their damn job we might not have that problem!" I regretted saying it before it had even left my mouth. When I'd looked at Rosalie, I knew I had seriously overstepped my limits.

Her nostrils had flared, her cheeks turned a scary shade of red, and her lips had curled back in a sneer. I'd thought she might of hit me, but instead, she'd just shaken her head and left the room. And that had left me there... with nothing but guilt and exhaustion.

People came and went. My parents stopped by, and while I appreciated their concern, I wanted to be left alone. I wanted to leave the hospital with Bella in hand. I wanted to go back to my-our- apartment and tuck her underneath the blankets of our bed. I wanted to feel her hands on my skin and in my hair... I wanted... God, I wanted her back. I wanted all of this to be over with!

I leaned over the side of Bella's bed, ignoring the way the bed rails cut into my stomach, and carefully laid my forehead against hers. I watched through blurry eyes as my tears fell from my face and onto hers, followed them as they ran down the sides of her face and into her hair.

"Bella." My voice broke when I whispered her name. "Please..."

I stayed like that, bent over her bed, begging and pleading, until my legs felt like they were going to give out. Reluctantly, I pulled away from her, wiped my tears away from her face, and fell back into the familiar chair that sat next to the bed. But, even sitting, I didn't stop asking for her to come back to me. With my hands reaching through the bed rails, I carefully stroked the soft skin of her arm and hand.

"I love you... more than anything I've ever..." It didn't feel right to compare her, us, to anything I'd ever experienced with someone else. "Bella, I can't lose you... Please, wake up... please."

There was no movement, no sound, no nothing.

Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and silently continued. Praying, for hours, that God would give me back the only thing that made me feel... real.

Through foggy sleep I felt something touching my hand but knew I shouldn't get my hopes up. But the feeling continued, getting more urgent, and even though I knew it wasn't anything, I opened my eyes.

Fingers were moving.

I moved my eyes from Bella's hand to her face. When I saw her scared, wide, eyes looking back at me, my body went into automatic overdrive. I stood up, kicked the chair against the wall, and leaned over her bed.

Panic and tears were all over her face and after yelling at the nurse to get her ass in the room, I tried my best to comfort Bella. I told her she was fine, that everything was okay. That seemed to help a little. Then I leaned in closer, smiling and brushing hair off of her forehead. 

When the door to her room opened, I stayed right where I was, making sure that she knew I wouldn't let anything happen to her. The nurse asked me to move but I didn't. She could work around me. There was no way that I would move until-

The door opened again and I wheeled my head around, thankful that my sister was running into the room.

"Bella, can you hear me?" She asked, siding up to her.

She nodded, eyes pleading for help, and Rosalie started explaining what was going on. When Bella took a deep breath, trying to follow my sister's orders, I smiled and squeezed her fingers.

"Edward, go wait outside."

Fuck that. I shook my head. "I'm not-"

And then, shockingly, Rosalie lost it. "Get the fuck out of this room or I'll call security!"

Part of me knew not to argue with her but the rest of me refused to leave Bella's side until I knew she was okay. I didn't want her to panic. I didn't want her to be scared. But when I looked back at her, she was nodding her head and squeezed my fingers.

Hating it, I slowly backed away from her bed. "I'll be right outside."

Bella nodded again, telling me she understood.

Rosalie gave me another look of annoyance when I backed up against the door and stayed there. "Out, Edward. Now."

I made myself turn the doorknob, made myself walk out into the hallway, and once I had, my knees gave out and I sank down onto the floor, smiling through my tears.

It was a while before the door to Bella's room opened again, but when Rosalie came out she stopped me from going back inside and hauled me into the corner by the front of my shirt.

"Ow!" I yanked away from her, only to get my ear trapped between her thumb and forefinger.

She pulled me down so that I was eye-level with her and then let me have it. "I am a fucking good doctor, Edward!"

"I... I know, Rosalie!"

She didn't let me go. "Do you have any idea how many strings I had to pull to be able to stay on Bella's case? I should be in the ER! Hell, I should be home right now! But I care about her, and I love you! So, I'm letting your little temper tantrum fly because I know how upset you've been!"

I nodded, wincing when it felt like my ear was about to be ripped from my head.

Rosalie let go and then took a deep breath. "Bella needs you."

"I know." Rubbing my side of my face I looked down at my sister. "And... I'm sorry."

She gave me a brief nod and then pointed a finger at me. The "I love you" that came out of her mouth was not at all what I expected. But, I gratefully accepted it and pulled Rosalie to me, hugging her.

"I love you, too. And, thank you, for everything."

She hugged me back and then pushed away from me. "Go. Go see her."

I didn't have to be told twice.

Bella's eyes were closed when I walked back into her room, and even though I knew I should have let her sleep, I had to touch her. I had to be greedy. Her eyes opened when my hand touched hers, and I smiled before leaning over the bed and kissing her forehead.

"I'm so glad you're okay. I was scared I'd lost you."

Her small hand came up to touch my face and then she said the three most perfect, beautiful, healing words I'd ever heard.

In a small, hoarse, whisper she said, "I love you."

"I love you, too."

Bella fought to keep her eyes opened, and I knew she had to rest. I kissed her fingers, one by one, and then her knuckles, before telling her she needed to go to sleep.

She settled into the bed, smiling as I fixed her blankets and pillow. As I did, I quietly told her we would talk when she woke up. "You can tell me why you were on that boat to begin with."

Her head settled against the pillow, her hand squeezed mine, and then I watched as her body surrendered to exhaustion. She melted, further and further into sleep, and I relaxed against the back of my chair.

I watched her, counted her breaths, and smiled when I noticed a little bit of color had returned to her cheeks. But then, with sudden urgency, her unfocused eyes opened and turned to look at me.

"What?" I leaned closer, worried she was in pain. "What's wrong?"

Her eyes were so cloudy, and I knew she was fighting how heavy her eyelids were, but she whispered only one word in response to my question.

"Kate."

I shook my head, knowing I hadn't heard her right. "What?"

"You..." She blinked slowly. "You lied..."

Fear froze my body, completely.

Bella didn't move, didn't open her eyes again, and didn't leave me with any other option but to freak the fuck out.

"Bella?" I asked, quietly.

Her head turned away from me and then she let out a long sigh, telling me she'd fallen asleep.

I carefully recaptured her hand in mine and knew that this was all going to get a whole lot worse before it got better. And that I had no one to blame for it but myself.

** AN: #TeamKatniss that is all.**


	25. Not Yours Anymore

****I own nothing****

Bella

Considering I'd been unconscious the past four days, it was remarkable how utterly exhausted I was. I would wake up, only to look around the room and then fall back asleep. I knew people were coming and going, talking in quiet whispers, but I couldn't muster the energy to fully wake up and see who they were. But then, as if someone had flipped a switch, my mind and body woke up. My eyes popped open and it was like for the first time since I'd originally woken up, I really understood what was going on.

I ached, to the point that a constant throbbing sensation thrummed through my body, matching my heartbeat. My head itched, my legs were restless, and I was extremely agitated. Craning my head around, I looked at the wall beside the bed and saw that it was either three in the morning or afternoon. Since it was quiet, I figured it was the first of the two.

Pointing my toes to the end of the bed, I tried to stretch my legs. That made me feel marginally better so I decided to try and sit up. But when a stabbing pain seared through my left shoulder, arm, and back, I fell against the bed and cried out.

"Bella?" Edward's groggy voice cut through the darkness of the room. He sat up, rubbing his eyes. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

Instead of answering him, I just looked over his face. It was obvious how exhausted he was, and judging the fact that he had the beginnings of a full beard, hadn't left the hospital since I'd been brought in. Wasn't that what Rosalie had told me? But I felt no pity for him. In fact, when I looked at his face, the only thing I felt was anger... betrayal... hurt.

"Baby, what's wron-"

His hand came towards me, like he was going to cup the side of my face, but I pulled away from his touch.

"Don't."

Edward's hand fell to the side of the bed and his face aged even more in an instance.

Maybe he thought I wouldn't remember, and maybe I should have been a little more gracious about the fact that he had spent the last four-or was it five, now?- days sitting at my bedside. But as if my body had shrugged its way out of the medicated fog it had been in, his little indiscretion with Kate came back into clear focus. He'd lied about sleeping with her, just to get me to have sex with him. And it really, really, hurt. 

"Bella... it isn't..."

I shook my head, not wanting to hear anything he had to say. "Don't, Edward."

His mouth set into a hard line. "We weren't together. We never were together."

My eyes stared at the foot of the bed and I spoke in as even a tone as I could. "I specifically asked you if you had slept with her. And you lied. You lied to get me into your bed because you knew I wouldn't if I knew you'd had sex with her." 

"It was just sex, Bella! It wasn't anything like what I have with you!"

"Then why did you hide it?" I quietly asked him. There wasn't an answer given back to me. "That night, playing skeeball, I thought Rosalie just didn't like me. But she was trying to warn me, to get you to tell me the truth."

Edward interrupted me. "Kate... she wasn't my girlfriend, Bella. She wasn't... She isn't..."

"You slept with her?" I asked, cutting across him. He nodded and then I continued. "You gave her a key to your apartment? She had been there enough to obviously know where you put things."

He took a deep breath through his nose, making his nostrils flare, and then shook his head. "You, better than anybody, know that I haven't... I couldn't be in a relationship. You know that. You're the first... since Victoria."

"Edward..." I closed my eyes, suddenly exhausted by the amount of talking we'd done in the past five minutes. And, it must have showed.

"We shouldn't be fighting, Bella. You're recovering from nearly drowning and you need to be resting not-" Edward's hand gently touched mine and I pulled it away from him. He sighed, in a defeated way, and then asked, "Do you want me to leave you alone?"

Keeping my eyes closed, I nodded my head. I didn't want to see the look on his face, or the way his shoulders would hunch over in a rejection. But even if my eyes didn't want to see anything, my ears heard everything. I heard him grab his jacket off of the back of the chair, heard him move the furniture back into the corner by my bed, heard him hesitantly walk away from my bed.

"I'll be in the waiting room, if you need me."

Leaving my eyes closed, I turned my head away from his voice and said, "I don't." 

xXxXxXx

"Do you have a living will, Miss Swan?"

I nodded at the nurse's question and avoided eye contact with Rosalie, who was listening to my heart.

"Does the hospital have a copy of it?" She checked a box on my paperwork when I shook my head. "Alright, I think thats about it. The only other thing is that we couldn't find a phone number for your parents. The number that your-"

"I don't want my parents to know anything." I interrupted her. "They will just worry and make things worse for everyone."

Rosalie pulled the stethoscope out of her ears and wrapped it around her neck before asking, "Don't you think they know something is going on, Bella? You were supposed to be back in Arizona on Sunday."

The truth was that my parents never really checked up on my to begin with. Since I'd graduated high school, mom had spent the majority of her time chasing after Bill... or Phil... whatever his name was. And my dad was used to me checking in once a month. No one in Arizona would be looking for me. But, admitting that to myself was hard enough. I didn't want to share it with anyone else. "I'll call them today and let them know I'm still here."

"Who would you like me to list as an emergency contact then?"

Rosalie had the decency to look away when I didn't automatically say Edward's name, but then popped her hip out and shook her head when I said Emmett's name instead.

"Really, Bella?"

I shrugged. "Do you want me to list you instead?"

She gave me a blank look for a moment before taking the form from the nurse and scratching out Emmett's name. She huffed before signing her own name and then shoved the clipboard at me. "Sign the last page."

I did what she asked and then handed it back to the nurse. Rosalie and I watched as the nurse left my room, and once the door shut, she turned back and looked at me.

"As your friend, and not your doctor, I want to know what the hell is going on."

"When can I leave?" I asked, instead of telling her anything. "And more importantly, when can I take a shower?"

Rosalie acted like she hadn't heard me. "Edward has been camped out in the waiting room all night."

"He should go home," I muttered, fixing my blankets. "There is no point in him sitting up here all day and night."

"I've told him that, several times, but the fact is that he isn't going to leave you up here. And as annoying as he was, sitting in here and watching over you like a hawk, at least I didn't have him calling me every thirty minutes asking how you are."

"When can I take a shower?" I asked again.

"Why is my brother sitting out in the waiting room?" Rosalie countered. When I glared at her, she just smiled. "Tit for tat, Bella. You tell me what the hell is going on and I'll make sure you get your hair washed."

"That isn't really fair."

She shrugged.

I yanked on my blanket before answering her. "I found out about Kate, okay?"

"And?" She drew out the word, like she was confused. "I thought you already knew about Kate. I made that plainly obvious the first night I met you."

"I didn't know she'd had sex with Edward, Rosalie. I didn't... she said she was 'as together as she could be with someone like him'. That sounds like a relationship to me. And when I asked him, specifically, if he had slept with her, he said no."

She sighed before sitting on the edge of my bed, making sure not to jostle me. "You know, I... I don't particularly enjoy discussing my brother's sexlife, but I can tell you that since Victoria... sex has nothing to do with emotional attachment. Maybe, sometimes I tried to think it did, like with Kate, but I've never seen my brother look at someone like he does at you. Not even with Victoria."

"He still lied to me. And you don't lie to people you care about. You don't lie to someone you love, just to get them into bed with you."

"I'm not defending what he did, or taking sides, but everyday I see people come into this hospital. Some of them have people that sit with them, some of them don't. But anyone who sits up here, for six days, without leaving... that is love. And even... I know you're mad and hurt, which is understandable, but punishing him like this... it is hurting you both. He wants to see you, Bella. He wants to make sure you're okay."  
>My eyes stayed fixed on my lap. "He needs to go home..."<p>

"Yeah," Rosalie agreed. "He does. But, he isn't going to. Not until he knows you're okay."

"Am I okay?" I asked her.

Edward's sister carefully got off of my bed before answering. "You'll survive... but I can't mend a broken heart." 

xXxXxXx

For twenty minutes, I'd laid on that stupid hospital bed and watched the damn daytime talk show on the TV. Edward sat in his usual chair, doing the same thing. Except I could feel his eyes shifting over to watch me every few minutes. It was becoming annoying. When the television went to another commercial break, I finally had to say something.

"Can you please stop staring at me?"

Edward's eyes looked down at his lap. "Sorry..."

I laid my head back against the pillows and sighed. "I wish you would go home and get some sleep... you look horrible."

"I'm fine."

I turned my head to look at him. "You're growing a beard, Edward. When was the last time you showered? Or ate? Or really slept?"

His hand rubbed the growth that covered his cheeks before he answered me. "I had some chips out in the waiting room. Really, I'm fine. You don't need to worry about me."

"Well I do."

It looked like he was trying not to smile as his eyes looked up and focused on the TV in front of us. And then, the silence continued.

We watched stupid soap operas and trashy talk shows, all the while keeping conversation between the two of us at a minimum. When Rosalie breezed through the door she smiled before dropping my chart at the foot of the bed.

"I have good news."

"I get to leave?" I asked, hopefully.  
>She gave me a sarcastic laugh. "No, sorry. But, you do get to move out of ICU and into a normal room. They'll start getting you up to test your motor skills and-"<p>

"And I'll finally get to take a shower?" I interrupted.

"And you can take a shower. Even put on some of your own clothes if you want. They'll take the catheter out and expect you to start, slowly, getting back to doing things on your own."

The idea of getting to walk around, to shower, to brush my teeth... it all sounded too good to be true.

"Do you want me to go home and get you some clothes? I can bring your laptop up here, too."

Edward's offer made my heart ache in an strange way. I knew I was upset about what had happened, but him reminding me that all of my stuff was at his apartment, that until a few days ago I'd been planning on moving to Seattle to be with him, it made me feel like... we'd failed.

I nodded my head though, and turned to look at him. "If you'll do me a favor."

"Anything."

"Shave the beard and sleep before you come back up here."

He smiled and, once again, rubbed his cheek. "You don't like it?"

I didn't. At all. The idea of kissing him with that thing covering his... I stopped myself from continuing. I wouldn't be kissing him anymore, would I? It shouldn't matter to me if he went around with a beard. My opinion shouldn't matter at all.

Casually, I waved a dismissive hand at him and went back to looking at the TV. "It's your face." 

xXxXxXx

"Engaged?"

Alice nodded her head, slowly. "I know."

"You've only known him a week..."

"I know."

Shaking my head, I tried to come to terms with the fact that my best friend was now engaged to Jasper Whitlock. I tried to understand why she had lied about calling our boss, lied about the interview, and been such a raging bitch the past week. But there wasn't an understanding... there wasn't... Engaged? Alice was engaged?

"I've been calling the office to keep them updated about your status. They said not to worry about anything."

"The interview..."

"Can wait," Alice finished for me. "The important thing is that you get better. That is the only thing that matters now. And I'll help in anyway I can, Bella. If you need me to call your parents or-"

"No calling my parents," I interrupted her.

She nodded. "Okay, no parents. But, Jasper and I would really like to help. However we can. Anything you need."

I appreciated her offer, and Jasper's, but like Edward, I wasn't sure I wanted anything from her. She'd lied to me. She'd purposefully hurt me. But, I also had to look at the fact that I was in a town where I knew no one. If I needed help, I had to ask at Edward, his family, or Alice.

Rosalie worked, all the time, not to mention she'd done more than enough for me already. And as nice as Emmett seemed, I wasn't going to call the guy up and ask him to help me shave my legs. Edward's parents, I'd only met once, and even though they had come to see me and sent me flowers... I wouldn't feel comfortable asking them for help. So, that left Edward and Alice.

"They're about to let me have a shower, actually."

Alice nodded, eager to help.

"And... my legs... are so fucking hairy."

Alice laughed, loudly, before covering her mouth. I couldn't help but smile at her outburst. Besides, it was funny. Nurses saw way worse things on a day to day basis than my hair legs and armpits, but it was something I was severely grossed out by and didn't want anyone else to see.

"I'll run down to the gift shoppe and get a razor and shaving cream. Anything else you want?"

I quickly made a list of stupid things that sounded appealing, like orange Tic-Tacs, Diet Coke, and lotion. Alice nodded and made for the door, but stopped when I called her name.

"Wait, let me give you some money." I looked around the room for my purse. "Where..."

Then it hit me. My purse, with every credit card I had, my driver's license, insurance cards, my notepad with all the notes about Jasper, my cellphone... all of it was now floating in the Pacific Ocean.

"I've got it covered, Bella. Don't worry about it."

"They didn't find anything?" I asked her. "After?"

She shook her head. "Just you...and Jasper."

xXxXxXx

By the time Edward returned from his apartment, I'd been moved to a new room, had a shower, and become entirely upset by the fact that my body looked completely different than it had a week ago. I was covered in bruises, one of my toes curled at an odd angle because of hypothermia, I was going to have several scars from the surgery they'd done on my shoulder and arm, and I would probably have scars on my neck and face too. It was stupid to be upset, because I knew the alternative would have been dying, but to see how bad I really looked... was upsetting. Rosalie could have explained what had happened to my body a thousand times, but it wasn't until I saw the effects, first hand, that I really got it.

I'd nearly died.

So when Edward walked through the door, holding flowers, my luggage, and laptop case, I turned away from him to hide the fact that I'd been crying.

"Bella? What... did something happen? Are you okay?"

I shook my head as he carefully sat down all of my stuff. "I'm fine."

"No, you're not." He walked around the side of the bed so he could see my face. "Are you in pain?"

"I'm fine."

"You don't have to lie to me, Bella." Edward leaned over the bed, put a hesitant hand on my hip and then shook his head. "Why won't you let me help you?"

More tears fell down my cheeks and I tried to push his hand off of my hip, but he just grabbed my hand and squeezed it, lacing his fingers through mine. I wanted to tell him to stop. I wanted him to leave me alone. But more than the hurt, more than the anger, I just wanted to stop feeling so alone and scared.

"Let me help you."

When I didn't try to pull away from him, or tell him to leave me alone, Edward carefully leaned down and kissed my forehead before wiping away the tears on my cheeks. "Tell me what's wrong."

Still holding on to his hand, I looked up at him. "It was bad, wasn't it?"

He nodded, very slowly, and then sat on the edge of the bed.

"I didn't realize I looked so bad... until they let me take a shower and I saw... in the mirror..."

Immediately, Edward started shaking his head. "You look beautiful."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, because hospital gowns and plaster casts are so attractive."

"Bella." He laughed before wiping off my cheeks again. "The side effects of what happened aren't going to be permanent. The bruises and cuts will go away. The important thing is that you're okay."

I nodded because I knew he was right. "I guess I'm just... ready for all of this to be over. I'm ready to go back home and..."

My voice drifted off as Edward's body became rigid next to mine. His mouth became a hard line, set across his face, and his eyebrows pulled together making him look angry.

"Home?" He whispered.

I nodded and carefully let go of his hand. When he looked down at me, I turned my eyes to the wall opposite us. "Arizona."

**AN: How was the movie? I can't go see it till tomorrow. Boo!**


	26. Beside You

**Not mine.**

Edward

"Sir, you can't sit in the hallway."

I ignored them.

"Sir? Can you hear me?"

Ignored them even more.

"Really, I must insist that you move to the waiting room."

I didn't move from my spot on the floor outside of Bella's room until a pair of familiar feet stood in front of me. Reluctantly, I looked up at my sister and shook my head. "I'm not leaving."

Rosalie just sighed before reaching down and taking my arm. "Come with me."

I didn't have a choice but to follow her, unless I wanted my arm ripped off. She led me to a desk that sat a few feet away from Bella's door and then deposited me in a chair that rolled a few inches from the force of me flopping down into it.

"I just got a page from the supervising nurse that you've been sitting out here all night. What the hell is going on with you?"

"She doesn't want me in there so... what choice do I have? I'm not leaving. Not without her."

Rosalie leaned a hip against the desk and frowned. "She doesn't want you in there? What happened?"

"Kate... happened."

My sister just shook her head. "Excuse me?" She watched, through narrowed eyes, as I explained what had happened. When I'd finished, Rosalie grabbed one of the extra chairs and sat down next to me. "Number one, why didn't you just tell her you'd slept with Kate?" 

"I don't-"

She cut me off. "And secondly, Bella doesn't know what the hell she is doing. She's drugged. She's probably suffering from post-traumatic stress... not to mention the fact that her body is still recovering from nearly drowning."

"I don't know Rosalie..." I stared down at my lap. "She seemed pretty damn lucid."

"Listen, Edward. I'm not going to get in the middle of this thing with you guys, but believe me when I tell you that Bella is not all there right now. Emotionally, she is going to be all over the place. And you have got to be able to stand through this with her."

"How? I mean, I'm willing to do whatever but if she doesn't even want me in there... What the hell am I supposed to do?"

"Give it time. The last thing Bella wants, or needs, is to be alone right now. And even if she hates you, you're the only one she has. Just... remember that what she says, what she does, that isn't really her, Edward. She's grasping at anything to take her mind off of what happened, and unfortunately, you're little lie about Kate is it."

"And what about when she gets out of the hospital, Rosalie? Do I just let her go and hope that eventually she shakes off the trauma and remembers that she loved me? That I'm still in Seattle hoping she'll come back?"

My sister smiled before standing up. "Bella isn't going back to Arizona. Not for a while."

She walked away, leaving me at the desk, but stopped before going into Bella's room. Looking over her shoulder, she said, "I love you because you're my brother, but don't ever lie to her again. Okay?"

I nodded and watched as she pushed open the heavy door leading into Bella's room.

xXxXxXx

When I walked out of the hospital, planning to drive back home and grab a few of Bella's things, I realized that I didn't have a car. In fact, I was pretty sure that my vehicle was still parked at the marina, the keys for it, at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean by now. That led to me calling Emmett, asking him to find the spare keys to my apartment and then pick me up at the hospital. I also had to call Alice and find out what marina Jasper used for his boat. They offered to drive me anywhere I needed to go, but I declined their offer. I might have slightly forgiven Alice, but Jasper was still on my shit list. Instead, I waited for Emmett's Jeep, watching as snow fell over the hospital's parking lot.

"So?" He asked, while pulling out into traffic, not waiting for me to put my seatbelt on. "How is Bella today? I was going to come by and see her but Rosalie said that I should wait a couple of days to let her adjust."

I wearily looked at the cars we passed while answering him. "She's better; I mean she's awake, so that is a huge improvement."

"But?"

For a second, I wanted to complain about the fact that Bella refused to believe that my sexual activities with Kate had been anything but just sex. Then I remembered what Rosalie had told me, about Bella's moods being affected by her medication and trauma her body has sustained, and I decided to keep my mouth shut. If my sister was right, and Bella just need this as a something to fixate on, then I had to just endure it. I knew lying to her hadn't been the right choice, and looking back I realized how completely stupid it had been of me, but I couldn't change that. All I could do was suck it up and try to do everything I could to make sure Bella knew I was there for her. No matter what.

So, looking at my brother-in-law, I shook my head. "But nothing. She's alive, awake, and surprisingly healthy considering what happened. That's all that matters."

Emmett waited in the car while I ran into my apartment and found my extra car keys. When we pulled into the marina's parking lot, I sighed in relief to find out my car hadn't been towed.

"You need anything else?"

I shook my head at Emmett's question, but before I shut the door to his car, told him that Bella would appreciate him coming by to see her.

"You think? I don't want to make her uncomfortable."

"It would probably make her feel better to know that there are people in Seattle that care about her other than just me. Make her feel less alone."

He muttered something about us being her family but I didn't ask him to repeat himself. I was willing to put up with Bella's aggravation and anger towards me, but I couldn't handle discussing the idea of my family being hers as well. All it would do is get my hopes up and that wouldn't help any of us. Especially if Rosalie ended up being wrong and Bella did leave to go back to Arizona.

I was about to shut the door, but was stopped by Emmett saying my name.

"Yeah?"

"Take my advice and sleep a little before you go back up to the hospital. You'd be surprised by what a few hours of sleep can do. Alright?" When I nodded, He straightened up in seat and then smiled. "Now shut the damn door, you're letting all the heat out." 

At home, I was surprised to find everything as it had been when I'd left for work on Friday morning. My coffee mug was still in the sink, Bella's water bottle that I'd given her at the field house was sitting on the bar, and even the bed was made. For some reason I'd expected it to be a complete mess, just like everything else.

I wandered around my room, taking off my watch and dropping it onto the dresser, and then slipped out of the shirt I'd been wearing since leaving for school Friday morning. As I walked around the corner and into my bathroom, I was shocked to see my reflection in the mirror.

"Holy shit." Watching my movements in the mirror, I reached up and touched the growth of hair that covered the majority of my face. Along with the bloodshot eyes, I looked like a cross between a hobo and a serial killer. "No wonder everyone kept telling me to go home."

I turned away from the mirror, dropped my shirt in the hamper and then turned the shower on. As steam filled the room, I finished undressing, and nearly fell asleep standing up when the warmth from the water pressed in on my exhausted body. But I made myself shower, and shave, and then fell into the bed with my mind completely distracted by Bella's scent that lingered in my sheets. Pressing my face into the pillow, I closed my eyes and finally slept. 

xXxXxXx

"I just want to go home and..."

My heart froze as I looked down at Bella's tear stained face. Surely she didn't mean _home_, home. She had to mean just leaving the hospital, right?

"Home?" I asked, hoping she wasn't meaning leaving Seattle. 

"Arizona."

My stomach plummeted to the soles of my feet and I tried desperately hard not to argue the point that me having sex with someone else, when Bella and I weren't even in a relationship, was a completely bullshit excuse for her to leave. But my sister's voice rang through my mind, reminding me that this wasn't Bella. Not really. And arguing with her was not going to help either of us. So I took a deep breath and went back to the suitcase I'd left sitting by the door.

I felt her eyes watching me as I started unpacking a few of her things, but didn't say anything. I concentrated on putting all of her toiletries by the sink and then carefully sat her laptop on her lap, ignoring her gaze.

"Thank you."

Nodding, I situated the flowers I'd gotten for her on the table beside her bed, and then started unpacking her clothes. "I wasn't sure if you could get your arm into the t-shirts you had for sleeping so I brought a few of my button-downs, thinking we could just cut the sleeve off if they weren't big enough."

Again, I felt her watching me, but I continued putting her clothes up. Piling a few pairs of socks and underwear into one drawer, I opened the other one and carefully put her folded pajama pants and my shirts inside. With my back still to the bed, I shut the drawer, zipped up the suitcase and carefully put it in the tiny closet. "Do you want me to get a nurse come help you change clot-"

When I turned to look at Bella, I stopped my question mid-sentence and slowly walked to the side of her bed. Her face was covered by her hand and her shoulders shook as quiet sobs shook her body.

Seeing her crying was hard enough, but knowing how her crying made her entire body hurt, made it even worse. So with careful movements, I gently moved her hand away from her face. "Bella, stop okay? Everything is going to be fine and you don't need to worry about any-"

"Why can't you just be an asshole, Edward? It would make being mad you so much easier!"

I smiled before sitting on the side of her bed. "Me being an asshole wouldn't help anything right now. Just let me take care of you, okay?"

Hastily she wiped the tears off of her cheeks. "Why do you want to? After Kate and-"

"Because I love you, Bella." I didn't hesitate to answer her question. "Regardless of how you feel about me, or about us, I still love you. I'm not going to leave you up here by yourself, no matter how angry you are with me. So I can either sit outside and annoy the shit out of my sister, or I can sit in that chair next to your bed and keep you company. Either way, I'm not leaving, but you can take your pick."

She seemed a little startled by how brash my words were, but after a second she slowly nodded her head. "Stay…please."

xXxXxXx

"I can't wait to get the hell out of this hospital."

Smiling at Bella's grumbling, I sat the small, white, pastry box in front of her. "Maybe this will help."

She eyed the box, and then me, before asking, "What is it?"

"Open it and see," I answered. "But hurry before Emmett gets here."

I sat in the chair and watched as she slowly pulled the tape away from the lid and lifted it to see the maple bar donuts that were nestled inside. When a small, but genuine, smile curved her lips, I couldn't help but feel a little giddy. The last two weeks hadn't been easy, at all, but moments like this made it completely worth it.

Just as my sister has predicted, Bella was completely erratic emotionally. One minute she was fine, the next she would start bawling her eyes out. But, just like I'd promised, I hadn't left her side unless it was to go home and shower or get more clothes. I'd ended up taking a leave of absence from the school, using all of my time off and emergency paid days off, but I knew it was worth it.

Every day I saw Bella getting better, getting back to normal, and I just prayed that eventually she would remember that before all of this had happened, she'd loved me. Holding on to that, made it all easier.

"Are these from-"

I nodded at her unfinished question. "They should still be warm too."

Bella's smile widened as she carefully pulled one of the donuts out of the box and bit into it. I watched, thoroughly pleased with the fact that she was eating, and that she seemed to be in a better mood than she had been this morning.

Covering her mouth, Bella muttered "Your sister came by when you were gone."

"What'd she say?"

Swallowing, and then taking a drink of water, she shrugged her uninjured shoulder. "She said she wanted to talk to you and Alice about something." Bella turned her head to look at me. "Do you know what she wants?"

"No idea."

"Would you tell me if you did?"

I nodded even though it wasn't true. Rosalie often gave me news that she thought Bella couldn't handle and I tried to decide which she really needed to hear and which ones were better left unsaid.

Bella knew I was lying, and I was pretty sure she was about to call me on it, but I was saved by Emmett pushing the door to her room open. His loud voice and obnoxious laughter turned Bella's attention away from me, thankfully.

"Who the hell got donuts? Edward?" Emmett lifted the lid of the box and frowned when he saw that there was only two left. "Well thanks for getting enough for everyone, asshole."

Bella laughed before looking at me and I was very grateful for my brother-in-law's presence, even offering him my maple bar in appreciation. He didn't have to be offered twice and that thing was devoured in less than a minute.

He served as an even better distraction when I got a text message from my sister, asking me to meet her out in the hallway. Emmett had her giggling at some story he was telling, so much so that she hardly even noticed me inching towards the door.

"I'm going to go get some coffee," I muttered, pulling the door open.

Bella just nodded, keeping her attention focused on Emmett's exaggerated expressions, and I slipped out into the hallway. My sister was already there, talking to Alice and Jasper, but stopped when she saw me walking towards them.

"What's going on?"

"Bella is probably going to get discharged within the next couple of days." Rosalie answered. She must have noticed the look of panic on my face because she immediately started explaining. "I'm not giving her clearance to leave Seattle; in fact if she does travel against medical advice then her insurance won't pay for any of the charges she's incurred since they brought her in. But, I can't keep her admitted here; she'll have to go to a hotel or… to someone's house."

Alice started to open her mouth and I immediately spoke over her. "Don't even think about it, Alice. If Bella is leaving this hospital with anyone, it's me. She will come back to my apartment and I'll take care of her myself. End of story."

She held her hands up, defensively. "I was just going to offer to help when you were at work, Edward. Of course Bella will go with you."

"And if she doesn't want to?" We all looked at Jasper but he merely shrugged before continuing. "I'm just wondering what we will do if Bella refuses to go with you? Shouldn't we have a backup plan?"

Rosalie's hand grabbed my arm before I could follow through with finishing the beating I'd given him in the ER. "We just won't give Bella an option. She can't go to a hotel on her own and Edward's apartment is the best option we have. If she asks either one of you for something different, then you'll just have to tell her that you can't take her in. Edward's been helping the nurses with Bella's dressing changes and it really does make sense for him to continue caring of her."

No one argued with her.

"So when will you tell her?" Alice asked.

Rosalie looked down at the chart in her hands before answering. "We've got to do another MRI and run some blood work before I can conclusively say she can leave, but I should know for sure by tomorrow afternoon."

We talked for a few minutes more, about the home therapy and nursing assistance she'd get once she left the hospital, but after Jasper and Alice had walked away, Rosalie stopped me from going back to Bella's room.

"I agreed with you about Bella going home with you, Edward, but you've got to make sure that you'll be able to do this before we talk to her about it." She held her hands up to stop me from interrupting her. "I know you've been up here helping her and I know you love her, but caring for someone in your home, without twenty-four hour nursing assistance… that's totally different."

"You don't think I can do it?" I asked her.

"No," she shook her head. "I know you can do it. I just want you to be sure that this is what you want. Edward, there is a serious chance that doing this could make the situation between the two of you worse."

"Or it could make it better."

Rosalie nodded but still has seriousness to her voice. "Just think about it tonight, Edward, alright?"

I agreed but I knew there wasn't anything to think about. Bella needed someone to help her and I wasn't willing to let anyone else do it. Sure, it might make it worse, but hadn't we already dealt with worse? I'd been through the thought of losing Bella, forever. I'd sat beside her bed and watched as she lie there lifeless, wondering if she was ever going to come back. I'd listened to her crying, watched her face contort with pain, and seen the changes her body had gone through. I'd heard her tell me she was leaving, that she didn't need me, but she'd also asked me to stay. And I was going to.

AN: Well, some of you hate me… sorry.


End file.
